Nights, Days, Shadows
by servantofclio
Summary: A surprise attraction between two Normandy crewmembers develops into something more. Liara/Garrus; references to FemShep/Kaidan.
1. One Night on Noveria

Inspired by a randomly generated, very short kinkmeme prompt: Garrus/Liara, Night Patrol. The patrol element kind of got lost, but this was fun to write anyway.

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><p>"This is probably a waste of time," Garrus muttered under his breath. "I think they all know we're on Shepard's crew."<p>

Liara curled her fingers more tightly around his arm. "Or they're all used to keeping secrets anyway," she murmured back, and got a rumble of assent.

It was cold on Noveria, and not just from the weather. The architecture was all high-ceilings, sparse lighting, and institutional gray walls, and Liara thought she saw the weight of secrets and paranoia on every face. Unless it was just her own secrets and fears, reflected.

Shepard had called back to the Normandy in a foul mood, saying, "I'll be bludgeoning my way through the bureaucracy here for hours. I need another team on the ground. Eyes and ears open, pick up whatever you can about Benezia, Saren, Peak 15, or Binary Helix." Alenko and Williams were accompanying the commander, and Tali had stayed shipside, since a quarian on the corporate world would be conspicuous. Wrex was off dealing with krogan and other hired guns. That left Garrus and Liara to blend in and eavesdrop among the corporate crowds. Not that they were precisely good at this undercover business. Out of armor, Garrus looked ill at ease, and Liara felt uncomfortable herself in the high-necked, long-skirted dresses deemed fashionable for the corporate set. It reminded her of the sort of parties her mother had pressed her to attend when she was younger. She wasn't sure either of them was doing a very good job of pretending to be a couple, either. She, at least, had never had much of an idea how to flirt. Turians and asari were common enough sights here that they didn't stand out as unusual, at least. She could see half a dozen such pairs having low-voiced conversations in the chilly courtyard. She looked out the windows. It was dark already, and snow swirled against the glass.

"The weather's getting worse," she whispered. "We'll need to leave soon, or..." Or they wouldn't be able to get to Peak 15 at all, she did not say.

Garrus shivered. "I hate the cold," he grumbled, and she squeezed his arm a little, in sympathy.

"Let's try the hotel lounge," she suggested. "It's probably a little warmer."

"Might as well."

The hotel's lounge was indeed warmer, and the people seemed more relaxed. Maybe this would be a better spot to pick up some information. Garrus offered to get drinks, and Liara nodded. "I'm just going to freshen up."

She found her way to the restroom without incident. As she washed up and examined her reflection, the asari next to her caught her eye. "Say," she said. "Is that turian you're with just a co-worker, or your boyfriend?"

Liara blinked. "Uh, boyfriend," she lied, flushing a little. Oh, Goddess, she could even see herself blush, in the mirror. "It's new," she added hastily. "We haven't known each other long." Hadn't she read somewhere that it was always a good idea to season one's lies with truth?

The other asari sighed. "I just wanted to check before I made a move. You're lucky! He's very handsome."

"Er, thank you?" Liara said, nonplussed. She'd never particularly thought of Garrus as handsome or not. Or any of the other crew, either. Even Shepard, who fascinated her; but it wasn't just about... physical attraction, no matter what impression she might have given. The commander was friendly enough, but had gently put her off, clearly enough that even Liara could catch the cues. She ought to take up less of Shepard's time, she thought; she should venture out and get acquainted with the rest of the crew more often.

The asari next to her was touching up her makeup and chattering on about her preference for turians, and how she didn't see the appeal of human males, who just looked like asari gone wrong, and Liara realized that no, what she _really_ ought to be doing was following her mission. She splashed a little water on her face. "I heard a matriarch came through not long ago," she said.

"Oh yes. We don't see a lot of matriarchs around here. My friend Dylla actually talked to her, and said she was so impressive! She could really feel she was in the presence of someone with special wisdom."

Liara's jaw tightened. Benezia did tend to make an impression. "Do you know what she's doing here?"

The other maiden shrugged. "I heard she went out to Peak 15, but who knows why. No one who has business out there really talks about it."

"I see." More questions might make her suspicious. Liara turned toward the door. "Have a good evening."

"Hey." She looked back, and the other maiden smiled at her in the mirror. "If you and your boyfriend are interested in a third, let me know. Just ask for Isada at the bar."

She blushed again. "I... I will."

Garrus had chosen a booth from which he could survey the whole room and looked visibly tense when she emerged. Glancing over her shoulder, she realized Isada had also left the restroom. To keep up appearances, she dropped a kiss on his cheek-plate as she joined him. He looked at her sharply, but didn't otherwise show surprise. "There you are," he said. "I was starting to wonder if you'd gotten lost."

She smiled and picked up the glass of wine he'd gotten her. "No. I was just chatting with her," flicking her head in Isada's direction.

"Did you learn anything?"

"Nothing new. You?"

"Mm. Chatted with a turian in security. Something's going on at Synthetic Insights. There's an executive who might be helpful, but he hasn't put in an appearance tonight, according to the bartender."

Liara sipped her wine. "Are you still cold?"

"A little. You were right, though. It's warmer in here."

She slid along the bench and leaned into his side, turning her head to whisper into his ear, "We are supposed to be a couple, after all."

"True." He slid his arm around her shoulders. She fought back another blush. She'd never behaved like this in public with anyone. She felt awkward, though it was more comfortable than she would have thought; he felt quite warm to her. She leaned her head against his shoulder, glancing over the room. Isada was in a corner, talking with another asari and a couple of humans.

She said, "The asari I was talking was rather taken with you. She offered to, ah, join us later."

"Oh? _Oh_." Garrus's gaze followed where she was looking, and she felt him tense slightly. "The one in the red dress?"

"Yes."

"She has a concealed pistol."

Liara's eyes widened. "I thought carrying weapons was forbidden." They hadn't been able to carry anything themselves. Shepard had left extra weapons for them with a hanar storekeeper who apparently owed the Spectre a favor.

"Yes. She might be undercover security, I suppose."

"Or she might be one of Benezia's," Liara whispered. "I haven't seen her in years, I wouldn't know all of her entourage." And Benezia and her followers might well have been able to slip something past Port Hanshan security.

"If so, is there a chance she knows you?"

Liara hesitated. "I don't know," she had to admit.

"We should keep an eye on her," said Garrus.

"What about the executive?"

He brought up his omni-tool. "I'll send Shepard a message." He paused a moment, waiting for a reply, drumming gloved talons against the table. "We're supposed to watch, but not make contact unless absolutely necessary." He sounded almost disappointed.

"She's leaving," Liara whispered.

"Then let's follow." Garrus caught her arm and pulled her out of the booth before she could protest.

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><p>Isada was headed down a corridor; the warmer decor of the hotel soon gave way to the institutional gray that seemed typical of Noveria. Fortunately for them, there were other people passing both ways in the hallway, so they weren't too conspicuous, and Isada's red dress made it easier to keep her in sight. Garrus kept them at what he deemed a safe distance. They stopped when Isada did, and leaned close together as if having a private conversation. Liara tried to look in their direction without turning her head. Isada was talking to another asari, this one dressed in the sort of form-fitting black suit many commandos favored. The asari turned, and Liara quickly turned away.<p>

"I know her," Liara whispered. "I've seen her with my mother." Decades ago, it had been, when she visited on a break from her studies.

"Well, that's some kind of confirmation." Garrus tilted his visor in their direction, and stiffened. "She's coming this way."

Liara glanced. Isada was continuing down the corridor, but the commando was headed in their direction, with long, brisk strides. She'd definitely recognize Liara if she saw her face. She did the only thing she could think of: pushed Garrus against the wall, and buried her face against his neck, kissing the warm hide. To make things look more convincing, she told herself. She only realized she must have found a sensitive spot when he sagged against the wall, pulled her close to him, and nuzzled against the side of her face. Oh. _Oh!_ Was _this_ what she'd been missing out on, burying herself in her work? His breath was hot against her neck, his body was firm and warm against hers, his hands tightened on her waist, and he shuddered as her own hands tentatively moved around him. Her heart raced and her senses went a little blurry. It took her some time to realize that the commando's assured footsteps had moved past them, and another moment to pull away, reluctantly. "I'm sorry," she stammered.

Garrus didn't let go. "Are you?" he said, his voice a little rough.

She looked up. His eyes had green flecks in the blue, she noticed. She'd never noticed before, because she'd never been close enough. They were very intent, and much less sharp than usual, and she was still half leaning into him, and his hands were still on her hips... Her cheeks grew hot, and she glanced from side to side. "I... I don't see either of them. What do we do now?"

"Right." Garrus finally let go, and she stepped back, flushed and embarrassed. "I got images of both of them," he said, tapping his visor, "so I'll send those to Shepard and Wrex." His mandibles pulled in. "I hope Wrex is actually checking messages."

Liara didn't think that likely, but kept her opinion to herself. After a moment's whispered conversation, they reasoned that the commando was headed back into the more public areas of the hotel, whereas Isada seemed to be moving toward the maintenance areas, and decided to see if they could find her again. As they approached the intersection of one corridor and another, Garrus slowed down, then stopped completely and pulled Liara to the side. Straining, she could just here Isada's voice; she must be just around the bend.

"... bomb the Spectre's ship... yes, I can get to the docking bay... plant it at the airlock..."

Liara clutched at Garrus's arm. "We have to do something," she whispered.

"She's coming back," he returned, wrapping an arm around her and starting back the way they'd come.

She leaned into him to maintain their imposture, and tried to think. She heard footsteps behind them, and then Isada passed them, walking faster than she had before. On impulse, Liara called out to her. "Isada!"

She stopped and turned, looking tense at first, then relaxed and smiled. "Oh, it's you."

Liara plastered a broad smile on her face and squeezed her companion. Garrus made a startled noise. "Right, from the restroom. I was just thinking about you. Do you want to join us after all?"

For a moment, Isada's gaze turned measuring, though her smile didn't falter. "Sure," she said. "Why not?"

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><p>Liara's plan, such as it was, had been to overpower the other asari as soon as they had her alone, not that she'd had any opportunity to share that plan with Garrus. But there were other people in the corridor, in the elevator, and even in the hallway outside Isada's hotel room. It wasn't until the door closed behind them that they had her alone, and by then Liara's face was burning. <em>At least she's not blowing up the Normandy if she's with us<em>, she told herself.

But no matter what pretenses they'd used to get up here, she was startled when the door closed and Isada was immediately all over her, kissing her with almost bruising force, unzipping her dress and snaking a hand inside to fondle her ribs and breast and tweak her nipple sharply. Liara reeled back and ran into the edge of a desk, clutching it for balance. Isada abandoned her just as quickly, turning her attention to the turian, nimble fingers undoing his shirt as she nibbled on his neck and mandibles. Liara tried to catch her breath, feeling almost light-headed with embarrassment, even a twinge of jealousy as Isada ran her hands over the silvery plates of his chest. Then Garrus's body contorted oddly, and Liara had a moment of wondering stupidly how Isada gotten that reaction before realizing she'd just hit him with a warp.

She scrambled sideways and used her biotics to shove the desk toward the other asari, then had to dodge as it came flying back in her direction. She tried a stasis attack, but was sure she'd missed, and had to settle for activating her barrier as she backed further into the room, trying to gather the focus for another attack. Isada laughed. "Did you really think I didn't recognize you, Dr. T'soni?"

The space next to Liara folded in on itself, and she narrowly yanked herself away from Isada's singularity. Oh, oh Goddess, what was she going to do, this was a lot easier with Shepard telling her what to do... and she suddenly remembered she had a pistol, and fumbled to get it out of its concealed holster.

There was a flare and a crackle, and she felt the surge of a damping field, muffling her biotics. Isada cursed, drawing her own pistol with a speed and fluidity that Liara envied. Garrus was back on his feet, at least, and grabbed for Isada's arm. Liara finally got her pistol free, but hesitated. The other two were struggling in a way she couldn't quite follow, much too close together, and she knew she couldn't fire and risk hitting her teammate, and she still didn't have biotics...

Somebody's gun went off, and she smelled blood. Liara flinched. Garrus swore, and stepped back; she finally had a clear shot, so she fired at Isada's back. She felt her biotics come back, and Isada started to gesture, but there was another shot. A dark stain spread over the back of Isada's dress, and the asari toppled to the floor. Liara stared at her body in shock.

"Dammit," said Garrus. "Now we can't question her."

Liara couldn't help it: he sounded so exasperated that she giggled. She stood up and prodded Isada's body with one foot, and found herself laughing hysterically when Isada didn't move. Her hands were empty; Garrus must have gotten the pistol away from her. She turned toward her teammate, who stood regarding her warily, and her laughter died. "You're bleeding," she said.

He shrugged. "She got a shot off before I got the gun away from her. I'm fine. It just grazed me."

"Stop being stubborn and let me look at it," she said, pointing toward the desk chair. She got him to sit and examined the wound. He was right, it was just a graze on his upper arm, but the long furrow was bleeding heavily. Liara found some medigel in the bathroom's first aid kit and used it until the dark blue flow slowed to a trickle. She bit her lip. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have called to her or tried to get her alone... this is my fault..." Her eyes filled with tears, and she bent her head to conceal them.

Garrus put a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, we're alive and she's not. And she's not going to be planting any bombs. That's a win for our side. This will heal in no time. Don't worry about it."

She looked up, and found his eyes very calm and focused on her. She noticed the green flecks all over again. She blinked back her tears and gave in to impulse one more time, kissing him on the mouth. She wanted to kick herself almost immediately... this was a stupid, stupid gesture to impose on a turian... but he pressed back against her, and his tongue flicked lightly across her lips, and by the time she broke it off, her heart was pounding. "I... we should get you back to the Normandy," she said.

He looked at her intently. "Your, uh, chest is showing."

Her face grew hot. Goddess. Her dress was still unzipped, her breasts were practically hanging out, and she hadn't even noticed. She hastily zipped up.

Garrus sighed a trifle. "I'll call in. See if there's anything useful in here, or on her omni-tool."

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><p>-Epilogue-<p>

Dr. Chakwas insisted on giving her an examination too, even though she had nothing worse than scrapes and bruises. She got Shepard's message while she was in there. She left the medbay to find Garrus at a table in the mess hall. "Oh!" she said, conscious that there was no one else in the room at this hour. "How are you?"

His arm was bandaged. "Minor graze, a couple of strained ligaments from the warp." He flashed her a grin. "Turians aren't supposed to bend that way." She smiled back. "You're all right?" he asked.

"I'm fine. I have to head out, though. Shepard got a pass out of Port Hanshan, and wants me to come along to Peak 15." Her smile faded as she thought about her mother. "I... thank you. For everything."

He tilted his head sideways, regarding her with a look she didn't know how to read. "No problem, Dr. T'Soni. It was my pleasure."

"Liara," she corrected, and headed for the elevator, to get her weapons and armor.

As she passed him, he added softly, "Be careful out there."

She stopped, and met his eyes, and for some reason found herself blushing all over again. Goddess, had she ever blushed so much on one night before? "I will," she said, and he caught her hand and squeezed lightly, and she carried the memory of that warm touch out into the cold Noveria night.

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><p>I have some vague ideas for continuing this. Feel free to leave a review or message if you'd care to see more.<p> 


	2. Friendly Assistance

Author's Note: Thank you, all those who said you were interested in seeing more of this story! Here's a new installment, and I now have a plan that goes through the end of ME2... though some of the middle parts are a little fuzzy. The story probably needs a new title, though, and I haven't yet figured out what that should be.

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><p>Liara was so cold. She felt as if the cold of Noveria had seeped into her bones, and she might never be warm again. Her fingers were so stiff and numb that she fumbled with her armor. Williams helped her get it off.<p>

Her mother was dead.

Williams helped her stow her equipment, too. She mumbled her thanks, closed the locker, and stared at it blankly. The air of the ship was warm, she knew that, but it didn't seem to penetrate.

Her mother was dead, and her mind had not been her own.

She went to the showers. Had someone nudged her in that direction? She wasn't sure. She stripped off her undersuit, distantly aware that it smelled of sweat and blood and rachni, and turned on the hot water. Turned it hotter than usual.

Her mother hadn't called her _Little Wing_ in... a long time. She couldn't think how long. Since before their last big fight, about her postdoctoral plans. Since then there'd been only occasional messages and strained calls. Had her mother known Saren, that long ago? How long had she not been herself? When had she first gotten embroiled in Saren's plans? Had Liara been arguing all those years with Benezia's true self, or with the other she had become?

She leaned her head against the wall and let the hot water beat at her skin. It was almost painful, and she still felt cold inside.

She should be able to remember the last time she and her mother were on good terms, the last time they'd laughed together, the last time she'd confided in her mother without criticism, the last time Benezia had called her a pet name and stroked her head while Liara rested it in her mother's lap. She knew all these things had happened, but she couldn't remember when was the last, before they'd descended into a spiral of arguing and recriminations and tension.

A sob broke out of her throat, and she let the tears fall, mingling with the water from the shower. A chime sounded, indicating she'd used her allotment of wash water. She ignored it.

Her mother had tried to kill her, and Shepard, and the rest of the team. She had recovered herself, and she had lost herself again, and Shepard had killed her. Shepard had killed the rachni queen, too. Liara envied that Shepard could make decisions like that, considering, but not flinching, not paralyzed by too much consideration of the consequences.

The chime sounded again, louder, so Liara turned the water off. Her skin stung from the shock of the hot water, and yet she still felt numb. She toweled off, slowly. Wrapping the towel around herself, she rested her back against the wall and slid down until she was sitting on the floor, thinking step by step over the things that she'd seen at Peak 15.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there before somebody spoke."Liara?" She turned her head. Tali stood just inside the doorway, nervously, holding a bundle of cloth. "I brought you some fresh things."

"Thank you." She stood, stiff muscles aching, and accepted the clothing, pulled on familiar pants and shirt and jacket.

"We all heard about your mother," Tali said, twining her fingers together. "I'm sorry."

"Oh." She supposed she was glad she didn't have to tell everyone. "Thank you."

"You've been down here for a while. Don't you want to eat something?"

She should, she knew that. She hadn't eaten since returning, and there'd been many hours of combat and biotics use, but she didn't feel hungry. "All right," she said faintly. "I'll try."

Tali guided her up to the mess, one hand on her elbow, and planted her in a chair. Liara sat, feeling remote, while Tali puttered around, setting a glass of water in front of her and preparing something with the food replicator. Liara felt grateful, as much as she felt anything, that Tali didn't chatter, letting her sit quietly. Seeing the water did make her feel thirsty, and she drank it eagerly. The food... stuck in her throat. She ate a little, since Tali was watching, but spent more time pushing it around on the plate. Garrus slid into the seat on her right. She'd kissed him, she recalled distantly. It seemed like a long time ago, thought it must have been... she wasn't sure, but not more than one Normandy day cycle.

"I'm sorry about your mother," he said.

She was sorry, too, though she wasn't sure whether she was sorrier about her death or about the wrongs she'd done. "Thank you," she murmured.

"You should actually eat that, though."

She took a few bites, though she had to choke them down.

Williams suddenly appeared across the table from her. "Replicator food is no good for moments like this," she said. "Try this instead."

Liara tore her gaze from the table. Williams was holding something out to her: a bowl, with a vaguely spherical brown object in it, and a spoon. "What is that?" Kaidan had come into the room at some point, too, and took the seat across from Garrus.

"It's ice cream," said Williams. "It's good for emergencies. Romantic trouble, family tragedies, whatever ails you. I thought you could use it."

Liara took the bowl, and cautiously took a taste. It was cold—she'd had too much cold, surely—but it was also very sweet, with some notes of bitter and more complex flavors, and chunks of something chewy. "This isn't standard rations, is it?" she asked.

"Hell no," said Williams. "It's chocolate fudge brownie. I found a shop on the Citadel that stocks Earth imports."

"It's good," Liara admitted, taking another spoonful, and another. It actually tasted like something, and she was touched, somehow, that the soldier was sharing her personal treats. If it had been imported from Earth, it was probably rather expensive. "Thank you." Her eyes were growing wet again, and she blinked rapidly, but couldn't dispel the tears. "I just can't remember the last time mother and I weren't arguing," she burst out, and started crying in earnest. Garrus touched her arm, and she was going to say she was fine, but instead she folded into him and found herself sobbing against his shoulder. Tali patted her other arm, making soothing noises. She wasn't sure how long she was crying, but she couldn't seem to stop.

After a while, she heard Garrus say, sounding alarmed, "Is that healthy? To lose that much moisture?"

Liara snorted and started to giggle, hiccuping through her tears.

Williams said, "Good God, Vakarian. You're even more useless than the average human guy."

"Hey," Kaidan protested, mildly. "Some of us can handle tears."

"I bet 'sensitive dude' works pretty well for you, LT, but most of the guys I've dated just freeze up. Come on, Vakarian, she's just crying. Her mom died. I cried buckets when my dad died, and I'm not ashamed to admit it."

Tali said, "Turians can't cry like we do. She can replenish the fluids by drinking something, Garrus, it'll be fine."

"Yeah, but you were a cop, right? You must have seen crying humans or asari or something sometime."

"I did, but they, uh, didn't keep it up for this long."

Liara lifted her head and wiped her eyes, smearing tears across her cheeks. Tali handed her a napkin, and she patted her face dry. "I'll be all right," she said. "Thank you. I... thank you for being here." She might have been alone on Therum too long. She couldn't help but feel touched, and a little warmed, that her teammates had cared enough to be with her here. They really hadn't known her that long, after all. She looked at each of them in turn: on her left, Tali fidgeted, gazing at her solemnly through her tinted faceplate; across from her, Williams leaned her elbows on the table, twirling the spoon from the empty ice cream bowl; beside Williams, Kaidan offered her a sympathetic half-smile; at her right side, Garrus watched her with twitching mandibles and concerned eyes. She dabbed ineffectually at the wet spot she'd left on his shirt with her napkin. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

She flushed a little as she met his eyes. Abandoning her efforts with the napkin, she looked around the circle again. "It really does mean a lot to me. I know I haven't been with the crew that long, and I... just... thank you." To her surprise, she yawned widely, and felt herself drooping in her chair.

Tali patted her arm. "You should get some sleep. You must be worn out."

"I am," she admitted, still feeling a little surprised. It seemed like a monumental effort to push herself to her feet, but she did it, trying not to sway.

"Hit me up if you need more ice cream tomorrow," said Williams.

"Thank you." She really ought to find a way to repay the woman, Liara reflected as she made her way to the sleeper pods.

* * *

><p>Liara still hadn't quite gotten used to waking up in the pods. She woke up gradually, her eyes swollen and gritty, her mind turning over the conclusion she seemed to have come to while asleep. Yes. She was nervous, but resolved. She knew what she had to do to get through this, to be a better teammate, a more effective... soldier. She'd never thought of herself as such, never aspired to be one of the commandos who formed her mother's bodyguard, but theirs were the skills she needed now. She found Williams at breakfast in the mess.<p>

"Chief Williams?"

"Yeah?" Williams blinked up at her, clutching her mug of coffee. "You can call me Ashley, you know. And have a seat."

Liara sat. "I've been keeping up with my biotics all right, the last few years," she said, "but I don't have more than basic skill with a gun, or hand-to-hand. I was wondering if you would... only if it doesn't interfere with your other duties, of course..."

"You want me to train you?"

"Yes. If you would. I want to be more… useful."

"Yeah. Okay," Ashley said. "I mean..." She shook her head. "Sorry, I'm not good at talking before I've finished my coffee. Don't think you're not useful. Your biotics are really strong, but you may not be able to rely on them all the time. You can probably work with the LT on that, too. We should have started a more intensive training program as soon as you came on board. For Tali, too. When do you want to start?"

"Today," said Liara. "As soon as possible." She was in reasonably good shape, since her work on dig sites involved quite a bit of physical activity... but she also spent a lot of time seated at a terminal doing analysis. She knew she didn't have the strength or endurance of the professional soldiers. But she could get better. She had to get better, to make her mother's sacrifice count, to really contribute to the team's effort. It would be better if she didn't slow anyone down, better if she didn't get into situations where her teammates were injured because she didn't know what she was doing, better if they didn't have to do extra work to protect her.

Ashley committed to the new training sessions with intensity. Liara woke up the morning after the first, and the second, with more aches than she would have thought possible. Tali was inclined to complain, but Liara gritted her teeth and kept at it, and, after a few days, found that the soreness faded. It was just the three of them at first; Ashley would supervise Tali and Liara together, or set one of them to target practice while working one on one with the other. On the third day, Shepard came by to observe. She watched for some time, while Liara tried valiantly to ignore her presence. She had almost managed to forget that the commander was there, when Shepard suddenly was right next to her, correcting her stance, one hand on her shoulder, the other on the opposite hip. "There," said Shepard. "Remember you want to be able to move quickly after you fire, back into cover or taking up another position. In real life, your targets won't always be still, and you shouldn't be, either."

"Right," Liara said, trying not to inch away. Shepard's proximity made her nervous, though she knew it was purely professional. "Thank you, Commander."

Shepard stepped back, to her relief. "You're making progress. This was a good idea, Liara." She moved on to have a word with Tali.

On the fourth day, Kaidan joined them, for biotics training, and to give them a larger and stronger opponent. Each day after that, the routine varied a bit, but Liara grew used to spending several hours a day in the cargo hold, between her sessions analyzing data at her console in the back of the medbay. She sometimes wished there was another space they could use, but it was really the only open area large enough. Shepard stopped by occasionally, offering a few words of praise or demonstrating a technique. After the first time, Liara found she wasn't bothered by Shepard's visits; it was the other observers who made her nervous. The human requisitions officer mostly tended to his own business, but occasionally watched the women sparring, and Liara wasn't so inexperienced that she couldn't read the look on his face. Wrex watched constantly, never saying anything, but with a sort of vast and silent amusement at their efforts. It was a little annoying. Liara wasn't sure how old the krogan was. Probably old enough that the whole group of them seemed like children. He didn't seem to take anyone but Shepard very seriously. Liara did her best to ignore him. Garrus, on the other hand, would greet them all when they came in, and then returned to his own duties, working on the Mako or at his console with apparently single-minded focus. She found herself watching him whenever she had a free moment, idly observing how he stood and moved.

On the tenth day, Liara went up to the mess for a snack after their workout. She was wondering how long it would be before they returned to the Citadel, or somewhere else she could eat something other than meals from the replicator, when Ashley dropped into the seat across from her and leaned forward. "So, you have a thing for Vakarian, huh?"

"What?" Liara nearly jumped out of her seat, turning wide eyes on the woman. "What are you talking about?"

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Come on, Liara. You're always watching him. You can hardly take your eyes off him, ever since Noveria."

Tali, taking her usual seat at Liara's left, said, "I noticed, too."

Liara closed her eyes. "Goddess," she mumbled. She hadn't realized that she'd been so obvious. She hoped, desperately, that he hadn't noticed, as well. He certainly never seemed to be looking in her direction.

Ashley said, "I don't really see the appeal of turians. All hard and spiky. But, you know, tastes differ. I'm not judging."

"They're not all hard," Liara said defensively.

"Oh really now?" She moved her eyebrows up and down, rapidly. "And how do you know?"

"I did have xenobiology classes for ten years as a child," said Liara. The memory of what his skin felt like against her lips floated up, and she squirmed a little. She bit her lip, and then let it out. "And I might have kissed him."

"Really?" Tali turned toward her, resting one elbow on the table. "When?"

"On Noveria, when we were partnered together."

Ashley's eyebrows had gone up and stayed there. "How does that even work?" she asked. "They don't really have lips."

"Well, once I kissed him on the neck." She added defensively, at Ashley's look, "We were supposed to be a couple! It was for our cover."

"Sure, but 'once'? Exactly how many times did you kiss him?"

"… twice. Or, um, three times. Once just on the cheek. That hardly even counts."

"I think it counts," said Tali.

"I agree. And the third time was where?" asked Ashley, grinning.

"… on the mouth."

"And also for your cover?" asked Tali.

"… no." Liara sighed. "I got caught up in the moment." Ashley was still grinning at her, and she was pretty sure that Tali was smirking, too, under her helmet, so she buried her face in her hands.

Ashley said, "So you kissed him on the mouth. And again I ask, how does that work, with no lips?"

Liara dared to raise her head again. "Well, it's not as if he can't move, and... he does have a tongue," she said, and then froze, mortified, as Ashley's eyes widened, and Tali collapsed into giggles. "Wait… I didn't mean…"

"So I gather he wasn't exactly shoving you away," said Tali, still laughing.

Liara sighed. "No." She decided not to mention the part about her dress being unfastened.

"Well, what are you going to do about it?" asked Ashley.

"What?" she said, startled. Somehow it hadn't even occurred to her that she _could_... pursue anything. She'd been preoccupied with Benezia's death and the new training sessions, and Garrus certainly hadn't said anything, except ask kindly how she was doing... "I... I don't know. You... don't think it would be... inappropriate? We do have to work together..."

Ashley rolled her eyes. "How do you think people ever get together? I mean, sure, we have military regs, but neither of you is Alliance, so it doesn't really matter. Look, do you like him?"

Liara looked up and blinked. "I… of course. I like all of you. He's been very nice about the injury, and he's smart, and good at his job…"

Ashley leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. "Not what I'm talking about. Do you _like him_ like him?"

Liara frowned. "What does that mean?"

Tali said, "I think she means, do you like him not just as friend or comrade, but for, you know. Romance."

"That's exactly it, Tali, thank you."

"Oh, Goddess." Liara squirmed in her seat, trying not to think too much about his warmth or the feel of his body against hers. "I don't know. How would one know that sort of thing?"

"Well, let me ask this." Ashley leaned toward her andstared until Liara, reluctantly, met her eyes. "Do you want to kiss him again?"

_Yes_. The memory of the texture and taste of his skin flitted through her mind again, and she suddenly felt warm all over. Her face flamed, and she buried it in her hands. "I think that's answer enough," said Ashley, chuckling. "So why don't you ask him out already?"

Liara looked up, between her fingers. "What?"

"Ask him out? On a date? Asari do that, right?"

"Of course… but… I don't… I mean I've never…"

Tali exclaimed, "You've never dated?" Liara winced that even the quarian, not yet an adult by her own standards, sounded surprised.

"I've dated," she protested. "Just not with any...serious... intent." In truth, she hadn't really dated since she'd been living at home, still young enough to have a curfew. Everything had been very casual, with only the most awkward and hesitant attempts to become more intimate. She'd given up dating entirely when she started at the university, with no real regrets.

"_How_ old are you?" demanded Ash, incredulous.

"One hundred and six. I'm still very young for an asari! And I've spent the last several decades doing research, and excavating Prothean sites on isolated worlds! That doesn't allow a lot of time or opportunity for… for…"

"Are you seriously telling me that in a hundred and six years of life, you've never had sex?"

Liara stacked her arms on the table and rested her head on them, hiding her face completely. "Everyone thinks asari are all free with their affections," she said to the table, "but it's really not true."

There was a silence, and she dreaded thinking of how they must be looking at her. She felt Tali's hand on her elbow. "I'm sorry, Liara. I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, it's just surprising. I, uh... we're not supposed to sync suits with each other until after we've finished our Pilgrimage, but there's a lot of fooling around with nerve stimulators and such. We can't catch anything that way, after all."

"Okay," said Ashley, "we are definitely going to talk about that later, Tali, you sly thing, but that's not the issue now." She put her hand on Liara's arm. "Look, Liara, I have all kinds of respect for the fact that you're doing something with your life other than shaking your ass in some bar, like a lot of your kind do, but come on. My little sister is sixteen, and she's had more boyfriends than you have. You gotta let yourself live a little. Now, I don't know what exactly you see in our spiky friend, but, you know. If you want to get yourself some of that turian action, then you have to actually go after it."

The mere idea made Liara cringe, remembering every date that had ended when she began talking about Protheans or something else equally obscure. But her companions didn't seem to be laughing at her now, so she cautiously lifted her eyes. Ashley actually looked sympathetic, as far as she could tell. "It's been years and years," she said in a small voice, "and back when I did have dates, they often didn't go very well. I don't know what to do."

Ashley said, "You don't have any sisters, do you?" Liara shook her head, mutely. "All right. We'll help you make a plan. Now, there's not a lot of privacy on the ship, so that does make things a little tricky."

"Pff," said Tali. "There's plenty of space. Do you have any idea how many quarians would live on a ship this size?"

"Yeah, but for a first date? I think they need to get off the ship."

They bounced ideas back and forth, weighing the merits of dinner, lunch, shopping trips, holovids, drinks, and Liara gradually sat up straighter. In a lull, she said, "What if he's not even interested?"

"This is why you ask him on a date, to find out," said Ashley.

Tali added, "You said you kissed him, and he kissed you back. He has to be at least a little interested."

"He hasn't said anything about it since then."

"Yeah," Ashley said, "but right after that you mom died. He might be giving you some space. The worst that happens is he says no."

"And then you come find us," said Tali brightly, "and we'll take you out for drinks or something to make you feel better."

She could do this, Liara decided. She would have to, if she didn't want Ashley and Tali to tease her about it forever.


	3. First Date

"Liara's been watching you a lot," observed Kaidan.

From under the Mako, Garrus grunted in acknowledgment. "Hand me that wrench, will you?"

The lieutenant complied. "Haven't you noticed?"

Of course he'd noticed. She hadn't exactly been subtle about it, her eyes drifting toward him every time there was a break in training. Somehow no one ever realized how good his peripheral vision was. It had taken considerable willpower not to stare back. He _had_ considerable willpower, though. No matter what his superiors said, he wasn't, in fact, completely lacking in discipline. "Sure."

"Are you going to say anything to her?"

"Wasn't really planning on it."

"Why not? She seems interested."

Garrus wasn't so sure. She'd kissed him—the first time anyone had (and the second, and the third...). He recognized the gesture of affection well enough, even though his previous experience had been exclusively with other turians. The first kiss, just for their cover, that was obvious enough. The second time, also for concealment, though somehow she'd touched him in a way he couldn't help but react to. She'd apologized, after, and looked embarrassed, so he'd thought that she hadn't really meant anything by it.

The third kiss was the one that really confounded him. There wasn't anyone to see, except the two of them, and she'd leaned into him, her dress open, revealing a lot of soft, warm blue skin and enticing curves. Turians might not have those particular anatomical features, but he knew that it was an _intimate_ area, usually covered on human women and asari... unless it was deliberately displayed. He'd kissed her back to the best of his ability, but afterwards, she'd covered up quickly, seeming uncomfortable again. He could only conclude that he was the one making her uncomfortable, so he'd let her be. He couldn't quite make out whether she was teasing him, or just acting impulsively, or whether she even really knew what she wanted. So he was trying rather hard to suppress his own curiosity about how those curves might feel under his hands.

"Well?" Kaidan prompted.

Garrus rolled out from under the tank and shot him a look. "I'm trying to focus on the mission here, Alenko."

"Don't you like her? I'm not sure what to make of her, myself. She must be very intelligent, but she seems a little, um, naive, considering her age."

Garrus considered. He mostly thought of her as a civilian, inexperienced with stress and violence, though he supposed there might be other background factors at work. "Sometimes asari throw themselves into one thing and do that for years, and don't pay much attention to anything else. You can do that when you have the luxury of a long life, I guess. She's really working hard on her combat skills now." Since her mother's death. After that first night, she'd thrown herself into training, keeping up with the regimen Williams had devised without complaint. She even seemed to be putting in extra time with the exercise equipment. Brave and admirable, in his opinion.

"Yeah, she is. She's a strong biotic, too. And easy on the eyes."

Garrus made a noncommittal noise. He'd never been that attracted to asari in general, though he recognized that she had the sort of build and features that were generally considered attractive. It wasn't until she was pressing that slim, soft body into him and looking up at him with an odd sort of wonder that he'd actually become _personally_ attracted. And he was trying to forget, but it was awfully difficult when she kept looking at him with those wide blue eyes and occasionally biting her soft lips. "Can we get back to fixing this damn machine?"

Kaidan snorted. "I thought so. You do like her."

Garrus looked at him skeptically. "You're just hoping I'll distract her so you can go after the Commander without interference."

Kaidan's face darkened a bit. "There's nothing going on between the Commander and me."

Garrus noted the other man's elevated heartrate and slightly dilated pupils with amusement."If you say so," he said, sliding back under the vehicle.

* * *

><p>Liara had been to the lower deck dozens of times. There was no need to be nervous.<p>

At breakfast, Ashley had told her, "Ask him today."

"Today?" Liara felt a little panicky. "Why today?"

"Because we're going to dock at the Citadel in a few hours. Shepard will give us leave. You can go get lunch, like we talked about. Daytime, low-key, low-pressure."

Tali put in, "I found a list of lunch places on the Citadel that serve both levo and dextro food. I sorted by customer ranking, price, and location. It should be easy to pick one."

Her omni-tool pinged as Tali sent her the list. Liara brought it up and was startled by the number of options. She shouldn't have been, considering the size of the Citadel, but she hadn't been there in a long time. They'd made a brief stop just after she first joined the Normandy crew, but it hadn't really been long enough for the crew to take leave. She bit her lip. "Why can't I do it tomorrow?"

"Because we'll have leave today," said Ashley firmly. "And he knows people here, so he'll probably be meeting friends later on. Come on, Liara. You can do this."

She finally agreed.

So now she screwed up her courage and marched confidently through the medbay. Dr. Chakwas had already left, she noticed. She nodded to Kaidan, who waved distractedly, as she went over to the elevator and pressed the down button. While she waited, she heard a door open and shut, and then heard Shepard's voice.

"So, Lieutenant. You have a few hours' liberty. What are you planning to do with it?"

"I hadn't really thought much about it, ma'am. What will you be doing?"

Shepard chuckled. "Oh, I have a full slate of meetings set up, with Anderson and Udina and God knows who else. There might be a news interview or two in there, too. I'm booked just about all day, I'm afraid."

"Is anyone accompanying you?"

"What, you don't think I'll be safe alone?" Shepard said, laughing.

Kaidan said hastily, "Uh, no, ma'am, not at all. I mean, of course you can take care of yourself. I just thought you might want moral support."

"Are you concerned about my morals, Kaidan?" The teasing note, so unlike Shepard's usual businesslike demeanor, made Liara want to hide, or stop up her ears. She pushed the button again. What was taking the stupid elevator so long?

"Ah... no, ma'am."

"Nah, I think I can handle the suits. You really need to relax, though. Take some time off. Maybe we can meet up for drinks when I'm done with the grind."

"I'd like that."

The elevator doors finally opened, and Liara stepped in, punching the button for the lower level quickly. When she'd first come aboard, Shepard had spent a lot of time talking to her. She now realized that was because Shepard took time to get to know all her crew, and perhaps also because she was making an assessment of Liara's loyalties. But at the time, she'd taken it differently; Shepard listened so well while she went on about the Protheans, and asked questions about her work and her family and asari generally. She'd been so overcome by the attention, by the pleasure of intelligent company, by her fascination with Shepard's Prothean connections… that she'd allowed herself to assume Shepard's interest was personal. Shepard had quietly rebuffed her own awkward attempts to get closer. Liara had wondered whether there was anyone else, but Shepard had said, firmly, that that was private. And she was right; it was none of Liara's business.

Having her suspicions confirmed stung, though. She couldn't even dislike Kaidan, really. He was intelligent and even-tempered and thoroughly decent. They'd helped each other a lot with biotics training—they'd both picked up some new techniques—and she respected his skill and ability. She sighed. Maybe Shepard had been interested in him before Liara even came aboard. Or maybe Liara had said or done something wrong. Or maybe Shepard simply wasn't interested. Liara sighed, disconsolate. For a moment, she wanted to go back up to deck three, hide herself away at her console, and crunch data for the next three days. She could get so much done without distractions. She might be better off putting the vexing problem of _relationships_ to the side, as she'd done for years and years.

But she'd promised Ashley she would try, today. Besides, Kaidan was on deck three, and she might have to see him if she went back up. Or she might see Shepard, which would be even worse. She sighed again and tried to gather up her courage. Lunch. That was all. Nothing to be worried about.

The lower deck appeared empty when Liara stepped out, and she frowned. She wasn't too surprised that Wrex had already taken his leave, and most of the human crew had already left as well, but she'd thought Garrus was still on board. She ventured further in, looking around, but still saw no one. She thought that perhaps she'd missed him after all, until she heard a low-pitched curse in turian, and looked down.

She was perilously close to stepping on him, in fact. From the chest up, he was hidden under the Mako. She took a moment to look over what she could see: the slim waist, square hips, long legs bent at the knee, to keep his spurs off the ground. She caught herself staring perhaps a little too long. She looked around guiltily, but the rest of the hold was empty. She imagined Ashley at her usual work station, giving her a stern look, and said, "You're still working?"

There was a clang and another curse. Garrus said, "Spirits, Liara. Don't sneak up on me like that."

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to."

"It's all right. You just startled me." He rolled out from under the vehicle, rubbing his forehead, streaked with grease. "Do you need something?"

"I, um." Words deserted her. "Are you… do you have plans for our leave today?"

"I'm trying to finish something up first, but yeah, I'm meeting some friends for drinks tonight. I'll head out in a bit."

"I thought I would find lunch on the Citadel," she said. "There's a café on Tayseri Ward that's supposed to be good."

"It's a big place. It shouldn't be too hard to find somewhere with better food than the Normandy." One mandible flicked out, in a slightly questioning expression.

Oh, drat. She'd forgotten her carefully prepared introduction, so she'd left out the important part. "I mean, it's a mixed-cuisine café, and I was wondering if you would… um, join me." She looked down at her own hands, fingers twisting together, and steeled herself, almost holding her breath.

"Sure," said Garrus, uttering the one answer she hadn't prepared herself for. She looked up, startled, and he flashed a sharp-pointed smile. She smiled back, shyly. "Just let me get cleaned up, and I'll met you at the airlock."

* * *

><p>The café was bright and airy, decorated with paintings of natural landscapes from an assortment of planets. Liara's eye was drawn to one depicting a scene from Thessia, a lake shimmering green-blue, surrounded by snowy peaks. She felt a little pang; she hadn't been back to Thessia for a long time.<p>

"I think I've been here before, actually," remarked Garrus, drawing her attention back to the table. He looked up at her over the menu. "I remember the food being very good. Nice choice."

"Thank you." It had really been Tali's recommendation, based on whatever complicated algorithm she'd used to combine rating, locale, and price. "I got a bit of good news, so it's my treat."

"Oh? What good news?"

She'd only discovered it while checking her accounts before leaving the ship. "Benezia's accounts were frozen because of the, um… charges." The treason charges, to be specific, but she didn't feel comfortable mentioning that in a public place.

Garrus nodded. "I think there's an ongoing investigation of her and… her associate's financial arrangements."

"Yes. But she had some funds set aside in a trust for me. They've been there since I was born, and don't appear connected to any of her other finances. Shepard said she'd try to get those freed up for me, and she must have come through. Which is fortunate, because Prothean research doesn't really pay very well." Particularly once she'd exhausted her fellowship funding and kept working, fuelled mostly by her own conviction that she was on to something that no one else was taking seriously.

"Shepard always seems to come through."

"She's very generous."

A salarian waiter came by and took their orders. Feeling a little nostalgic, Liara ordered a glass of sparkling wine from Thessia with lunch. It came almost immediately, and she sipped the cold, bubbly liquid, enjoying the fruity flavor. "I couldn't believe how much she was talking to me from the first."

"I know. She's asked me all sorts of questions, too. C-Sec really isn't that interesting, but Shepard seems to want to know everything."

"She's asked me a lot about my research. I mean, of course she has, she needs to know about the Protheans, but she also asked a lot about asari culture generally. Our family relationships, and that sort of thing. It was very confusing at first." She took another swallow. "I got... I suppose I came away with rather the wrong idea. I thought she might be interested in me personally, and Shepard herself is so fascinating that I got a little caught up." Another drink, and she thought Garrus was giving her an odd look. "Not that I'm still—she's made very clear she's not—" She searched desperately for a change of topic. "Um, is it strange being back on the Citadel?"

He sat back in the chair. "A little. It's somewhat pleasant, though. The ground is familiar, but it's nice knowing I'm not obligated to enforce the law. Very freeing."

She smiled. "You don't like enforcing the law?"

"I like it when it matters. Writing people citations for violating petty little Citadel regulations was never my favorite duty. I got promoted into investigations fairly quickly, but that has its own set of problems. C-Sec is so much in the public eye that the higher-ups are afraid of angering anyone, and we get bogged down in procedure as a result. I'm really just as glad to be out of there." He gave her a half-smile. "Is it strange for you being here? How long were you on Therum?"

"Years. It is a little strange having so many people around," she admitted. "I got used to being on my own. I would just work for hours, until I lost track of the time. Living on a more regular schedule also feels a little odd."

He hesitated. "If you'd rather not talk about it, I'd completely understand, but I was wondering how you're doing, since..."

"Since my mother's death?" Liara finished her wine and gazed for a moment at the painting of Thessia. "I'm... all right, I think. It's difficult reconciling the mother I remember from my childhood with what she'd become. I don't know how far back Saren's influence extended. I am trying to hold on to my memories of what she was like when I was younger. We fought a lot as I grew up. I am her only child; I suppose it must have been difficult for her when I became more independent. She had strong ideas about the place of asari in the galaxy, and I did not always do as she wished."

"Mm. I can understand that. Do you... is your father living?"

Liara sighed. "I don't know. I never knew who Benezia's bondmate was, except that she was also asari. It's... not a very common pairing, these days. I don't know why she left." She looked down at the table, trying to shake the conviction she'd always had that it was because of her, somehow. She looked up when Garrus moved, reaching halfway across the table toward her, and put on a smile. "Tell me about your family?"

"Sometimes it seems that I have a bit too much family. Or perhaps just too strong-willed." He smiled, and added hastily, "I shouldn't complain, I know. My father's just always been very firm about what I ought to do in life, and my sister's almost as free with her opinion. Only my mother seems to be able to wait until I'm actually asking for advice."

Their orders came while he was telling her about his father's pushing him into C-Sec. Liara briefly envied him those ties: two parents, siblings, a large extended family as well. Then she remembered how much she'd chafed at Benezia's admonitions, and the envy didn't last. They settled in to enjoy their meals. The cafe's version of asari cuisine was not quite the way her mother had made it, but it was good, and the ingredients were fresh. Garrus seemed to be relishing his, too. "How's your lunch?" she asked.

"Good. They do Palaveni food well here. Although anything would be better than what's served on the Normandy. The dextro replicator function is rather... rudimentary."

"Did you ask Shepard about improving it? I'm sure she'd improve it if she could."

"She had to make special arrangements to have it installed in the first place. But I swear, some days I'd happily share Tali's nutrient paste."

They exchanged stories about their pasts for a while, the talk eventually turning toward their crewmates.

"Williams keeps looking at me as if I'm stealing Alliance secrets. There's not a thing about the Mako that's classified."

"Hm," said Liara. "She's been rather friendly to me."

"She's actually warmed up to me since you came along." He shrugged. "A lot of humans are suspicious of turians, I suppose. It's just frustrating in a teammate."

Liara nodded, contemplating her empty plate. "Lieutenant Alenko doesn't seem to feel the same way."

"No, Alenko's all right."

She toyed with her fork. "Do you know him well? I don't think I've talked to him much outside of training."

Garrus shrugged. "Well enough, I suppose. We end up working together on some of the tech problems."

She spun the fork around in her fingers, watching how the light reflected off it. "He and Shepard seem... close."

"I wouldn't really know." His head was tilted slightly to the side, and his expression seemed less relaxed. Liara shook off the memory of Shepard's teasing tone to re-orient herself in the present.

"Sorry." She tried to come up with another subject. The waiter saved her by bringing the bill. As she paid, she remembered the other reason she'd chosen this cafe. "I haven't spent much time on the Citadel in years. Is there still a garden on this ward?"

"Yes, it's just a couple of levels down. Would you like to visit?"

"If you don't mind... we could take a walk without anyone shooting at us."

"Sure. Although, really, what fun is that?" Garrus grinned.

Liara smiled back. This, too, had been part of the plan. "Lunch," Ashley had said. "Then see if you can find something fun to do afterwards. See a vid, take a walk, go to a concert, anything." Tali had offered a list of attractions, but this spot she'd remembered herself. It wasn't far from the cafe at all, just a short trip down a couple of flights and past the Dilinaga Concert Hall. The garden plots, separated by curving pathways, made a showcase for the flora of several different planets. Garrus proved surprisingly knowledgeable about Palaven's flowers.

"My mother's an avid gardener," he said when she asked. "I used to help her when I was young, before I started military service."

"That's sweet." Liara sighed as they approached the center of the garden, where a Prothean monument held the eye, surrounded by a guard rail. Probably less visible and more effective security measures, too. "I remember Benezia brought me here, when I was young. This is one of the first works of Prothean art I ever saw."

"Hmm." Garrus looked up at the three-meter-tall sculpture. "Impressive. Is it just me, or is it oddly melancholy, too? Do you know anything about it?"

"There are a number of interpretations, but no consensus among experts. It is one of the more abstract Prothean works. If they were anything like us, it could mean almost anything. I agree with you, I've always found it sad, too. Given their fate, it seems even sadder to me now." She couldn't help remembering what she'd seen in Shepard's mind, and flinched. "Shepard's visions are so... intense. I suppose it's not a surprise that I should be drawn to her. She has this direct experience of Prothean culture that I've always dreamed of."

The resulting silence felt stiff. Garrus said, carefully, "Liara, I've noticed that you've brought up Shepard several times..."

"I'm not obsessed with the Commander!" she exclaimed, and winced at the strained tone in her voice.

"I... all right, then. It just seems as though you still have strong feelings for her."

She bit her lip. She'd thought she was moving on, but maybe he was right. And she really _had_ chattered on about Shepard... She was trying to think of how to apologize when he continued, "I'm sorry you're in a difficult spot, Liara, but... it's hard not to think that I was your second choice for today's outing."

Her face heated. "Oh, no! That's not true at all... I'm sorry..."

He didn't really wait for her reply. "Look, I'd just rather not get entangled in whatever romance drama is going on between you and Shepard and Alenko. So if you'll excuse me, I should probably make sure no one's broken into my apartment in the last month."

She mumbled some kind of farewell, she wasn't even sure what. It didn't take him long to disappear around a bend in the path. Liara slowly sank down, cross-legged on the ground, and stared up at the Prothean monument for a long time.

* * *

><p>"Oh, honey," said Ashley, hearing the story.<p>

"I know," Liara said gloomily, staring at her glass. Ashley had ordered her some cocktail that was glowing purple in the dim light of Flux. Liara didn't even know what was in it.

"I mean, I know you were making those wistful puppy eyes at Shepard for a while, but I thought you'd gotten over it."

"Wistful... puppy eyes?" Liara frowned, puzzled.

"I didn't know!" exclaimed Tali. "How did I miss that?"

"It was a short phase," said Ashley. "It ended a bit before we landed on Noveria, and then she started making the eyes at Vakarian. I think you were spending most of your time down in engineering with the nerds."

Liara drank and wrinkled her nose. It was almost too sweet, except for the burn of strong alcohol beneath the sweet. Tali patted her arm. "Don't worry, Liara. We'll find you someone else. Maybe tonight! Hmm..." She looked around, apparently sizing up the club's clientele.

"I don't know how I managed to mess that up so badly," Liara sighed.

"Uh, by talking too much about your #1 crush object to your #2 crush object?" Ashley finished her own drink and waved to the waitress.

"He's not... number two. Whatever a 'crush object' is, which I think I can guess." Liara watched a trio of asari gyrating on the dance floor. There was a time when Benezia had insisted she study traditional asari dance forms. She hadn't been good at it, and she'd avoided all kinds of dancing since.

"Are you sure? I mean, if you had to pick someone as a substitute for Shepard... okay, I'm not sure who'd be the closest match physically. For personality and skill set, though, Vakarian isn't too far off, I'll admit it."

Liara slumped in her seat. The way Ashley put it, her behavior sounded... cold. She didn't want to think of herself as someone who used people like that. If that's what Garrus thought she was doing, she couldn't blame him a bit for walking away. "I'm not looking for a substitute for Shepard."

"Really?" Tali asked. "Because if you are, there's a human over there who kind of looks like her."

"Huh. She's got on way more makeup than Shepard wears, but you're right. Good eye, Tali. What do you think, Liara? You could go ask her out. Get it out of your system."

"No!" The human in question was drinking at the end of the bar, and seemed innocuous enough, but Liara cringed at the thought of walking up to a complete stranger that way. Besides, she really didn't find her at all attractive.

"Or you could go try to nail that turian over there." Ashley tilted her head toward a turian in blue who was watching the dancers.

"He doesn't look very much like Garrus at all," Liara mumbled.

"Yeah, maybe not. I've always had trouble telling turians apart."

Tali made a clicking noise. "The facial markings are really completely different."

"I think you can see more of his face than I can. Oh, look at that!"

One of the asari from the dance floor was approaching the turian. She laid a hand on his chest and slid the other up the back of his neck. He leaned their foreheads together, and then started nuzzling at her neck and shoulder. Liara felt her face growing hot and knew she must be blushing wildly. She could imagine all too well how that would feel, couldn't help putting herself in the asari's place and wondering if all turians liked it when you rubbed under the fringe like that...

Ashley, observing, said, "Sheesh, get a room." She turned to Liara and raised an eyebrow. "Oh ho. Look at you. Maybe you really do like him."

Liara slumped further. "I can't believe I was so incredibly rude and thoughtless." She thought about it and added, "I think it's that I heard Shepard and Kaidan talking earlier today."

"Uh-oh. I don't need to hear this," said Ashley.

Tali asked, "Why not?"

"Because them getting involved is breaking Alliance regs, and if I don't know anything I'm under no obligation to report anything."

"Cover your ears then, because I want to know."

Liara shook her head impatiently. "It was nothing that interesting. It was all in her tone of voice. It was just on my mind, I think."

They drank in silence for a bit. Or rather, Ashley and Tali drank, and Liara tried not to stare at the asari who was getting increasingly enthusiastic about snuggling with her turian friend in public.

Finally, Ashley said, "You need to go talk to Vakarian."

"Ooh!" said Tali. "I can find out where his apartment is. You can go there right now."

"What in the Goddess's name am I supposed to say?"

"Start with an apology?"

"I already apologized."

"Do it again. And if you're sure he's the one you're really interested in, tell him that."

"He won't believe me."

"He will if you do _that_ to him," Ashley said, watching the asari wriggle on her companion's lap.

Liara closed her eyes. "I haven't the faintest idea how she's even doing that without falling off. I'd be sure to mess it up."

Tali said, "Got it! Do you want his address?"

"No! I'll talk to him, I will, just... give me some time to figure things out."

Ashley snorted. "You'd better."


	4. One Night on Nepmos

_This chapter was growing unwieldy, so I divided it into two. Shorter one for now, but the next one should be up, mm, probably tomorrow. Thanks to Smehur for sending some comments that helped clarify my thoughts about what needed to happen next._

* * *

><p>Liara knew she needed to talk to Garrus, and yet she kept putting it off.<p>

She had her reasons. She was trying her best to sort out her feelings. She couldn't quite shake the guilty feeling that maybe Garrus was right, that she had fixed her attentions on him because Shepard had rebuffed her. But it was Garrus that she couldn't stop thinking about. She remembered, with a flash of shame, how easy and comfortable it had been to talk to him, when she wasn't putting her foot in it by babbling about Shepard and the visions, and how irritated he'd looked when she _was_. She couldn't stop remembering that impulsive kiss, and sometimes her imagination took things a little further, so she wondered what his hands would feel like on her skin, or how he'd respond if she unfastened his shirt and ran her fingers over his chest. She'd never really thought about Shepard in such a way, not even when she'd first been flattered and confused by the commander's talks with her. That had been, she now thought, a passing infatuation, or misplaced interest in her Prothean experiences. When she thought about Garrus, she felt... something else.

Or maybe she was just being immature, like a child who'd been denied a toy and now insisted that _that one_ was her favorite. So she was avoiding him while she tried to sort things out. It was next to impossible on a ship the size of the Normandy, though. They had to speak to each other, from time to time, in the course of regular briefings and other ship business. When they did, he was brief and polite, and she did her best not to stammer and blush. She tried to get her meals when he wasn't in the mess, but that was difficult because he didn't keep a very regular schedule. She had to go down to the cargo hold for training sessions every day, as usual, but she tried to keep her eyes away from him. He was often hidden under or behind the Mako, which made it a little easier, but she still felt tense whenever she knew he was there.

The worst of it was that she knew time was going by, that her window of opportunity for pursuing something with him might be sliding shut. It was hard, sometimes, being surrounded by shorter-lived species, who didn't have the leisure of taking time to think through all the options, and harder when she'd trained herself, through her studies and research, to deliberate, to think carefully about outcomes and ramifications. It wasn't a habit that lent itself well to interacting with others. Most of all, she hated the sense that she'd treated him badly, and maybe hurt his feelings, even without meaning to. That was what made her feel tense every time they were in the same room.

Well, that and her overheated imagination.

Her consolation was that Shepard was calling her out for missions more often. It wasn't that the missions themselves were always particularly rewarding. There was, for example, the time she spent an entire day chasing pyjaks with Shepard and Kaidan and Ashley, looking for the one which had stolen a data module. Shepard had accidentally run over one of the creatures with the Mako ("Oops," she'd said), and they'd then concluded that they actually needed to search the pyjak colonies by hand if they wanted to retrieve the module intact, but it was hard to keep track of them when they kept moving around. That day had ended with a brief firefight with geth, but had still felt like a lot of wasted time. Nonetheless, Liara took some pride in being worthy of the commander's trust. It was a sign that the time and effort she'd been putting into training was paying off. She _had_ felt effective when she, Ashley, and Shepard boarded an apparently derelict ship, only to find that one of the crew had lost her mind and killed her crewmates. The woman was a strong biotic, but Liara had found herself able to counter her attacks, thanks to her recent practice with Kaidan. "Insane with grief," Shepard had muttered as they turned off the life support for the woman's unfortunately brain-dead partner. "Williams, shoot me if I ever get that besotted with anyone, will you?" Ashley had snorted, replying, "You got it, Skipper."

Liara knew Shepard changed up the ground teams regularly, to see how different individuals worked together. So it shouldn't have come as a surprise when she got to the Mako one day, fully armored and ready, as instructed, to find Garrus and Shepard already there. It shouldn't have surprised her, but it did; she hesitated for a fraction of a second before climbing in. She nodded stiffly to Garrus, who inclined his head in response, and buckled herself into a seat that was not next to the turian. "Where are we bound, Commander?" she asked.

From the driver's seat, Shepard said, "Planet's called Nepmos. There's an Alliance listening post that appears to be in a spot of trouble."

They came rocketing up to the outpost in Shepard's usual pell-mell driving style, to find only a handful of human marines holding a thin defensive perimeter. Shepard spoke briefly with the lieutenant in charge, interrupted when one of the other humans called out that another wave was coming. Taking her place at the barricade, Liara recognized them at once.

_Rachni_. She remembered the hiss of acid and the crunch of snow beneath her boot, and her chest tightened. She flung one oncoming creature away and shot at another. Behind the barrier, they were relatively safe from the acid, and she continued to alternate biotics and pistol fire.

She wasn't fully aware that Garrus was in position next to her until they killed the last of them, and he demanded, "What are those things?"

Liara said, "Rachni." Her heart was still pounding. She remembered the thrashing of the rachni queen as she'd died, and swallowed, trying to calm herself.

Shepard, joining them, added, "That's right, you weren't at Peak 15. Lieutenant Durand says they've been fighting off waves of them for a while. We should expect more shortly. Do whatever you need to get yourselves ready."

Garrus nodded. As Shepard moved off to confer with the human officer, he glanced at Liara and lightly touched her shoulder. "Hey. Are you all right?"

Liara blinked and glanced up at him. Surely his touch shouldn't feel warm through his gauntlet and her amor. "I'm... I'll be fine. I may have overdone the biotics a little."

"Alenko keeps energy bars in the Mako. Come on."

She trailed after Garrus to the vehicle and dug out a snack from the supplies inside while Garrus paced around. A moment later, he called, "Shepard, if we use the Mako as a generator we can get their defense towers online."

Shepard strode over. "Is that going to drain the power cells too far?"

"Not unless we're stuck down here for ten or twelve hours."

"Then do it. We could use the firepower." She headed back to the marines.

"Do you need any help?" asked Liara cautiously.

"Another pair of hands can't hurt."

He didn't really seem to need much assistance, manipulating the connections with skill and ease. Liara held on to various tools and cables at his direction. It was oddly pleasurable to watch the deft, efficient movements of his hands. She was almost disappointed when he finished, and the defense towers hummed to life.

They returned to the barricade. It wasn't long until they heard a subtle screeching and the scuttling of insectile limbs. Liara lost track of time, concentrating on one target after another. She tried to be more mindful of her biotic use, relying more on her pistol and paying more attention to what her companions were doing. Garrus had once again taken up a position next to her. The steady crack of his rifle and Shepard's, further down the line, helped keep her grounded.

Still, by the time the last rachni fell, her arms were cramping and she felt shaky. She stretched and had another energy bar while Shepard conferred with the other marines. The commander came over to Liara and Garrus a few minutes later. "They think the rachni are coming from a subterranean area up ahead. They do like to hide in holes, don't they, Liara?"

Liara flinched, remembering how they tended to pop out of walls and ceilings. "They certainly do."

"So we're going to drive over and take care of it."

Garrus asked, "Are the marines going to be all right without us here?"

"They say it's generally been an hour or two between big waves. If we deal with the problem at the source, that should take care of it. I'd love to know just how the rachni got here, though."

"Someone at Binary Helix must have shipped specimens elsewhere," Liara ventured. "Eggs, probably."

Shepard nodded. "Yes. The question is who. And whether they sent specimens anywhere else. But we'll deal with that later."

It didn't take them long to reach the site: an abandoned mine. "Why am I not surprised?" Shepard sighed. "Keep your eyes open. Go slow. They like to hide."

Up to their ankles in water, the team couldn't see the holes the mine was riddled with until they were practically on top of them, the rachni erupting out, hissing and spitting. They had to work their way through the main cavern slowly and carefully. Still, by the time they'd reached the back, everyone's armor was scored with acid, they'd used a good deal of their medigel on acid burns and wounds from the creatures' bites, and Liara was a bundle of nerves. That may have been why she reacted so quickly when Shepard opened the back tunnel, and a rachni bigger than any they'd seen yet hurtled out. Liara immediately launched a stasis field and fired, backpedalling. The rachni screeched and flung up a barrier—it had _biotics_, Goddess knew that couldn't be good—Shepard went flying to the side, though Liara thought she heard rifle fire coming from both sides. She warped the rachni's barrier as fast as she could, still firing, dodging its spit, moving backwards. When its huge carapace collapsed to the floor, her pistol was overheating in her hands. Liara stopped moving, trying to catch her breath, and realized that she was the only one standing. She hadn't even seen her companions fall—to the acid, or the creature's giant limbs, or...? She looked around and saw Garrus lying in a heap not far from her. She scrambled to his side, administering a dose of medigel. She fretted for a moment; she wasn't experienced enough in medicine to handle anything more than the basics in the field...

He groaned and sat up after a moment. "Well, I can see why they were the scourge of the galaxy," he grumbled, and frowned. "Where's Shepard?"

Only then did Liara realize that she didn't know. More than that, she should have checked on Shepard first; she was the commander, after all, the Spectre, the most important of them. She flushed and jumped to her feet. Fortunately, Shepard was already stirring. Liara hastened over.

"Commander— are you all right? I'm sorry..."

Shepard hauled herself to her feet with a grimace. "Nah, I'm okay, Liara. Damn, that one hit hard, though." She retrieved the assault rifle she'd dropped and prodded the fallen rachni cautiously with a booted foot. "Bigger than the others," she noted. "I wonder if we're getting to the core of their territory." She looked around. "You holding up all right, Garrus?"

He was on his feet now, Liara noted. She felt both relieved and guilty. "Ready when you are, Shepard," he said.

"All right, people, one more passage. Let's just assume there's another one of those, shall we?"

There was, but this time the three of them were ready for it, and it fell much more quickly.

As they drove back to the human outpost, Liara scrunched into her seat, aware that Garrus kept looking at her sharply. She reached into the bag of supplies again to distract herself. Once they reached the outpost, Shepard called the Normandy for pick up and hopped out to check in with the marines, leaving the two of them alone in the vehicle. As soon as the hatch shut, Garrus said, as if he'd been waiting for the moment, "Liara, you really should have treated Shepard first. She's the only one of us who's really indispensable to the mission—"

Liara cut him off. "I know. You don't need to tell me. It was fine. She's all right."

"That may be the case this time, but next time—"

"I know!" She dug her fingers into the seat on either side of her, staring at the floor ahead of her. "I just wasn't thinking about it. I'll be more careful if... if something like this happens again."

She felt pressure, his hand over hers on the seat between them. Startled, she turned toward him, to find him leaning toward her, blue eyes intent in the dim vehicle. "You treated me first, and then you were just waiting while I came around. Why?"

Liara swallowed. "I..." Because she'd been worried about him, and she hadn't been thinking about Shepard or the mission. It had been irresponsible of her; what was he going to think of that? "... I wasn't really thinking at all. I just reacted." She couldn't look away from his eyes, which fixed on her as if she was the only thing that existed. Their mutual gaze seemed almost tangible in the dark, and his hand felt heavy over hers. Her breath was coming a little short. Her voice came out strained as she said, "I... this is awkward. I should apologize about, about lunch the other day."

"There's no need, really," he said, softly.

"But there is. I was rude, and I didn't mean to be, but that isn't any excuse—"

"Liara, really, it's fine. I'm not upset or offended."

She flinched at that. Maybe it hadn't mattered to him at all whether she felt anything about him, and that thought stung. "Well... all right, then..." She looked down and started to pull her hand away.

His hold on it tightened. She looked up at him, startled. "Just... disappointed, maybe. On Noveria, I'd thought maybe there was something between us, but..." he hesitated, "... that was an odd situation, and then your mother... There's a lot to deal with. If you're not really interested, my ego can handle it."

Her heart was hammering in her chest, and her stomach felt tight. "But I am. Interested, I mean. I just..." She left it there, afraid that if she tried to say something more, she'd say the wrong thing. Goddess knew she'd said enough wrong things already.

Garrus leaned a little further toward her and his mandibles shifted into a smile. "Yeah. Me too. Look..."

The hatch popped open, and Shepard stepped in. "Normandy's here. You two go check in with Chakwas and then we'll debrief." She eased into the driver's seat to drive the vehicle back into the hold.

Garrus tapped Liara's hand and released it. "Let's talk tomorrow," he said quietly. Liara nodded, exhaustion warring with excitement, that... something... might be possible, after all.

Shepard was punctilious about certain things: all returning ground teams got a medical checkup, cleaned up, and debriefed, no matter how late they got back to the ship. Somewhere during that process, the exhaustion took over. Liara had to stop herself from yawning her way through the debriefing, and Garrus didn't look much better. Once Shepard had dismissed them, Liara was grateful for the chance to fall into her sleeper pod. _Tomorrow_ was her last thought before falling into a deep, dreamless sleep.


	5. Omnitool

Liara woke a little later than usual in the morning, dressed, and frowned when she attempted to activate her omni-tool. It popped up a cryptic error message. She tried the few tricks she knew, and then went in search of Tali. She found the quarian in the mess, whispering with Ashley, who departed just as Liara sat down. "Tali, my omni-tool's malfunctioning. Can you take a look at it?"

"Sorry, Liara, I can't help you," Tali said, starting to get up.

Liara's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean? I thought you could fix anything."

Tali fidgeted. "Of course I can! But I have a big project to work on for Engineer Adams. I wish I could help you, but I don't have time."

Liara sighed. "All right. I'll... see you later?" She trailed off, since Tali was already heading toward the elevator, nearly running, in fact. She sat for a moment, absorbing the fact that both Ashley and Tali seemed to be avoiding her this morning. For a while, they had been needling her about talking to Garrus every day. Then Tali had seemed to give up, and Ashley had confined her nagging to significant looks. Even that had ended a day or two ago. Liara's lips tightened. They were up to something, and she should have realized it when they stopped bothering her.

She decided to test her hypothesis. When she'd finished breakfast, she approached Kaidan, already working at his station. "Kaidan, could you take a look at my omni-tool?"

He didn't look up from his work. "No."

That was really all she needed to know, but she inquired anyway, irritation making her voice sharp. "May I ask why not?"

Kaidan straightened up and sighed. "Look, I had this whole song and dance prepared about how I couldn't do it, but the truth is, Williams made me promise that I wouldn't help you. I'm not going to cross her unless it's absolutely necessary."

"You're a superior officer," Liara pointed out. "And a biotic."

He crossed his arms and looked at her. He was harder to read than the average human, and she couldn't tell what he was thinking. "Honestly, Liara... I kind of agree with her."

Her irritation settled into outright anger. She took a step closer. "What exactly did she say to you?" she hissed.

He held up his hands. "She just said you needed to talk to Garrus. I don't know what's going on between you and him, and I don't particularly want to know. It's none of my business. But I think you need to clear the air, at least so you can work together. You can ask around if you want, but I think she has all the techs thoroughly intimidated."

Her hands closed into fists. "We _can_ work together. Did you ever think that perhaps I was dealing with the matter at my own pace? And if it's none of your business, why are you interfering?"

"I told you, Williams made me promise."

Liara turned on her heel and walked off, fuming. She'd thought of Ashley as a friend, and here she was, not just interfering in Liara's personal affairs, but talking about them all over the ship. She headed for the elevator, not quite sure whether she wanted to have the promised conversation with Garrus, or tell Ashley what she thought about her meddling.

Both of those thoughts went to the wayside when she stepped out of the elevator and found that Wrex greeted her with a broad, calculating grin. She usually avoided the krogan, but that grin was more than she could take. She moved toward him, footsteps rapid and loud on the metal floor. "What's so funny?" she snapped.

The hulking battlemaster kept smirking at her. "I'm about to win a bet. You showed up before Williams thought you would."

She was just conscious of Ashley in her peripheral vision, but she kept her eyes on Wrex. "You had a bet on this?"

"You'd save us all some trouble if you'd just mate with the turian already."

Liara flared, the air around her sparking blue. It was such an obnoxious thing to say: so rude, so vulgar, so typically _krogan_. "Why? Do you have a bet about that, too, Wrex?"

She felt his biotics charging up too, as his smile evaporated. "I'd like to see you try anything, asari."

She held his stare, calculating. He weighed at least four times what she did. His biotic powers were strong but limited. If she really wanted a fight, she needed to disable him and then get some distance between them. Not so different from the rachni, really.

"What seems to be the problem over here?"

She registered the familiar dual-toned voice, cast in a calm, soothing register, and realized that Garrus was at her elbow.

Wrex said, "_I_ don't have a problem."

Not taking her eyes off him, she said shortly, "My omni-tool isn't working."

"Ah. I can probably help you with that. Let me take a look at it." He didn't quite touch her, avoiding the sparks surrounding her, but gestured across the hold. She followed him to the corner behind the Mako, keeping an eye on Wrex until they were behind the vehicle's shelter. She thought distantly that Garrus had probably stepped into any number of altercations on the Citadel with exactly that placating tone. She let the flare dissipate, and Garrus pulled the omni-tool off her arm to work on it. "Why were you asking Wrex about it, anyway?" he added in a low voice.

"I wasn't." She couldn't see Ashley,, but she crossed her arms and glared in the direction of her station while Garrus began tinkering.

"Hm." He tried out several functions. She leaned over to see what he was doing, brushing against his shoulder, but the readings scrolling across the screen didn't mean much to her. Garrus glanced sideways at her and she pulled back a bit, suddenly conscious of the warmth of his arm against hers. "This is pretty thoroughly disabled," he remarked. "What happened to it?"

Tali happened to it, she thought resentfully. "I don't know," she said, truthfully enough. "It was like that when I got up this morning."

"Hm. Let me just run a diagnostic on it."

"Thank you," Liara said while he set up the program. "You really don't have to. I'm sure you have other work."

"I don't mind. I haven't done anything yet, though." He hesitated. "It'll take the diagnostic a little while to run, so we have a bit of time to talk, if you like."

Liara bit her lip. "I'm sorry."

"What for? You apologized yesterday, if you're still worried about what happened at the Citadel."

"I'm just... not very good at dealing with people." She sighed. "I'm really much better off on my own, digging up artifacts. I know artifacts. When I'm talking to people I get flustered, I make mistakes, I don't know how to say what I mean, I just create offense and confusion..."

Garrus stilled her with a hand on her arm. "And you pick fights with krogan who can break you in half?"

He looked serious, but there was a gleam in his eye that made her start to smile. "Are you making fun of me?"

He sat back. "No. Not at all. Do I look like I'm making fun of you?"

She missed the pressure of his hand on her arm. "It's a little hard to tell with you turians." From the facial expression, anyway. The thread of laughter in his voice was harder to miss.

Garrus sighed in mock resignation, or so she thought. "You soft-bodied types act as though turian expressions were completely impenetrable. You _could_ try learning through observation, you know."

She smiled. "I'll keep that in mind. I'm good at studying."

He tilted his head sideways. "I'm sure you are. Liara, it's fine. I just wasn't sure what you wanted. You, uh, might be overthinking things a little."

"You may be right," she admitted. She felt obligated to add, "I'm afraid we may have become something of an object of conversation around the ship."

He nodded. "I'm not surprised. Did you know, Liara, apparently humans like to gossip."

She laughed out loud at his dry, descriptive tone. "I did notice, although a little too late to keep my mouth shut. I'm sorry."

"You really can stop apologizing."

"I'll try. Listen, Garrus, can we... start fresh?"

He tipped his head the other way, so he seemed to be scrutinizing her through his blue-tinted eyepiece. "I'll be honest here. I'm not quite sure what you mean by that. I don't have a problem with our current situation."

"I just meant—" she bit her lip again, and mentally reprimanded herself for the habit, "—can we forget about the awkward and confusing part and move on?"

"Well, I can," he said, mandibles flicking outward into something she might have called a smirk. "You're the one who seems to be having difficulty doing that."

She felt herself flush at the truth of that, but he went on, "So let me keep being honest. I think we could use a little clarity here. I like you. You're intelligent and interesting and attractive. I hope that makes you feel better."

Straightforward honesty was such a relief that Liara relaxed a little, even though her heartrate sped up. "It does. Thank you. I like you, too." She took a moment to search for compliments that were not just the mirror of what he'd said to her. "You're clever and capable and..." she faltered, "...also attractive."

"Oh, I know," he said, with a little shift of his mandibles that came and went almost before she registered it. She could almost swear it was a grin. A subtle one. She stared at him, now watching her with a perfect impassive expression, like a model turian officer.

"And vain," she suggested, and this time she was sure she saw the same little flare. "Completely full of yourself," she added, and there it was again. "And a tremendous tease," she finished, and he laughed outright.

"Guilty as charged. And didn't my superior officers love that trait."

"Turians aren't generally known for their senses of humor," she noted.

"So I've observed," he said dryly. "You seem to be able to cope, though."

"I do," she agreed. She was actually a little bit surprised. "I don't always get people's humor."

"That would follow, from not knowing how to talk to people."

A small silence fell. Sheltered from prying eyes by the hulking vehicle, Liara could almost forget that they weren't alone. "Garrus... where do we go from here?"

"Well... I suppose that depends on what you're looking for. If it's just physical attraction involved, then—" he shrugged "—we should just find some privacy for an hour and, um, blow off some steam, but that wasn't exactly the impression I had from you."

Liara's eyes had widened and she swallowed, her throat suddenly feeling dry. "I... um..." Somehow it hadn't even occurred to her that there could just be casual sex, and though her body felt heated at the mere idea, her mind shied away from the notion. That wasn't the way she wanted this to happen. "... that's... maybe later? I'd... like to know you better. Um, first."

"That's what I thought," he said, and cocked his head, evidently noticing her expression. "Er, sorry to cause alarm. It's just not unusual for turians serving on the same ship to, ah, relieve tension together. But I'd like to know you better, too."

"Oh... good, then." She tried to silence the part of her mind that was coming up with options for private space on the Normandy. "Besides, I think we've given the humans enough to gossip about for now."

"Definitely," he agreed. "So... we should talk more often. We do have some down time in the day."

Liara nodded. "All right. I'd like that."

"Good. That's settled, then." The omni-tool chimed, and he picked it up. "Hm. You've picked up one hell of a virus here. It'll take me some time to deal with it, and I can't imagine it'll be interesting for you. I can bring it by your station when it's done."

"All right." She rose to her feet. "And I'll... see you at dinner?"

"I wouldn't miss what the replicator spits out for the world," he said, deadpan.

* * *

><p>Ashley hopped into the elevator with Liara just before the doors closed. As soon as the elevator was underway, she nudged Liara in the shoulder. "I heard you both laughing, so it couldn't have gone too badly."<p>

Liara's lips tightened. Talking to Garrus had lightened her mood, but now her anger rekindled. She crossed her arms and remained obstinately silent.

Ashley tried again. "What the hell were you arguing with Wrex for?"

Liara turned to glare at her. "Maybe you shouldn't have made a _bet_ with him about what I'd do. I can't believe you talked to Wrex, of all people, about things I told you in confidence."

Ashley grimaced. "Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't tell him anything, though. He'd come to his own conclusions."

"No, you just told every tech on the ship not to help me. I'm sure there's absolutely no speculation about why I was to get assistance from only one very specific person."

"I didn't tell any of them why!"

"I don't think you had to tell them, Ashley. I think they could figure it out by themselves. This was awkward enough without being the subject of gossip by everyone on the ship."

After a moment, Ashley said, "I'm sorry. But...I didn't exactly start the gossip, Liara. You're kind of easy to read."

Her voice rose. "And you really don't think your actions made people speculate more?"

"I said I was sorry!"

"You also just keep justifying yourself." Liara pressed her lips together, trying to avoid saying something harsher, but she couldn't stop herself. "It is hard enough being the daughter of a deceased traitor, and the only asari, and one of only four non-humans, on this ship. I already know everyone is watching me. I don't need everyone to be... laughing at me, or pitying me, or talking about my nonexistent sex life, too. And given the history your species has with turians, I doubt Garrus needs any of that, either."

Ashley bit her lip. "I'm—"

"Your plan was also not exactly necessary. We talked yesterday, and no, I don't want to tell you anything about our conversations at the moment."

After a moment, Ashley said, "Yeah, okay. Fair enough."

"I'm also going to be very upset if any of the files on my omni-tool are lost or damaged."

"Tali said that shouldn't happen."

"She had better be correct."

"I really am sorry. I guess I didn't think it all through."

"Next time, do." She knew Ashley's intentions had been good, but she was not yet in a mood to be forgiving.

The elevator arrived at deck three. As the doors opened, Ashley said, "Liara, wait. Are we... can we still be friends?"

She paused, holding the door. "Maybe. Probably. Give me some time."

* * *

><p>The rest of the day was fairly routine. Shepard stopped by soon after Liara got to her station, to chat and to ask her to see if she could find any links between Noveria and Nepmos in the data they'd collected. Later in the day, Shepard planned to take Wrex and Kaidan to investigate another Alliance base on Altahe, which might also have been attacked by rachni. Liara busied herself scanning through the data, half expecting Garrus to appear with her omni-tool at any moment. Eventually she got sufficiently engrossed in her work that she lost track of time until she rubbed her aching eyes, checked the ship's clock, and realized that it was the dinner hour.<p>

Out in the mess, Liara was the first at the table she usually shared with Ashley and Tali. Tali emerged a little while later. She hesitated when she saw Liara, then took the seat next to her with her head down. "Liara... I'm sorry. I should have told Ashley no."

"Thank you." She poked at her meal and made a face. "I suppose it will all blow over eventually. I just hope I haven't lost anything from my omni-tool permanently."

"It should be all right, but I made a back-up, just in case."

"There you are!" Garrus came up behind her and dangled her omni-tool in front of her. "All fixed."

"Oh, thank you!" She took the device, secured it to her arm, and looked quickly through the files. "Everything looks intact. Thank you very much." She twisted around to look at Garrus, who was leaning over her shoulder, one hand on the back of her chair. He was near enough to kiss, an idea that had some appeal, but she decided not to reward Tali's watching eyes. She settled for a smile. "If I can return the favor, let me know."

He grinned down at her with bright eyes. "You're welcome. And I will. I hope you don't mind if I join you two."

The corner of her mouth twitched. "Not at all."

He fetched his own dinner from the replicator and sat opposite Liara, in the seat that Ashley usually occupied, commenting, "That was an unusually complicated virus. It seemed designed to lock everything up without actually damaging any data. Odd."

Tali stiffened, and Liara said, "Really. That _is_ strange."

"I eventually recognized part of the underlying architecture, though. Based on a very common hack, originally salarian code. Made it easy to unravel. A little sloppy."

Tali said sharply, "It was n— Um. That's also peculiar."

Liara tried to hide her smile. The next moment, though, a slap on her shoulder nearly knocked her out of her chair. She turned and tensed, warily. "Wrex?"

The krogan grinned at her. "T'Soni. You're all right." He lumbered off.

She stared after him. "What just happened?"

"You didn't back down," said Garrus. "I think he might respect you now." His mandibles twitched. In amusement, she thought.

Respect from the krogan. This day had turned out much stranger, but better, than she ever would have thought.


	6. Normandy Days and Nights

_**Chapter Six: Normandy Days and Nights**_

Shepard said they were just spinning their wheels. They had no good idea where Saren and his geth might strike next, so they were chasing down reported geth sightings, tracking down Prothean data, or running errands for the Alliance. Liara even had trouble keeping track of where they were as the Normandy crisscrossed the Attican Traverse. Her own duties remained mixed; she took her turns on ground missions when called, and spent most of the rest of her time doing data analysis. Much of it involved examination of the Prothean data discs they turned up here and there, but Shepard also tossed other projects her way. Such as figuring out just how rachni had gotten from Noveria to Nepmos.

After their conversation in the hold, she and Garrus had been spending more time together... though seldom alone, which was simultaneously a disappointment and a bit of a relief. They had less overlapping free time than she'd have supposed; one or the other of them was often absent, accompanying Shepard on a mission, and they both had a habit of getting wrapped up in their other projects for hours on end. Garrus now tended to join her at meals, unless he was in the middle of something. Usually some combination of Tali, Kaidan, and Ashley was also present. Really, the whole ground team was drawing closer together; even Wrex occasionally contributed to their conversations, from his aloof post at the next table, and Shepard came by now and again to chat with the entire group.

The few times they found themselves alone together never seemed to last for more than a short time. A few days into this new routine, Garrus happened to miss lunch, and Liara found herself fidgeting while the two humans and Tali talked about favorite vids and games. She'd already had to confess that she hadn't seen a new holovid in over a year, since she'd spent most of that time isolated on Therum, so she had no real opinion on which of the year's releases were likely to win awards. Finally, she rose quietly from her seat, ordered a dextro-appropriate meal from the replicator, and ventured down to the lower deck. She wasn't sure anyone even noticed her going, except maybe Wrex. She wasn't surprised to find Garrus working under the Mako. Mindful of how she'd startled him the last time, she made a show of stepping loudly and clearing her throat once she exited the elevator, calling, "Garrus?"

"Yeah," he said, muffled under the vehicle, and rolled out. "What is it?" He looked up with some surprise.

"I, um, brought you lunch," she said, a little hesitantly. "I hope that's all right... I wasn't sure what you liked, so I called up the replicator's most common selection..."

"That's fine," he said. "I'm not too picky. Thanks. I'd totally lost track of time." He stripped off his work gloves and used a nearby rag to wipe his hands before taking the tray from her, eating with a relish that suggested he really had been hungry.

Feeling a bit at loose ends, Liara fidgeted and then settled herself cross-legged on the floor next to him. Garrus paused and looked sideways at her. "Is that actually comfortable?"

"Is what actually comfortable?"

"Sitting like that." He indicated his own posture, sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him, knees slightly bent. "It just looks painful."

"Oh." Liara adjusted her position. "No, it's fine. Well, I suppose it might be painful for you. I don't have spurs, remember, and I'm pretty flexible in the hips."

"I can see that." His tone was neutral, but his voice was a little lower than usual.

"What had you so preoccupied you missed dinner?" Liara asked.

"Mm." He swallowed a mouthful. "It's in particularly bad shape after Edolus. There's this solidified combination of thresher acid, omni-gel, and grit that I have to dissolve before I can even begin to fix the suspension."

Liara made a face. "That does sound unpleasant." The whole mission had been unpleasant, too. Actually, downright terrifying. It had been her and Ashley with Shepard, that time, investigating a missing marine team. They'd had to scramble back to the Mako to flee the thresher maw, with Shepard cursing the whole way. Liara had heard stories about thresher maws, of course, but had been fortunate enough not to have encountered one. When they'd finally finished it off with repeated blasts of the cannon and a steady stream of machine-gun fire, Shepard had pounded her fist against the control panel. "That was a _trap_," she growled. "If I ever catch up with whoever did that..."

"Unpleasant is one way of putting it," Garrus agreed with a sigh. "Speaking of which, I should get back to work. Thank you, again."

"Oh. You're welcome." Liara leaned over to take the tray and overbalanced. Garrus caught her, both hands on her shoulders, before she could topple into him entirely. She found herself suddenly almost nose to nose with him, and their gazes locked. She swallowed, her heart pounding. They'd been very discreet in spite of talking more often, hardly ever touching; of course, they also were hardly ever alone together, but there was no one else in the hold just now...

The elevator doors opened, and both of them jumped. Liara fell back into a sitting position. Several of the engineering crew and the requisitions officer emerged from the elevator, talking and laughing among themselves, and headed toward the engine room. Liara scrambled to her feet, feeling warm. "I... suppose I should get back to work, as well."

Garrus looked up at her with the slight smile she'd learned to read. "I have no idea how long this is going to take me, but I'll try not to forget dinner this time. Don't feel obligated to come down."

"I don't mind," she said, flushing slightly. She was uncomfortably aware of the requisitions officer at his station. She glanced in that direction. He was watching them, and hastily jerked his eyes away and made a show of rummaging through his crates when he saw her looking at him. She sighed and took the tray back up to the mess.

That was the sort of thing that was typical of life on the Normandy: only a few private moments, from time to time, and curious human eyes seemingly everywhere. Even in Liara's work space, which was usually quiet, she knew very well that Dr. Chakwas was always in the next room, often with one or more patients.

* * *

><p>A few days later, Liara tore herself away from her console and stretched her aching back. She'd spent most of the day trying to track down anything she could on the organization called Cerberus, at Shepard's request. The rachni they'd found on Nepmos could be traced back to a place called Depot Sigma-23; they'd escaped from there and gotten themselves shipped to Nepmos and another Alliance station. What worried Shepard more was how they'd gotten to the depot in the first place; the Cerberus group had apparently smuggled some specimens out of Peak 15, intending to raise and train them as shock troops (but against whom?). So Liara had been looking for leads on Cerberus, and any connections between that group and the operation on Noveria. She'd had very little luck tracing anything solid, though. She realized it was late, well past the dinner hour, and she could really use something to eat.<p>

She found Ashley and Garrus both in the mess area when she emerged. She blinked; both had been out with Shepard that day, and she hadn't realized they'd gotten back from the ground mission. She really must have been blocking out the rest of the world.

Garrus said, "All I'm saying is that she placed a lot of faith in that man's word."

Ashley returned, "Well? It was her call."

"I know that," said Garrus. "It's just..."

Liara took her food from the replicator and approached them, somewhat hesitantly. "I didn't realize you were back already," she said. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"Hey, Liara," said Ashley, shifting her weight. "No, have a seat." Garrus merely offered her a slight, somewhat tired smile, fiddling with the remnants of the meal in front of him. After a moment's hesitation, Liara sat next to him. Things were still a little strained between her and Ashley; she hadn't quite managed to forgive the woman for the omni-tool incident. Ashley knew it and still acted uncomfortable in Liara's presence. Like now, when she was fidgeting with her fork and bouncing her knee under the table, making it vibrate just a little.

"What were you talking about?" Liara ventured.

The two of them looked across the table at each other for a moment. Garrus sighed and said, "Shepard shot and killed a human scientist today. A Dr. Wayne."

"What?" Liara tried to remember the pre-mission briefing, which the whole ground team usually got. "I thought the mission was to find and protect a scientist?"

"It was. When we got there, another human was holding him at gunpoint, claiming that Dr. Wayne was responsible for atrocities. I guess Shepard believed him."

"Fifty marines died at Akuze," said Ashley. "If that was deliberate, this Wayne guy deserves a lot worse than a clean shot to the head."

"I know. I heard about it when it happened. I'm not disagreeing with you," said Garrus.

Liara asked, "Akuze?"

"It's a human colony," Ashley said. "About five years or so ago, the Alliance lost contact with the first group of colonists. They sent a full unit of marines to investigate, and then lost contact with them, too. All fifty of them died. It turned out that they'd found a nest of thresher maws. Humans had never encountered any before, so we... they... would have had no idea what to do."

Liara swallowed, remembering the thresher maw on Edolus. There wasn't much that _could_ be done when faced with a thresher maw: run; retreat to a vehicle if possible; use the heaviest weapons available. When dealing with more than one... if retreat weren't possible... she could hardly imagine the consequences.

Ashley continued, "The guy on Ontarom, Corporal Toombs, said he'd been on Akuze. He said the scientists had deliberately drawn in the thresher maws, to see how humans would respond to them. And they'd taken him prisoner and experimented on him until he managed to escape. And since then he'd been hunting down the scientists, one by one."

There was a silence. Liara hadn't finished eating, but found that she wasn't really hungry any more.

"And what I'm saying," Garrus put in, "is that it might be better for Toombs's case if Wayne could be made to testify about what happened."

Ashley snorted. "I thought you left C-Sec to get away from that kind of thinking, Vakarian."

Liara could feel him tense next to her. Mandibles drawn in, he fixed Ashley with a cold look. "I'm not saying I don't believe him, Williams. But Toombs didn't know the extent of the experiments. He said the scientists worked for a group called Cerberus. If other people than Wayne were responsible and still living, we'll never know now."

Liara felt suddenly cold. "Cerberus? That's the group that somehow got rachni samples off Noveria. Shepard's had me tracking down any information on them I could find."

Both Garrus and Ashley looked at her. "Have you found anything?" he asked.

Liara shook her head. "Nothing concrete. There's a manifesto from around the time of the Relay 314 incident—er, your First Contact War, Ashley—linked to Cerberus, but there's not much to it. Humanity needs to be strong, show the aliens what we're made of, and so forth and so on. Really, not an unusual response to a first-contact situation. It's anonymous. The manifesto seems to have circulated ever since, but very widely. It's the sort of thing that a lot of people will pass along without being affiliated with the group, so it doesn't really serve to track them down."

Ashley's lips had tightened. "That was nearly thirty years ago. If they could pull of something like Akuze, or stealing rachni, they're a much more serious black-ops organization now."

"Which is what I've—" began Garrus. Seeing Ashley's expression turn murderous, Liara quietly kicked him under the table, wincing as her foot connected with his boot. He glanced to the side at Liara, then back at Ashley.

"Yeah, I get it, Vakarian," she snapped. "You've made your point already."

"Sorry," he said. "I, ah, maybe got a little carried away there."

Ashley sighed. "It's okay. Maybe the Skipper got caught up in the heat of the moment. I don't know"

"Maybe Shepard was thinking about the missing marines on Edolus?" Liara suggested. "She said that was a trap, too."

"Huh. You might be right about that," Ashley admitted. "She was sure pissed off about that."

Liara said, "I wonder if there's a connection."

Ashley grimaced. "I don't like the idea of that, but someone sure set up that distress beacon."

"If they're a human supremacy group, why would they be experimenting on humans?" asked Garrus. "From what we know now, their activities have mostly caused harm to other humans."

Liara said slowly, "Maybe they just have better access to human subjects? If their membership is human, they could infiltrate the Alliance military, but not the turian fleet. The Akuze incident would suggest some ties to the Alliance navy."

"Or maybe..." Garrus shifted in his chair, his knee brushing against Liara's, "maybe they also think it would be more dangerous to experiment on non-humans. The Council would be more likely to notice and take some action."

"Typical," Ashley muttered. Liara flinched, and drew breath to say something, but Ashley hastily added, "I mean, I get it, I don't support terrorism or brutal experiments on anyone, but the Council's not always real sympathetic to human interests."

"No, you're right about that," Garrus said. "Humans have come a long way in thirty years, and a lot of species... or people in them, really... think you should wait your turn. But the Council doesn't really intervene in turian internal politics, either. Anything that looks like members of a species going after others of the same species tends to be seen as a matter for self-policing."

Ashley tapped her fork against the table. "And what about you, Vakarian? Do you think we should wait our turn?"

He tensed, again, subtly. Liara wasn't sure Ashley would be aware of it from where she was sitting. He said carefully, "I wouldn't be here if I didn't respect humans, Williams. I'm more interested in what people can do, not whether they do it on someone else's approved schedule. I don't think volus or elcor or hanar need to get a Council seat before humans can even think about it, if that's what you mean. I also don't think humans should get one just because they want one."

Ashley frowned, and Liara put in, "Do we really need to do this? We have all relied on each other in the field. Surely some degree of trust has been earned."

Ashley hunched her shoulders. "I'm sorry. I never really worked with aliens before. I know both of you are all right, and you're not responsible for your governments."

Garrus relaxed a little. He said easily, "It's all right. If you're looking for an average turian opinion, I'm probably a pretty bad example, though."

Liara said, "These Cerberus people, though... if they're trying to make use of thresher maws and rachni somehow... I would assume their plans would ultimately aim against non-humans."

They all considered that in silence. Liara wondered if Shepard would ask her to look for information on Akuze next. Garrus rubbed his forehead. "I don't know about you two, but I've had enough contemplating conspiracies for one night. I'm going to get some sleep."

"Good night," said Liara, Ashley echoing her. After he left the mess area, Liara realized that she and Ashley had the space to themselves. She felt awkward, and was considering retiring for the night herself when Ashley spoke.

"So, still angry at me?"

Liara sighed. "Not exactly." She could easily remember how angry and humiliated she'd felt, but the emotions had dimmed. "It's just hard to forget. I trusted you, and..."

Ashley finished for her. "And I broke your trust. I know. I'm sorry. I treated you like one of my sisters, and that was a little... I overstepped, and I'm sorry."

Liara blinked. "I... didn't realize you thought of me that way."

"Well, not exactly." Ashley shrugged. "Romantic woes, though, you know? I've given lots of advice to my sisters, and it was kind of similar. Tali seems much more like a little sister, since she's younger."

Liara smiled a little. "And what would your sisters do if you disabled their omni-tools so they'd have to talk to a particular someone?"

"Oh, scream at me, I'm sure. Lynn would probably throw things. Sarah might complain to Mom. No, they'd definitely all be on your side. I screwed up, I admit it. I promise, I won't do anything like that again."

Now Liara couldn't help smiling in full. "Okay."

Ashley brightened. "Really? We're okay?"

"Yes. I know you meant well."

"Well, good." They smiled at each other across the table, and then Ashley said, "So... how are things going, then?"

"That doesn't mean I want to talk about _that_," said Liara, even though there really wasn't much to tell.

"Okay, fine," said Ashley, with an exaggerated sigh. Then she smirked. "You'll have to tell me if you want me to find you some alone time, though."

Liara blushed. "I, ah—I don't think that will be necessary."

"Right." Ashley was still smirking. "I'm sure you can figure things out on your own. Or he can. My money's on that, actually."

"No more betting," said Liara firmly. "I mean it."

* * *

><p><em>Sorry it's been a little while since I updated this one... I'm hoping for more frequent updates to come, although the Mass Effect 3 release may slow me down some.<em>


	7. One Day on Feros

_**Chapter Seven: One Day on Feros**_

The little colony of Zhu's Hope was dusty and unassuming; the air was dry, and the mid-afternoon sun was almost too warm. It did not seem the most promising place for a human settlement. Liara wished she'd gotten a better look at the Prothean ruin sites. From an elevated spot, she could see telltale towers and typical Prothean city layouts in the distance. She didn't think the Feros sites had ever been thoroughly and properly surveyed. Doubtless the ExoGeni corporation was working on it. She was always wary of corporation-sponsored excavation, personally; the corporations were always more concerned with how to make their finds profitable than with doing the job correctly. It was somewhat curious to find a settlement, though. A lot of former Prothean worlds were no longer ideal for settlement, perhaps a result of the attacks that had ended their civilization. Liara grimaced at the thought, looking around at the sun-weathered humans and wondering that they all seemed so attached to the place.

The Normandy had headed straight for Feros as soon as they'd gotten word that the ExoGeni colonies there had gone dark. Fortunately, they hadn't been far away, and had gotten to the colony in time to fight off the geth incursion. Shepard had then divided the team, taking Ashley, Wrex, and Tali with her to the ExoGeni headquarters, and leaving Kaidan, Garrus, and Liara, under Kaidan's command, at Zhu's Hope to take care of whatever needs the colonists might have.

The colony had been under geth attack long enough that they were in a rather bad way, as it happened. The three of them had undertaken an exploration of the tunnels underlying the tower and skyway that led to the main ExoGeni facility, to repair the water pipeline and locate some spare power cells. The tunnels had been crawling with both geth and varren, forcing them to proceed cautiously. While they were down there, Kaidan's scans had indicated that the geth had set up a communications station. They had traced the geth signal to its source, only to find it guarded by a trio of krogan as well as geth, pushing their resources to the limit. Both of the men were now sporting substantial bruises; Kaidan had the weary, stretched look of someone who'd overtaxed his biotics, and Liara suspected she looked the same.

They'd found a missing colonist in the tunnels, as well, an unfortunate fellow who'd seemed quite deranged, rambling nonsensically. After some discussion, they'd decided not to force him to accompany them back to the colony. The colonists were really quite grateful for the assistance, and were already setting to the work of repairing the damage done by the geth attack. Liara sat on the steps of the walk running around the area, drinking the energy drink that the salarian merchant had pressed into her hand, watching the humans at their work. "What brought you to a little colony like this?" she asked the salarian.

He blinked his large eyes at her. "A good trader can find profit in all sorts of places. Isolated colonies like this one are usually very glad to have access to unusual goods. I might just stay here, though." His gaze drifted around the space. "This is... a good place. A special place."

"Really?" said Liara, surprised. She looked around herself, at the dry ground, the crashed freighter, the busy humans in their dirty coveralls. She couldn't see why a spacefaring salarian would want to live out the rest of his short life in a place like this. "What makes it so special?"

"Oh... I'm not the one to ask about that. You should talk to Fai Dan." He watched her solemnly, as if expecting her to hop up and seek out the human leader at once.

"I... see." Liara stood up, trying to shake off the prickling discomfort. She'd tried to make conversation with several of the colonists earlier, only to get similar responses from all of them. They all deferred to Fai Dan, and all seemed strangely passionate about the colony. She would have expected to hear some kind of complaint out of someone. "I should... see if Lieutenant Alenko needs me," she told the salarian, needing some excuse to retreat from his unnerving gaze.

He nodded and smiled. "Come back if you need anything!"

She managed a smile in return, and made her way through the downed freighter to their makeshift sickbay. One of the older women of the colony had become ill. Kaidan was doing what he could for her, although a field medic's skills were more suited to dealing with injury than disease. "Ma'am," he was saying, "it would be easy for us to evacuate you to a better-equipped medical facility."

She shook her head. "Oh no. I couldn't leave Zhu's Hope. It's... it's my home!"

"I understand that, ma'am," he said patiently. "We might even be able to help you more if you'd just come aboard our ship."

The woman turned her face away. "No. I just... I just want to rest."

Kaidan looked up and saw Liara waiting in the corridor, raising his shoulders in a tiny shrug. "Whatever you like, ma'am." He stood and joined Liara. They both left the freighter through the nearest exit, opposite where Liara had come in. "I guess you can't help people if they don't want to be helped," he said.

Liara nodded, looking around. Garrus seemed to be talking over the colony's defenses with the woman called Martinez, who appeared to be the only trained security personnel present. The woman kept giving the turian incredulous, sometimes even hostile looks, which he appeared to be ignoring entirely. Liara had been feeling a little conspicuous herself; this wasn't the kind of place that got a lot of non-human visitors. "I don't understand why they all like it here so much," she said to Kaidan in an undertone.

"Well, they signed on to help spread human influence in the Traverse. There's a sort of frontier romance to it all, I suppose."

"I suppose," said Liara dubiously. "Even the salarian, though. I was talking to him, and he said he might want to stay."

"Hm. Okay, that's a little odd."

Liara still thought that was an understatement. There was something _very_ odd about Zhu's Hope.

Garrus joined them a moment later. "I think Martinez over there hates me," he remarked in a low voice.

Kaidan snorted. "I don't think it's personal. She was rude to Shepard, too."

"Garrus, do you think the colonists are behaving oddly?" asked Liara.

He didn't get a chance to reply. All at once, all the colonists they could see stiffened, simultaneously, and looked toward the three of them, as though their heads were on strings. Martinez, and a few others who were armed, slowly drew their weapons.

"What the hell?" said Kaidan.

Liara flung up a barrier, trying to stretch out the necessary energies to shield her teammates as well as herself—and from all sides, since she couldn't be sure where all of the colonists were. Kaidan was trying to reach Shepard on the comm, but wasn't getting anything more than static. He joined her in raising a barrier a moment later.

Somebody fired on them, but their barriers held for now. "Return fire, lieutenant?" asked Garrus, his rifle already out and ready. Liara realized that she'd drawn her own pistol, quite unconsciously.

"Avoid lethal fire if you can. Suppressing fire, keep them down. Retreat to the Normandy." Kaidan eyed the colonists who were approaching them; their kinetic barriers wouldn't repel fists or knives. Liara froze several of them in place with stasis. "Good," he told her. "Slow them down as much as you can without hurting them."

They began to retreat through the colony. They kept the freighter at their backs at first, but once they reached the end of it it was harder to keep track of all the colonists. Liara let the two men handle the suppressing fire, concentrating on keeping up the barrier while using stasis or throwing up obstacles to slow down the colonists who followed them. The humans moved strangely, stiff and jerky. She had already used biotics extensively earlier, in the tunnels, and maintaining their defensive shield now was becoming a strain. She glanced sideways at Kaidan and thought he was feeling it, too; he was sweating, tense, and paler than usual.

Something hard hit her shoulder. She stumbled, and her barrier flickered. A shot slammed into her midsection. It didn't penetrate her armor, but she the impact made her stagger. Kaidan moved to her side, putting her in the protection of his barrier while she collected herself. As she renewed the barrier, she glanced down and realized what had hit her: a rock. Their usual shielding and biotic barriers were intended to stop high-velocity shots, not slower projectiles. She looked up and realized that several of the pursuing colonists were gathering up stones in their hands. "Oh, that's not good," she said faintly. None of them were wearing helmets, thanks to the perfectly breathable atmosphere.

"No," Kaidan agreed. "Let's pick up the pace." As they kept moving, Liara managed to freeze three of their pursuers into stasis. She knew it was a weak attack as soon as she made it, though; it wouldn't last long. They weren't far from the docking area now, though, so they just had a little further to go...

Out of the corner of her eye, she realized that a few of the colonists, with rifles, had managed to move around to their side, using the various junk and barrels set up in the yard for cover. "Left!" she called as a warning. As she did, the colonists in front of them began to throw their stones. One sailed past her, and she heard it clang off Garrus's heavier armor. Some stones fell short; one or two hit Kaidan, she thought. Another hit her square in the chest. She ducked involuntarily, gasping for air. Then things went black for a moment, and suddenly she was on the ground. Her head hurt, but she couldn't figure out why. When she lifted her hand to her head, it came away sticky. She thought she heard her companions talking, loud and urgent, but her ears weren't working right, or maybe it was her translator. Someone picked her up, making her stomach lurch, and she seemed to bouncing against a hard, armored surface. It just made her head hurt more. She really wished whoever it was would stop, and tried to say so, but she couldn't make the words come.

They stopped at last, and she finally managed to gasp out, "Put me down." She slid, and felt ground under her feet again, with two strong hands clamped on her shoulders. Garrus peered into her face, looking grim at whatever he saw there.

"Liara," he said, and had she ever told him she liked how her name sounded in his voice? She didn't think so. "Come on, stay with me."

"Right here, Garrus. I like your voice." Her voice sounded funny in her own ears, but his clenched jaw relaxed a little.

"Well, you know who I am, that's good," he said. "You got hit in the head, okay? I'm taking you back to the Normandy."

They were next to the ship, she realized. The door slid open as soon as she realized it, like she'd made it happen. Garrus lifted her by the shoulders and set her on her feet inside the airlock, but she swayed as soon as he let go. "Dammit," he growled. He looked over his shoulder, then back toward her. "I have to go back for Alenko. Do you understand? Can you get on board by yourself?"

She put out one hand, relieved to feel the wall under her fingers. It would help hold her up. "P-perfectly all right," she said, trying to keep her voice, and the rest of herself, steady. "I'll just go see the doctor." That struck her oddly, somehow. "I'm a doctor, too, but not the right kind of doctor."

"No," he agreed. He touched her cheek lightly. "You're tougher than you look, though." He stepped back and hit the button to close the hatch.

She heard the familiar synthesized voice announcing the decontamination cycle, but then she must have passed out, because the next thing she knew, she was lying on something. A bed; the lighting overhead was dim in a familiar way, and she realized she must be in the medbay. And with that, she realized she had aches all over.

"Ah. There you are." She heard Dr. Chakwas's crisp voice, and the woman came over, checking the monitors and looking into her eyes. "Do you remember what happened?"

"We were on Feros," she said slowly. "The colonists were attacking. They had rocks." That must have been what hit her; she reached up to touch her head, and found it bandaged.

"That's right. Don't touch, please. You have a concussion, a cracked rib, and a lot of bruises. You've been out for most of a day."

"Is everyone else all right?"

"Yes. The rest of the team has been treated and is doing just fine. Let me call the Commander. She'll want to know you're awake, and meanwhile we can get you something to eat."

Shepard arrived shortly after. Liara straightened up, automatically, wincing as the action stretched sore muscles. "Glad you're back with us," Shepard said with a smile. "How are you feeling?"

"Not too bad, but Dr. Chakwas tells me that's because I haven't tried to get up yet."

Shepard's smile broadened. "Yeah, you take it easy. Your head is kind of important around here."

"What happened down there? Why did the colonists attack us?"

The smile fell away. "Well, it turns out they were being controlled by a giant... plant... thing..."

Liara's head was hurting again by the time Shepard finished explaining to her about the Thorian, and the geth, and the Cipher. She rubbed her forehead absently. "That's a lot to take in."

"Sorry. Do you know Shiala? The asari commando?"

Liara tried to remember. A lot of asari had followed Benezia at one time or another. Most of them had been rather dismissive of Liara once she and her mother started quarreling. "Maybe." She thought Shiala might have been one of the more polite ones, who at least pretended to be interested in her studies of the Protheans. "I'd have to see her to be sure."

"She stayed on Feros, but I can show you footage of her."

"She stayed? Why would she do that?"

Shepard shrugged. "She said she wanted to make amends for the harm she'd done the colonists. I can't help but notice that whatever Saren's up to, he's pretty interested in mind control abilities."

Liara shivered. "That's more than a little disturbing."

Shepard said, "I'll need you to take a look in my head again. The Cipher doesn't really seem to be clearing things up for me."

"Of course..."

"Not right now," said Dr. Chakwas firmly. "In fact, I think she needs some rest now, Commander."

"Sure thing. You work on getting better, Liara."

Complete rest was the best way to recover, Dr. Chakwas told her. Liara rested, and perhaps dozed on and off, but she didn't think she was sleeping for very long at a stretch. Instead, her mind wandered in an unfocused way. Kaidan paid her a visit some time later, one arm in a sling. "Oh dear," she said.

"Don't worry about it. You did well out there. You kept your head, and slowed down the colonists without killing them."

The praise was unexpected. "I... thank you." She frowned. "Garrus said he was going back for you."

"He did. We both got out of there fine. My arm will be all right in a few days. The colonists followed us, though. They were banging on the airlock before Shepard got back."

"I don't think I'm sorry I missed that."

Dr. Chakwas shooed him off shortly after, and Liara dozed again. Ashley and Tali came together with her dinner tray. She was pleased to find that she actually had an appetite, and ate while they took turns telling her about their trip to the ExoGeni facility.

Ashley told her, "And then we break into this room, walk past a piece of junk, and—bam!—suddenly it unfolds into a big geth..."

Tali put in, "I told you not to turn your back on it..."

Liara laughed. "I assume you dismantled it?"

She felt exhausted once they'd left, but couldn't help a little self-pity at the thought that Garrus hadn't been among her string of visitors that day. They'd said everyone was fine—and if he wasn't fine, he'd be here, too—so why not come see her?

Dr. Chakwas dimmed the lights further. Liara suspected that the doctor was trying to encourage her to sleep. It worked, though, as she realized when she woke up to hear the woman's voice.

"She's resting," Dr. Chakwas was saying firmly. "And _you_ were supposed to deliver her to the medbay, not leave her fainting in the airlock."

"Well, I could hardly leave Lieutenant Alenko all alone with the rock-throwing colonists, could I? Or you might have two concussion patients in here."

The familiar teasing lilt made her smile. "I'm awake," she called.

Dr. Chakwas pulled back the curtain that gave her a bit of privacy and gave her a stern look. "Fine," she said, "but only five minutes."

"Ten?" Liara suggested hopefully.

"Five," she repeated, half smiling, "but I'm stepping out to get some coffee."

Real privacy, even for a brief window, was an unexpected gift. "All right."

She heard the door open and shut behind the doctor, even as Garrus came up to her bedside. "Hey there. How are you doing?"

Lying down, she had to look a long way up. "I'll be all right. My head hurts, on and off, and I'm getting tired easily. You can sit down, you know."

He pulled a chair up to the bedside, sat, and startled her by putting his hand over hers. "Yeah. You got hit pretty hard. There were too many threats to keep track of, so I didn't notice in time."

She tore her eyes away their joined hands, though she remained aware of the texture of reinforced fabric against her skin. There was a shade of anxiety in his expression, facial plates held tight. "It was hardly your fault," she said. "What, were you going to yank me out of the way?"

He shrugged. "Something like that. You wouldn't have been in front at all, if you didn't have to cover me with your barrier."

"Your getting shot is not really a better outcome. Stop being hard on yourself." He didn't look convinced. To distract him, she turned her hand palm-up and squeezed his. "You're still wearing gloves. Do you wear them all the time?" She knew many turians did, when working with other species, to conceal the more obvious aspects of their predatory lineage.

He shrugged again. "Most of the time. I don't want to alarm the locals."

Liara rolled her eyes. "I'm not human. I'm aware you have talons. Take it off?"

His expression relaxed a little more, and his tone was deliberately light as he said, "I didn't _think_ humans came in blue." He unfastened his gloves and pulled them off, one after the other, before returning his hand to its previous position on top of hers.

He kept his talons trimmed, too, she noticed. Her breath quickened at the heat and texture of his skin against hers. "That's better," she said, and flushed at hearing her voice come out more husky than she'd meant.

Garrus leaned forward and lightly touched her cheek with his free hand. "You were pretty out of it for a little while there. I hated just leaving you at the airlock, but..."

"It's fine," she said, focusing on his eyes. "Wait, you didn't think I was angry about that, did you? Of course you had to go back, don't worry about it—"

He leaned forward and cut her off with a kiss, pressing his mouth against her lips. That was just about the last thing she expected him to do. It wasn't a gesture typical of turians; before, she'd been the one to kiss him, which meant... he must have learned it from her. His touch was warm and light, a little hesitant; she pulled him closer with her left hand at the back of his neck. His tongue brushed against her lips, so she opened her mouth, let him in. Heat seemed to flood through her, along with a growing urge to open her mind and bring them together, merge the two of them into one being. _Too soon, too far_, she thought, shying away from the desire to meld, which she'd never done before in that way. She concentrated on the feel and taste of him instead.

When he pulled away, she opened her eyes, trying to catch her breath. "Sorry," he said, voice noticeably lower than usual.

"Are you?" she said, still breathing hard.

His mandibles flared out into a grin. "No," he admitted. "Unless you are. But this doesn't seem like the time."

She slid her fingernails along the back of his neck, finding the edges of the scales that guarded his spine, and he shivered. "Kiss me again?"

"Yes, ma'am." He leaned in again, and this time she pressed her tongue against him, boldly venturing past the sharp teeth to taste him, strange and sweet and smoky.

She didn't hear the door open, but she did notice the ostentatious clattering Dr. Chakwas made around her desk, and broke off with a sigh. Garrus laid his cheek against hers and sighed, too, breath warm against her neck. "Get some rest," he murmured. "I'll stop by tomorrow."

"It took you long enough today," she said tartly, though she couldn't stop smiling.

"Shepard really did a number on the Mako this time, although I suppose the blame really lies with the geth. She has us going through ExoGeni's files, too." He stood, reluctantly, and put his gloves back on. "See you tomorrow."

Liara listened to him go and sighed, trying to find a comfortable position in the too-firm bed. She felt too wound up to sleep. Dr. Chakwas leaned around the side of the screen shielding her bed, smiling. "Everything all right, Liara?"

"Yes. Just fine." It was a bit of a lie, since the bed still felt a bit uncomfortable, but on the other hand she felt nearly giddy.

"He kept sending up inquiries about how you were doing, while you were unconscious," Dr. Chakwas said.

"Oh. Really?" Liara felt warm, and ridiculously pleased that he'd worried, somehow.

"Mm-hm. Pleasant dreams, dear."


	8. Academic

_**Chapter Eight: Academic**_

Dr. Chakwas kept Liara under close observation for a day, and then cleared her to resume light duty. Only shipside, and she was to stop and rest the moment she felt any head pain, nausea, or dizziness. She found that she needed to take breaks from her console screen every hour or two—which she knew was a good practice anyway, but which was usually easy to forget as she became enthralled with her work. Garrus hadn't been kidding about the ExoGeni data; somehow or other, Shepard's team had acquired significant caches of data regarding the Thorian and ExoGeni's agenda generally, and sifting through it consumed a lot of time and effort.

It didn't yield much in the way of results, though. ExoGeni had quite a lot of measurements and observations of the Thorian, but they still hadn't known much about the being, and there was little to give them any sense of what Saren's agenda was or what his next steps were likely to be. Liara joined the rest of the team for a briefing at which they tossed around a lot of ideas; Shepard asked her, Garrus, and Kaidan a lot of questions about how the colonists had behaved while the Thorian was controlling them. At length, Liara asked hesitantly, "Commander… is the Cipher helping you understand the visions?"

Shepard shook her head. "Not really. Are you up for taking a look?"

Liara nodded and got to her feet. "Try to relax, Commander," she said, closing her eyes and reaching for the mental contact.

Shepard's mind was difficult to merge with. Her will was so strong that Liara always felt she had to struggle to overcome her defenses; move through or around or under walls, barricades, and other obstacles. She had no intention of prying into Shepard's private thoughts and memories, and it took some effort, too, to steer clear of these areas of her mind, in search of the Prothean material she needed. The vision itself was searing, not just images but sensations: the terror, pain, and despair of an entire species as its civilization was destroyed, as countless millions of Protheans suffered and died. Liara really couldn't tell how different it was this time from the previous ones; perhaps a little clearer, some details sharper, but really nothing that they could _use_…

Pain lanced through her skull, bringing her back to herself. She stumbled and felt someone catch her, and she sagged into a solid body. "Easy there," came Shepard's voice, and Liara realized that it was Shepard holding her more or less upright. "Liara? You with us?"

"I'm… all right," she said, faintly, but her head was pounding and everything around her seemed to be whirling. She opened her eyes and then shut them again, tightly, because Shepard was a swirl of vibrating color, making her feel queasy. "Sorry, Commander, I don't think I could make out enough…"

"Well, you did what you could."

"Commander." Garrus, behind her, spoke with an undercurrent that she felt too muddled to analyze. "She should probably see Dr. Chakwas. I can escort her if you'd like."

"Good idea. Thanks, Garrus."

She tried to keep her feet herself, but Garrus's arm wrapped firmly around her back, taking her weight as Shepard let go of her. He was all but carrying her as they headed to the door, she realized, and once the door had closed behind them, he simply picked her up bodily and headed for the stairs. "I can walk," she protested.

"Really?" He set her down, but kept a hold on her shoulders. Which was good, because she swayed at once and almost fell into him. "Careful," he said, bracing her upright.

She looked up, startled by the rumbling undertone in his voice. "Are you growling at me?"

He blinked and shook his head. "Sorry. No. Not at you. Do you really want to try to walk to the medbay? It's no trouble to carry you."

Things were better, a little, if she focused on his eyes, but the ship still seemed to be rocking around her. "No," she admitted.

"Okay, then." He picked her up again. She closed her eyes. It was actually quite comforting, if she let herself relax, to be folded against his warm, hard body, aware of the solid rhythm of his heartbeat. She tried not to think about what the human crew might think if anyone saw them.

It wasn't a long trip to the medbay, where Garrus set her down lightly on the examination table. Her head had cleared a little by then. She was able to answer Dr. Chakwas's questions about what had happened, as he stood to one side, arms folded, fidgeting. The doctor frowned and then turned to him. "Garrus, be a dear and fetch her some tea, will you?"

"The Thessian herbal blend. The bags are in the drawer next to the kettle," Liara volunteered.

"Sure," he said, going.

"I do hate hovering," murmured Dr. Chakwas. "I told you to be careful of using biotics, Liara, and that includes this."

"I know, but it was necessary." Liara pressed her hand to her aching head. "It's part of my responsibilities here."

"You're not obligated to undertake duties you're not fit for. You say the symptoms are already getting better?"

"Yes—I'm not so dizzy, but I still have a headache."

"I'm going to prescribe a painkiller and rest for the moment. And no biotics use of any kind for at least a day, do you hear me? I'm going to notify Shepard of that, as well."

Liara sighed. "All right."

The door opened, and Garrus reappeared, cup in hand. Liara accepted it, with murmured thanks, and sipped the hot, fragrant liquid. "How are you?" he asked, quietly.

"She'll be fine with some rest and quiet," said Dr. Chakwas tartly. "Which means you not fussing over her."

He looked so startled that Liara stifled a smile, trying to hide it behind her cup. She said, "It's all right, Dr. Chakwas. Could we... have a minute?"

Dr. Chakwas looked from one to the other and gave an exaggerated sigh. "Fine. I'll be back in a few. And then I'm going to insist you get some rest."

Liara nodded obediently as the woman rose and left. She sipped her tea and looked up at Garrus. "I feel better already. I'll be fine, really."

"I hope so," he muttered darkly, pacing. There wasn't room for more than a couple of his long strides. Liara caught his sleeve as he went by the second time.

"Unless I'm failing at my 'reading turians' lessons, you're upset. What's wrong?"

He sighed and stopped moving. When she tugged on him, he sat on the bed next to her. "Shepard shouldn't have asked you."

Liara blinked. He didn't criticize Shepard often, especially not so directly. She said softly, "She didn't know. I had to make the attempt sometime."

"Everyone knows biotics and head injuries don't mix. And you didn't have to do it now. You were injured just two days ago. It was... careless of her."

Shepard had violated some turian principle of responsibility, Liara concluded. She leaned into his side, perhaps offering some comfort, taking some herself from his closeness. After a moment, he put his arm around her, his hand warm against the side of her hip. She sat, holding her cup, very conscious of the shift of his chest as he breathed, her own breath falling quietly into sync. "I'll be fine," she said eventually.

His hand tightened on her hip. "Yeah. Sorry to, um..." He shook his head. "I don't like to see you hurt."

She was little touched by the idea that he felt protective of her—although she would prefer not to need protection. Dr. Chakwas came back in then and shooed him out, and Liara submitted to the doctor's insistence that she rest.

* * *

><p>The headache was gone by morning, and Liara was busy at her workstation, trying to piece together more information about Cerberus, when Shepard stopped by on her usual rounds of the crew.<p>

"How are you doing, Liara?"

She rose from her seat and turned to face Shepard. "I'm well. I just overdid it a bit, I think. Dr. Chakwas says I should avoid using biotics for a few days."

Shepard nodded. "Sorry about yesterday. I don't suppose you've recalled anything more from the visions?"

"No. I may have something we could follow up on, though."

Shepard arched her eyebrows. "Oh? What's that?"

Liara brought up the program she'd been sent a week or two earlier. "There's a small conference of Prothean researchers going on at the Citadel. I heard we're bound back in that direction?"

The corners of Shepard's mouth turned down. "Yeah. There are a few meetings I need to have in person, unfortunately. We could stand to resupply, anyway."

"Well... if I went to the conference, I might be able to compare some data and ask some questions. Only with your permission, of course," she added hastily. "I mean, I know there are aspects of the mission that we can't talk about, and..."

Shepard was nodding. "Don't say anything about Saren or Eden Prime. Or geth."

"I don't think there's any need for me to mention the Cipher, either."

"Yeah, that's good. No offense, but I don't need all the Prothean experts in the galaxy going through my brain."

"I... may need to mention the Conduit and the Mu Relay, to find anything out."

Shepard frowned, apparently deep in thought, and then nodded, slowly. "Try to be discreet. And don't go alone, just in case something goes wrong."

Liara felt a little irritated at the idea that she couldn't take care of herself, but tried to suppress it. "Who, though? If they're going to blend in at a conference of academics, they need to look non-military."

"Well, that rules out Ashley... and Wrex, unless you can invent a need for a bodyguard."

Liara shook her head. "I can't think of anything plausible enough."

"Hm. I don't see anyone else being able to pass as a Prothean researcher, honestly. I'd still like you to have some backup, but someone else keeping you in line of sight with a comlink ought to be adequate for that, unless your academic conferences are a lot more cutthroat than I'm thinking."

Liara smiled. "Well, you might be surprised, Commander, but... I doubt anyone's going to attack me in public. Physically, at least."

Shepard grinned. "I think Garrus had some experience with that sort of operation at C-Sec, so let's have him back you up there."

* * *

><p>"<em>Liara, can you hear me?<em>"

"Yes," she murmured into the comlink. One piece was concealed in her ear, the other beneath the high collar of her dress. She passed the two hanar protestors at the entrance—a few hanar inevitably appeared to protest any kind of research into the Protheans, but at least they were polite—and made her way into the conference hall.

"_Subvocalizing is fine. You don't actually need to speak aloud._"

"It's not like I have a lot of practice subvocalizing."

"_I've can see you while you're in the entrance area, but I won't have line of sight once you go in for the talks._"

Liara suspected that Garrus was going to be bored senseless once the conference sessions actually began. It was a small gathering, somewhere between a hundred and two hundred researchers. Glancing around, she found she knew many of them by sight, or reputation. They were mostly asari, mixed with a handful of humans and a few salarians, turians, and elcor.

Liara accepted a nametag and program from a smiling, very young asari and stepped aside to glance through the list of presenters, trying to decide who might be a good target for her inquiries. A voice she hadn't heard in a while interrupted her pondering.

"Liara!"

"Yalla!" Turning, Liara saw Yalla T'Vesi, a friend from her student days. "How are you?" she said, embracing the other asari.

Yalla pressed her cheek against Liara's. "I'm well, I'm well. Goddess, it has been an age, hasn't it? Oh!" She stepped back and gave Liara an assessing look. "Well, you're in fabulous shape! You look wonderful."

Liara started. She supposed she had put on a bit more muscle, between Ashley's training sessions and the combat itself, but she hadn't thought anyone else would have noticed. "I've been busy."

"_That's one way of putting it_," said Garrus in her ear.

Liara hoped he was not planning to keep up a running commentary all day. "What have you been up to since—" She tried to recall the last time she had seen Yalla.

"I have a teaching position on Nevos," Yalla said. "What about you?"

"I'm still in research. I was most recently working on Therum, but an untimely eruption destroyed the site."

Yalla groaned. "That is such a tragedy. Things that lasted fifty thousand years, destroyed in a moment."

"Yes," Liara agreed, softly.

"Come on," said Yalla. "We still have plenty of time before the first session. Let's catch up properly."

Not exactly a part of her mission, but it would look odd if she didn't take time with an old friend. Yalla drew her aside from the crowd, and they spent several minutes exchanging news: Yalla talked about her work and her students and her current research project; Liara gave an edited account of what she'd been studying on Therum.

"So you're still looking into the doom of the Protheans?" Yalla asked with a smirk.

Pieces of Shepard's vision flashed through Liara's memory. "Yes," she said, suppressing a shudder.

"Well, you haven't changed. Are you seeing anyone?"

Liara blinked. "What?"

"_It's not that difficult a question, surely_."

"You know," said Yalla. "Are you still living the pure life of the mind, or have you found someone to help you relax a little?"

Liara squirmed under Yalla's scrutiny. "I, ah, might have."

"_Might have? Should I be offended?_"

"What, you're not sure?" Yalla's eyes brightened, and Liara remembered belatedly that she was the biggest gossip of their grad school cohort.

"It's recent," she said hastily.

"Oh, really? Come on, Liara, you can tell me about... him? her? What species?"

"He's turian," she admitted with a sigh.

"Ooh, turian! Not what I would have expected from you!"

"_Why not?_" came the voice over her comlink.

"I... don't know what you mean," Liara said, puzzled.

"It just seems a little rough for your tastes. I mean, I've never gone that way myself, but I... hear things."

"_Like what_?"

"What things?"

"Well. You know. That they're all militaristic and predatory. I hear they can be rough in the bedroom, a lot of biting and scratching and dominance games."

Liara fought not to be distracted by the sound of Garrus laughing in her ear. "I don't know that that's true," she said.

"_Oh, I don't know. I certainly could bite you. You might have to ask nicely, though._"

Liara wondered if she could subvocalize _shut up, Garrus_ without anyone else noticing.

Yalla was saying, "Oh yes. A friend of mine had a turian partner for a while, and she was always telling me what they got up to…"

Liara really didn't want to know. She interrupted, "It's almost time for the opening lecture. We should go find seats."

"_Aw, Liara, I wanted to hear the end of that story._"

Liara took notes furiously during the first lecture, where an asari matron, one of the leading researchers in the field, proposed a new scheme for dating Prothean artifacts. Liara and Yalla parted ways afterward, bound for separate workshops. Liara had chosen one on Prothean communication devices, where three speakers discussed known or theorized communication technologies. They were clearly talking about devices like the beacons, Liara noted: a civilization-wide network of devices which interfaced directly with the recipient's mind. She didn't quite dare to say anything, afraid she'd give herself away, as she listened to the lively discussion that followed. She was amused, however, that the consensus that emerged was that no species was close enough to the Protheans genetically to be able to interface with the devices properly.

For the rest of the day, Liara paid polite attention to various lectures; when the opportunity arose, she asked questions about the Conduit. Nobody seemed familiar with such a weapon, though, and some suggested that it was a bad translation. She asked a few people if they were familiar with the Mu Relay, too; one or two had heard of it, but had no more idea where it might lead than Liara herself did. She got bored enough in the afternoon that she welcomed the distraction of Garrus's occasional jokes in her ear. She admitted to herself that this whole thing had probably been a waste of time. Feeling disappointed, she got into an argument with an older asari researcher who thought the Prothean empire had succumbed to decadence and overpopulation. "I am frankly surprised to see a scientist of your reputation simply ignoring the clear evidence of external attacks," she said, her voice rising.

The other asari sniffed. "What evidence?"

Liara reeled off a series of well-documented studies, all of which had been published in the last decade, "—or perhaps you're simply not up on the current literature?" she asked, narrowing her eyes. The crowd around them, most of whom had been openly or surreptitiously eavesdropping on the conversation, reacted to this with a series of mutters, and she thought someone actually gasped out loud.

The older asari glared around, and everyone hastily returned to their own conversations. Liara turned on her heel and walked away. Garrus was laughing in her ear again. "_That was some kind of academic kill shot, wasn't it?_"

"Hush," she murmured.

She was brushing by a dark-haired human woman, who paused and turned toward her. "Excuse me?"

"Sorry," said Liara. "I wasn't addressing you."

The woman gave her a measuring look, nodded, and walked away. Liara made sure she was actually alone before saying quietly, "Wonderful. Now I look like I'm talking to myself."

"_I thought academics were all eccentrics who talked to themselves, anyway_."

Yalla caught up with her shortly after, told her briefly about the presentations she'd attended, and then said, "So. Tell me about this turian."

Liara could think of only one way to deflect this line of questioning. "Oh, Yalla, never mind me. Are you seeing anyone?"

It worked; Yalla was only too willing to share rather more personal details about her recent liaisons than Liara really wanted to hear. She tried desperately to think of a polite way to extricate herself from the conversation.

"_I can see you fidgeting. Need an extraction?_"

Liara started, wondering what he had in mind. Yalla was cheerfully talking on and on about her current paramour, a very young asari who sounded frankly rather shallow; Yalla had always had dubious taste. "She's here on the Citadel, too—she said she wanted to go shopping in all the best places on the Presidium. I hate to think of the bills, but," Yalla smiled, "it does make her happy. Oh! You should join us for dinner."

Liara squirmed. Maybe she could plead having other plans. "Actually—"

"Oh, there you are. We're going to be late," came a familiar flanging voice. It took Liara a moment to realize that she wasn't hearing it over the comlink, but in real space, as Yalla looked over her shoulder and blinked.

"Well, hello," Yalla drawled.

Liara twisted around to see Garrus coming up behind her. She raised her eyebrows, and got one of the subtle, smirking mandible flares in response. "We need to go now to make our dinner reservations," he told her, in apparent seriousness.

"Of course." Liara rose from her chair, mildly dismayed that Yalla also rose.

"I don't think we've met?" she said, eyes darting toward Liara inquisitively.

Liara introduced them, hoping she wasn't supposed to invent a pseudonym for him: "Yalla T'Vesi, Garrus Vakarian."

"What a pleasure to meet you," said Yalla.

"You too. Have you known Liara long?"

"Oh, years and years. We were at the University of Serrice together." She smirked. "Back then she was focused on nothing but her studies. I'm glad she's learned to loosen up."

"Well, I am too," he said, and surprised Liara by snaking an arm around her. "I'm afraid we really do have to go, though."

"Have a nice time," Yalla said with a smile. "Do write me sometime, Liara!"

"I will," she called, as Garrus skillfully maneuvered them toward the exit.

"That woman was an utter bore," he muttered as the made their way out to the walkways of the Citadel. "Is she really a friend of yours?"

"Garrus, _I'm_ boring," Liara pointed out.

"No, you're not," he said firmly.

"Well... she was a friend back at the university. We haven't stayed in close touch."

"Because she's a bore."

Liara squirmed. There was certainly some truth to that, but she'd rather change the subject. "We don't really have dinner reservations, do we?"

He let go, and she found herself missing the contact. "No, but that shouldn't prevent us from actually having dinner."

Liara smiled, reached out, and wound her arm through his. "Are you suggesting a date?"

"That depends. If it's a date, are you going to get all nervous and talk about Shepard constantly?" He smiled, softening the jab, as they started walking.

She prodded him with her elbow, but was laughing too hard to be properly indignant. "That's not fair! And at least I did ask you out!"

"True. We're actually not too far from a good restaurant. I used to go there sometimes with my..." He stiffened suddenly and stopped speaking.

Liara frowned and nudged him again in the ribs. "Garrus?"

Ahead of them, an older turian, scanning the crowd, caught sight of them and turned in their direction. "Garrus?"

"Hello, Dad," Garrus said.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note:<em> _I'm hoping this story will be updating more regularly from here on out. Thanks to the fabulous Smehur for beta reading. Any remaining problems are my fault._


	9. Dinner

_Wow! I think the last chapter brought more reviews, favorites, and alerts than the any other. Thanks! Thanks also to Smehur for beta reading this chapter._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter Nine: Dinner<strong>_

Liara glanced at the approaching turian and back to her companion. The physical resemblance was clear, even aside from the identical facial markings. Garrus's posture had stiffened into something approaching parade-ready rigidness. He hadn't made any move to shake her off, but she was suddenly all too conscious of how their arms were intertwined. Which wasn't strictly an intimate gesture, she told herself nervously, it might mean any level of companionship.

"You look well," said the elder Vakarian, looking his son up and down.

"Thank you. I am well. You look well, too, sir. I, ah... thought you were on Palaven."

"I was. I'm back for a visit. I didn't expect to see you, since Pallin told me you were taking a leave of absence." He added, in an exceedingly dry tone, "I'm not sure why that news came to me from him, rather than you."

Garrus stiffened even further, which Liara would not have thought was possible. "Sorry about that. Things happened rather quickly."

"They often do, around you," the older man agreed. "I don't believe I've met your... companion."

"My associate," said Garrus with a slight stress on _associate_, "is Dr. Liara T'Soni."

Liara put on her best smile and made a polite half-bow, as Benezia had taught her. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Vakarian."

"Inspector. And you as well, Dr. T'Soni," he said. She thought his tone seemed a little warmer. "You work together?"

"Yes," she said, a little relieved to be able to tell him unequivocal truth.

"Interesting. Why don't the two of you join me for dinner, and you can tell me about it."

Well, they _had_ been going to dinner, although Liara was sure this had not been the plan. She glanced up at Garrus, who appeared to be frozen in place, with some tightly-held expression that she suspected masked horror at the mere notion. There was really no polite way to decline, however, as they had clearly been approaching the same restaurant. Garrus must have come to the same conclusion. He unclenched his jaw to say, "Sure."

"That sounds lovely," Liara added, to smooth things over a bit.

"Excellent. It'll be my treat." He stepped back and gestured for the two of them to precede him.

"That's not necessary," Garrus began.

"Nonsense. It's my pleasure. I don't see you enough."

The very proper turian host was clearly an old acquaintance of the inspector's. He whisked the three of them to a secluded table, where Garrus ushered Liara to her chair with stiff, polite care. Moments after the menus came, the host returned, uncorking a bottle of wine which he assured her was levo-safe and one of their finest. Surveying the menu, Liara tried to observe her tablemates covertly. Inspector Vakarian, even relaxed, seemed slightly forbidding, likely due to his lengthy career in law enforcement. Or maybe he simply seemed the more forbidding because of the transformation his appearance had brought to his son. All of the confidence and expansive energy which Liara normally saw in Garrus was damped down, shuttered into a very stiff impression of a model young turian. The change was unnerving.

"So, Dr. T'Soni," said Inspector Vakarian once they had placed their orders, "are you in medicine?"

"No," she said. "I hold a doctorate from the University of Serrice. I'm a researcher specializing in Prothean archaeology."

"Interesting. Why would a Spectre's mission need a Prothean specialist?"

Garrus shifted in his chair. "Dad, you know we can't tell you details about the mission."

"I still have connections, Garrus. I think I know enough to put the pieces together."

"That doesn't change the fact that it's inadvisable to discuss it in a public place."

"Very well. And why did you choose to take leave from C-Sec to join a Spectre? Especially such a new one?" Liara thought she caught a bit of an edge in the Inspector's voice now.

Garrus, curiously, kept his eyes on the table. "Commander Shepard's mission follows up some leads I encountered in my last C-Sec investigation. I am just trying to finish the job I started then."

"Hmm. That would be the investigation Venari ordered you to drop?"

Now Garrus looked up, eyes narrowing. His mandibles flared once. "Just what did the Executor tell you?"

"Enough," he said, waving a hand. Liara wasn't quite sure whether the word was an answer or a command. Garrus sat back, drumming gloved talons on the table. "And you, Dr. T'Soni? What brought you to a new Spectre's mission?"

Liara tried to think what she could legitimately say about Therum, or Benezia, or any of it. "Commander Shepard thought I might have useful information. I knew less than she hoped, but I've stayed on to help where I can."

"With your Prothean research."

Liara smiled. "I am well acquainted with methods of research in a variety of scientific fields. I do my best to assist with data analysis, and I use my biotic talents as they seem useful."

He looked at her intently, eyes paler and harder than Garrus's, and she felt a bit like a suspect under interrogation. Which was probably the intent. "Traveling with Spectres is dangerous business, Dr. T'Soni."

She drew breath, but wasn't sure what to say. Garrus spoke first. "Dad. She's not a child, and neither am I. We're aware of the risks."

Investigator Vakarian returned his cool gaze to his son. "You'll always be my child, Garrus. Ah, here's dinner."

It was brilliantly timed; the arrival of the waiters, bearing steaming plates, cut off what looked like a furious retort. Garrus shut his mouth with a click and glared across the table as his father calmly poured himself another glass of wine, and topped off Liara's, as well.

The food was good—Liara's was traditional Thessian fare, exquisitely and accurately prepared, and the elder Vakarian praised their Palaven-style cuisine to the waiter. But the atmosphere was strained. While Inspector Vakarian appeared unruffled, and resumed the conversation with some polite inquiries about Liara's home and education, Garrus seethed on the other side of the table. She thought he might be settling a little as she told his father about her time at the university, and the conversation returned to him innocuously enough: "So, Garrus, you've been well these last months?"

"Yes, Dad, I'm fine. How are Mom and Sol?"

"Fine, if anxious to hear from you. We do like to hear how you are."

Liara winced at the perfect parental reprimand, and at how easily Garrus had left himself open for it. His shoulders slumped a bit. "I'm sorry I haven't called..."

His father waved it off. "I'm sure you've been very busy, and communications must be unreliable out in the Traverse."

"Sometimes." Garrus's jaw tightened as he realized his error. "Not that we've been in the Traverse, necessarily."

"Of course not. Regardless, I'm sure there have been many demands on your time."

Garrus fidgeted in his chair. "I'm, ah, still sorry. I should have informed you I was leaving C-Sec."

"It would have been appreciated," his father said mildly. "How long do you anticipate this leave lasting?"

There was a charged silence that filled Liara with alarm. She felt as though she should say... something... _anything_ to break it, but nothing came to mind. She reached for her wine glass, just to have something to do with her hands.

"Actually," said Garrus, "I was thinking about re-applying for Spectre training."

This silence became even worse. Liara drained her glass.

"I see," said Inspector Vakarian. His tone was flat and matter-of-fact, but the undertone had a resonance that she couldn't read at all.

Garrus tugged on his collar. "I mean, I've seen how C-Sec operates now, and it certainly does a lot of good, but it can't handle everything. Like this mission. I needed more time to investigate, and working with Shepard has let me pursue the matter further."

"And that justifies going beyond the law?"

"Yes." Garrus rested his forearms on the table and leaned forward, gaze bright and intent. "You know perfectly well how easy it is to block a legitimate investigation if you have enough influence. Yes, Spectres are beyond the law, but that means they can reach where the law cannot."

"And how do you suppose certain individuals became that influential? Perhaps by abusing a Spectre status which should never have existed in the first place?"

"But it does exist, so we might as well use it. I could do a lot of good. Maybe I was too young before, not any more."

"Are you asking for my _approval_?" The Inspector's voice was actually raised; Garrus had finally gotten a rise out of him. "You already know what my opinion on the subject is. And you are _still_ young."

Garrus's talons rattled against the table. "I was hoping we could have a reasonable conversation, and maybe you'd see my point of view."

"No, you were hoping I'd reverse my judgment and agree with you. I fail to see why that matters to you. You'll do as you choose, no matter what I think. You always do."

That is not fair. I have tried to do things your way. I don't know what you want from me."

Liara was desperately wishing she were anywhere else. Back on Therum, while the volcano exploded, would have been far preferable. She was frozen in place, unable to come up with any pretext for excusing herself that wouldn't simply draw attention to her presence. Part of her wanted to leap to Garrus's defense; but this was clearly an old, ongoing argument, and she feared that anything she might say would only make things worse.

Worse yet, the Inspector now seemed to remember her presence. "Dr. T'Soni. I must apologize for subjecting you to our family disagreements. I would prefer not to air such matters in public but—Garrus. Stop fidgeting."

Garrus jerked, slamming his chair back and half rising, as if to bolt, but then froze in place. His eyes shifted toward Liara, and she realized that he probably _would_ bolt if that didn't mean leaving her there. She was indignant with his father's reprimand, herself, and decided that she had had enough. She stood. "I'm terribly sorry, Inspector Vakarian, but I'm afraid we're due to report back to our ship."

He leaned back. "Well, if duty calls, I won't keep you. It was a pleasure to meet you, Dr. T'Soni."

Garrus had shot to his feet as soon as she moved. She took his arm, as when they had entered. She could feel the tension in his muscles, almost trembling under her grip, and decided she was not going to utter a polite _likewise_ in the current situation. "Thank you for dinner," she said instead.

The Inspector inclined his head. "You're very welcome. Garrus."

"Father," Garrus returned through clenched teeth, and they made their exit. A mostly gracious one, all things considered, Liara thought.

Outside the restaurant, Garrus neither relaxed nor spoke to her, simply plowing onwards toward the transit stop with his eyes straight ahead and his face fixed in an impassive expression. Liara was alarmed. Spying an empty bench, she tugged on his arm. "Garrus. Are you all right?"

"Yes," he said, and shut his eyes tight. "No. Let's not... I don't want to make a scene in public."

She looked around. There were a few people passing by, but nobody seemed likely to pay them any attention. "I'm not turian, and I won't think any less of you if you need a minute."

He sighed again and let her draw him over to the bench. He settled down on it heavily and rested his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. Liara sat beside him and put her hand on his back, feeling the long muscles rigid and tense, even through his plating. "He has a lot of rules about proper turian behavior," he said, his voice muffled. "And law. And duty. And everything else."

Liara bit her lip. She wasn't sure it was her place to offer him advice. She didn't want to presume. But they were at least friends, surely, and she knew something about arguing with one's parent. She said, "There came a point when I just stopped trying to please Benezia. It seemed as though nothing I did was right, and I decided I needed to do what was important to me."

He lifted his head a little. "What point was that?"

"I don't quite remember what tipped me over the edge." She walked her fingers up and down his back, trying to press out some of the tension. "Of course, that was after, mm, twenty years or so of regular arguments. Those are the joys of asari family life."

He laughed a little, which was a relief to her. "What was it she wanted?"

"She thought I was using my talents badly. I think she wanted a daughter who was a model of the role she thought asari should play in the galaxy. Elegant, diplomatic, skilled in traditional asari arts, but also in touch with current cultural trends. Not a daughter who wanted to dig artifacts out of the dirt, and devote her time to something impractical and pedantic like Prothean research. She'd indulged me when I was young, but as I grew up, she thought I should devote my time to something more... useful. Well. I suppose it's useful now."

"It is, at that. I think she and my father would have gotten along. They could have complained about their children together." He passed his hands over his fringe. "He's a highly decorated officer, you know. And a model turian citizen. He makes it look easy, and he certainly practices what he preaches, but..." He shook his head. "It's a hard example to live up to. For me, anyway."

She nodded. Benezia was a little like that, too. After a moment, she said, "I didn't realize you'd been in Spectre training."

"I wasn't, really, and it was a while ago. I was just part of a group of turian military recruits who could have continued on to real training. But Dad doesn't approve of Spectres, so... I ended up in C-Sec instead. Shepard's been encouraging me to re-apply, though. It has some appeal. It's going to be hard to go back to C-Sec after this."

His back was still in knots, and her hand was getting tired. She mustered up a tiny mass effect field, just around her fingers, and pushed it into the tense muscles. He sat up and tilted his head back, eyes closed. "Ohhh. That feels good. Thank you." A moment later, he sighed. "Maybe he's right, and I'm too..." He shrugged, stiffly. "Rash. Headstrong. Stubborn."

She blurted, "I like you the way you are," and her face grew hot. She added hastily, "And if you weren't like that, Shepard wouldn't have gotten that lead, and what would have happened to Tali?"

"Thanks." He tipped his head up and looked at her with a faint smile. "You're so pretty when you blush, did you know that?"

Her heartbeat sped up. She knew she must have been blushing even harder. "I, um, never thought about it before."

"I suppose you wouldn't." His voice seemed to have gotten lower. "It was interesting, watching you at the conference." He sat up and turned toward her.

She frowned a little. "Interesting how?"

"It was a whole different side of you." She was watching his eyes, steady and intent on her, so she didn't quite notice him moving until his arm slid around her back. He bent to nuzzle lightly against her cheek and neck, and she felt the next words reverberating against her pulse. "Liara T'Soni in her element. Intelligent. Confident. Beautiful."

Her breath caught, her awareness narrowing to the sensation of his arms around her and his face rubbing against her increasingly flushed skin. She retained just enough self-possession to say, "I never thought of academic conferences as a great turn-on."

He laughed, and the vibration traveled down her spine and seemed to settle between her hips. "Me neither. Who knew?"

His comm crackled to life. "_Normandy to away team, come in._"

Garrus cursed. Liara was tempted to do the same. She pulled away and tried to catch her breath while Garrus answered. "Yeah, Joker, this is Garrus. What is it?"

"_Shepard's about to send out a search party. You'd better report for debriefing."_

"Yeah, all right. We're heading back. ETA twenty minutes." He clicked the comm off, and added lightly, "Just as well, I suppose. With my luck, if we got arrested for public indecency, it would be someone who knew me."

They got up and proceeded to the transit station. Garrus shook out his shoulders as they got into the car and set the destination. "I kept hoping a nice gunfight would break out to distract us. Every time I talk to my father for more than a few minutes, I get the urge to punch something," he said.

"Maybe Wrex will oblige you," Liara suggested.

"There's an idea. 'Let's see if you can beat a krogan without an army and a bunch of salarians behind you, turian,'" he said, in a fair mimicry of Wrex's bass rumble.

* * *

><p>Wrex <em>was<em> obliging. Or maybe he just fancied the opportunity to beat up a turian. Liara hadn't intended to watch, but Ashley refused to let her escape once she got wind of what was going on. Neither Wrex nor Garrus had been participating in the regular training sessions, and the prospect of the krogan and the turian sparring had attracted considerable attention, and a significant number of bets, from the human crew.

"I don't know—" Liara said. "It's been a long day." She was not going to mention that excruciating dinner, but the conference had taken more than enough of her energy.

"Yeah, and you've reported to Shepard, so now you're off duty. Besides, you've got to support your boyfriend. Come on."

"He's—" Liara bit her lip. She couldn't very well deny that she and Garrus were... attached, at this point, but Ashley's ideas about the appropriate behavior of a girlfriend still confounded her at times. "I'd rather not see him get hurt," she said.

"You're supposed to show more faith in him than that," said Ashley. "Besides, they're not going to hurt each other for real."

Liara wasn't so sure, but she gave in and followed Ashley down to the cargo hold.

It wasn't as bad as she'd feared. Wrex weighed considerably more, and was fast despite his size, but Garrus was _fast_, especially out of armor, and exhibited a knack for staying out of the krogan's reach, making good use of his longer limbs. Liara still winced whenever Wrex connected with a heavy fist, even though Garrus seemed to brush it off. The cheers of the human onlookers only heightened her nervousness. Tali sidled up to her through the crowd and squeezed her arm. "It's just in fun, you know," she whispered.

"I do, but it still bothers me." Garrus landed a solid kick on Wrex's knee at that point, and she couldn't help flinching. She felt a little flushed, too. The clothes he was wearing were close-fitting, leaving most of his arms exposed, and she was getting a vivid reminder of his strength and dexterity, and she couldn't help remembering what they'd been doing before that untimely comm call (the feel of muscle and plating under her fingers, even through clothing, the sound of his voice murmuring compliments against her skin). Her imagination was wandering into increasingly intimate places by the time the match was called, and the two combatants slapped each other on the back and headed off for the men's showers. As the crew dispersed, Liara fled, as well, not particularly wanting to talk to Ashley or Tali at the moment. She felt much too on edge to sleep, so she sought refuge at her console.

She regarded the terminal and its extranet connection with a certain amount of apprehension. She just didn't see how to get what she wanted without doing some... research.

She knew the basics. The standard curriculum in asari schools included both xenobiology and education in sexuality. She'd finished that stage of schooling well before humans became known in citadel space, but all the commonly known species, including turians, had been part of the standard course of study. So she was familiar with all the most common arrangement of genitalia and what the most widely practiced sexual acts consisted of. But most of her education had been fairly clinical. She'd picked up a certain amount of information simply from living in the galaxy, from vids, from stories told by friends at university. She couldn't really think of anyone she'd feel comfortable asking for advice now. Neither Ashley nor Tali would be of much help, and the mere idea of calling up Yalla for advice made her shudder. She knew she wanted to... take things further, but she couldn't help worrying that her lack of experience might make her a little... inadequate.

Liara bit her lip. She was probably overthinking things. She should probably just talk to Garrus about it. But she wasn't sure what he'd think, and she wanted to go forward without a lot of naive fumbling around that would make her look silly. Even her ideas of what she wanted for herself was a little nebulous; her occasional erotic dreams seemed to get hazy at the good parts. No, she would really feel a lot more confident if she resorted to some pornography.

She brought up the extranet link and started a search.


	10. One Day on Virmire

_**Chapter Ten: One Day on Virmire**_

Her timing was poor, Liara concluded. They had just been at the Citadel, where it was easier to find time alone—where Garrus actually had an apartment, after all—and now they'd departed again. So now that she'd finally gained a little confidence, she found it once again impossible to get much privacy out of earshot of the rest of the crew.

Afterward, she had trouble recalling the details of the next days. Her own time was spent largely in searching for intel on Saren, the geth, Cerberus—all of which proved fruitless, leaving her frustrated and irritable. Shepard led the rest of the ground team on a series of missions to clear out geth outposts and Cerberus facilities. The team returned ever grimmer from the latter, as each site they secured, each bit of data they managed to extract from damaged and self-destructing computers, demonstrated the long reach of the rogue organization into the military, corporations, and bleeding edge research. Liara tried to use the scavenged data to find out more, but every clue seemed to lead to a dead end. She almost admired their ability to cover their tracks.

She remembered that one night they were all sitting around the mess, even Wrex, and the usual griping about the horrors of Cerberus turned into storytelling, one after the other; she admitted, herself, to the time she'd nearly broken an entire cartload of priceless artifacts with a poorly-timed biotic display; Garrus mentioned the time he'd found a partner most _inappropriately_ amusing himself during a stakeout; Ashley recalled the prank war her unit had gotten involved in during a training exercise on Earth's moon; and it went on from there. Laughter and relaxation, nothing really unusual about that night, except that, later, she recalled it was the last time they had all been together.

She remembered, too, what she'd been doing when they got the call to go to Virmire.

It was a relief whenever the ship's surveys turned up some kind of Prothean artifact that she could use her long-honed skills on. Liara got so absorbed in trying to puzzle out the data on one ancient disc that she nearly jumped out of her skin when the door behind her opened and Garrus said, "Liara?"

"Goddess! You startled me." She hadn't seen that much of him in the last few days. He'd been on most of the ground missions lately, and correspondingly tired, or repairing the Mako, in between.

"Sorry. I brought you a sandwich. Ashley said you liked it."

She looked at the time and realized it was well past noon. Her stomach complained at her. "Oh. Thank you. You didn't have to."

"I was returning the favor," he said, coming in and handing her the food. Now aware of her hunger, she ate it quickly. "What had you so preoccupied in here?"

"I was trying to figure out this Prothean disc." She gulped down the last bite, a little mortified at how quickly she'd eaten. Benezia would have been appalled.

"So what is it?" asked Garrus, leaning over her shoulder.

"Honestly, I don't know." She placed the disc in a protective pouch and sealed it. "The data is fragmented. Someone's going to have to match it up against known text samples, and I don't think I can do it from here. It could be something as simple as a grocery list. A lot of archaeology involves dealing with the mundane remnants of old civilizations." She tried to shake out her cramped shoulders.

"Here, let me." Strong, warm hands descended onto her shoulders. She sighed as he unerringly found the knots of tension. "You've been sitting still for far too long," he murmured. Liara shivered at the feeling of breath running over the folds at the back of her neck. She let herself relax, her head falling forward, and she sighed as Garrus pressed the tension out of the muscles with slow and thorough care. His hands traveled down her back, rubbing along her spine, finally lingering at her waist. His breath was warm on the back of her neck. She shivered.

The moment hung suspended, stretched out. It seemed like ages since they'd spent more than a few minutes out of someone else's sight, and that thought pushed her to move. Liara twisted around, pressing her lips against his cheek plate, his mandible, the side of his neck. She pushed herself up from her chair, into him, winding her arms around him as his encircled her. She let her hands explore his back, tracing the edges of plating and scale through his shirt. Finally, she slid one hand upward to the back of his bared neck. He rumbled against her, a slow, low roll from his chest, his hands tracing the curves of her sides, from hip to waist to ribs and back down. He stopped short of her breasts.

"You may—" she said, a little breathless.

You're sure?"

"Yes—_oh_—"

He cupped her, and she was surprised at how good it felt, even through her clothing. His touch was light and a little hesitant in spite of his strength. Her hands clenched, her fingers digging in, and he hissed.

"Sorry," she managed, relaxing her grip.

"No, that felt good."

"Oh?" She scratched, tentatively, along the line of scales that guarded his spine, and his growl intensified.

"Yeah, like that." His voice was deeper than normal, mixed with the low, continuous rumble.

Their hands continued exploring, with increasing confidence, and it was some minutes before Liara willed herself back from the sweet delirium. "I hate to say it, but we should probably..."

"Yeah." He released her, reluctantly, and then took a last opportunity to palm her breasts. She squeaked a little, to her utter embarrassment. "Sorry," he said, half laughing, half apologetic. "New areas for me. All... soft, and curvy. Couldn't resist."

"It's all new to me, too," she said, and bit her lip, turning her eyes away. She hadn't meant to say it that way—although she wasn't convinced that there _was_ a suave way to confess one's complete lack of intimate experience.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Garrus pause and tilt his head sideways. "Liara?"

She might as well get it all out. "I've never been with anyone. Sexually. Either physically, or, um, melding."

"Is... that a problem?" He sounded genuinely puzzled.

She dared a look at him, and took some courage from the clear, steady gaze. "It just seems... embarrassing. Ashley and Tali were both surprised. I'm... a hundred and six, after all."

"And... you thought that would bother me?"

"Well... I don't really know what I'm doing. I don't want to be clumsy, or... inadequate. I hardly even know what _I_ like." She stepped back and leaned against the shelf that her terminal sat on, gripping the edge of it tightly enough to make her fingers ache.

"Hey." He put a hand on her shoulder. "You're doing fine from where I'm standing. Isn't discovery part of the fun?"

She laughed, a little reluctantly.

"Don't worry on my account, but... is there anything we've done that you don't like?"

"No! Not at all," she said hastily.

"Good," he said, mandibles tilting into a more relaxed position. He lifted his hand from her shoulder and lightly stroked her cheek. "Then... the question is, do you want to?"

She looked up at him, and there really was, as far as she could tell, no judgment or condescension or mockery, just the simple and honest question. "Yes," she breathed. "But I'm... nervous."

He leaned his head against hers, and she let him pull her into an embrace again. "That's okay. When you're ready. We'll figure things out."

"I had to look things up on the extranet," she said, muffled against his shoulder.

He chuckled. "So did I. Most people do, you know."

She took comfort from the firm shape and warmth of him. After a few moments, he said, "Does that mean no one's ever touched you at all?"

"Not... intimately," she admitted. Asari were fairly casual with hugs and kisses, but that was different.

"Hm." He stroked one hand idly up and down her back.

"I told you I wasn't good with people."

"You did. It's just hard to believe no one's, ah, gone after you."

"If they did, I didn't notice. And I've spent a lot of time at isolated dig sites."

"Hm," he said again, and his hand slipped down the curve of her buttocks, pulling her closer. "If it's any comfort, this is a first for me, too. I've never ventured outside my own species before."

She pulled her head back so she could look him in the eye. "I'm honored."

He started to say something in reply, but hesitated, and she became acutely aware of how closely they were pressed together, flush from chest to thigh, of the heat that seemed to be gathering between them. She wondered for a brief, dizzy moment how long they might hold on to their current privacy, and then the spell was broken as Joker's voice came over the shipwide comm.

"All ground team members, report to the comm room for a briefing." A second later, he added, "Seems the Council's seen fit to throw us another lead."

* * *

><p>Later, when Liara thought about Virmire, she remembered the mission as a series of flashes, each one sharp and clear in her memory, but with everything between a jumble.<p>

She remembered this:

She stood on the beach, looking out over the waves, surrounded by the scent of salt and exotic foliage. The sky was bright, but there was a storm on the horizon, and occasionally she heard the roll of thunder. Closer at hand, Wrex's shotgun cracked rhythmically, firing over the water. She looked at him over her shoulder, uneasily, and could see the salarians and the rest of the crew doing the same. Shepard strode toward the krogan, and Liara held her breath as they spoke. Even at a distance, tension was visible in both the human and the krogan.

It must have been later, because she remembered things being quiet. She closed her eyes and turned her face upwards to the sky, letting the sun warm her skin. She'd waded out until the water was lapping at her ankles. "This beach is gorgeous," she said, to no one in particular.

Behind her, Garrus said, "The beach isn't the only thing that's gorgeous."

She looked back over her shoulder with a smile: "Flatterer."

He smirked at her, but Shepard shouted for him from the shore, and he headed toward her with a parting wave in Liara's direction.

Liara pulled off her gauntlet and bent to feel the water, cool on her fingers. She noticed Tali approaching, hesitantly, and sent a biotically powered wave in her direction. Tali shrieked and dodged, even though her suit was impervious to water. They chased each other through the shallows for a few minutes, until Ashley came along to pull them together, draping an arm around each of them.

"All right, girls," she said. "I'm off with the salarians. Keep your heads down, and make sure the LT doesn't blow anything up ahead of schedule, will you?"

Liara couldn't remember what they'd said after that. Some pleasantries and jokes and farewells. They'd come through everything else; none of them wanted to think that this mission might be different.

She helped Kaidan and Tali set up the bomb, while Shepard's team infiltrated the base, and Ashley and the salarian infiltration team provided a distraction. Their work was careful and uneventful, until Tali fumbled a tool, which clanged off the casing of the bomb, and Kaidan went pale: "For God's sake, don't jostle the thing! This is jerry-rigged enough as it is."

Kaidan had sent them back to the ship while he set up the bomb, so she was listening over the comms, like the rest of the crew, and froze when she heard him say: _They're already here. I'm arming the bomb_. The words he and Ashley said after that blurred together in her memory; she just remembered that each demanded Shepard save the other. She froze, transfixed, hardly breathing, in the brief silence before Shepard made her decision.

* * *

><p>Afterward, Liara sat in the briefing room with the rest of the team, feeling as though everything were a bit distant, unreal. To her right, Tali was sniffling quietly. To her left, Garrus sat, stiff and tense, eyes riveted on Shepard. Even Wrex, usually immovable, seemed affected, more somber than usual.<p>

And Kaidan looked wrecked. He'd come straight from the medbay and moved stiffly, looking paler and older than he had that morning. Shepard conducted the debriefing in her usual calm, professional tones, reviewing the information they'd gained from Saren's base, until Kaidan interjected, his voice cracking: "But, Sh- Commander. What about Ash? How could we just leave her down there?"

Shepard said, evenly, "There was no time. The bomb was about to go off. I couldn't be in two places at once."

"But why me?" he whispered. "Why not her? I'm... grateful, Shepard, but Ash died because of me. Because of us."

Shepard looked at him, with a flash of... _something_... in her eyes. Liara thought it might be something soft, but it was just for a moment, and then her voice grew colder and firmer. "My decision was not based on personal considerations, Lieutenant. Ashley Williams was a fine marine, one of the best. But I could not take the risk that Saren or the geth would defuse that bomb. We have seen for ourselves how explosives can be disabled, even under high-pressure circumstances. We've _done_ that ourselves. The mission objective was to destroy that facility. We accomplished that objective, though at a cost." She paused. "If you have further concerns, Lieutenant, address them with me privately."

His jaw clenched, and he stared at the floor. "Yes, ma'am."

Shepard turned back to the rest of the group. "So that's where we stand. We still don't know Saren's destination."

Liara knew what she had to do. "Commander, you were able to interact with an intact beacon. It's possible that I might be able to finish piecing together the vision." Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Garrus turn toward her, as if to speak, but he held back.

Shepard crooked an eyebrow at her. "It's worth a try, I suppose, though it didn't seem to help much last time."

Liara swallowed, remembering the failure, discomfort, and disorientation all too well. She tried to suppress the feelings, rising to stand next to Shepard in the middle of the room. She reached toward her, seeking the contact that made the joining that bit easier. "Embrace Eternity," she whispered as their hands touched. As always, it was difficult to push through Shepard's initial resistance, to find the right spaces in her highly ordered mind, the pathways and channels that could carry her along to her destination. She was dimly aware of Shepard's consciousness as they experienced the vision together: the cacophony of the machines, the remorseless violence they inflicted, the suffering and despair of the Protheans. As the vision continued, spiraling through stars and worlds, Liara tried to concentrate, to find the patterns, to match the planets she saw against the Prothean worlds she knew of, as if she had a map of the fallen civilization. She searched her memory, tried to find the match... and found it. "Ilos! The Conduit is on Ilos."

She opened her eyes. Shepard's face was a blur, and she'd taken a firm grip on Liara's arm. Even so, the room swirled around her, but she managed to keep her feet. Her head hurt, again, and the pain dragged her more fully into the room. She half wished everything had stayed distant. The numbness was gone, and she knew Ashley's death was about to come home to her. Shepard patted her shoulder. "Now that's something to go on. Thank you. Go on and see Dr. Chakwas."

Liara nodded, but words seemed like too great an obstacle. She turned to the door with care, keeping her eyes focused on what was in front of her. When she got to the medbay, she felt rather proud that she'd managed it without assistance, this time, and submitted gratefully to Dr. Chakwas's ministrations.

A painkiller and some hours of rest later, she found Kaidan, Tali, and Garrus sitting at their usual table. "It should have been me," Kaidan was saying. "I set the bomb."

"Shepard had to make sure the bomb would go off," said Garrus, patiently, but with an undertone suggesting they'd been having variations on this exchange for some time.

Tali added, "With their networking ability, the geth networking ability would be able to hack the detonator very quickly."

"I know," he said, "but—"

Shepard came down the steps from the CIC then, and Kaidan shot to his feet. "Commander, could I have a moment of your time?"

Shepard exhaled deeply, and her shoulders tensed, but she nodded. "Let's talk in private, Lieutenant."

The two of them went into Shepard's cabin, the door of which shut firmly behind them. Liara let out her a breath she'd been holding, and heard Garrus and Tali do the same. It was as if a knot of tension had just left the room. In its wake, the mood shifted toward sadness. Liara dropped into the chair Kaidan had vacated, next to Tali.

Garrus looked across the table at her. "You all right?"

"I'm fine. I just needed a little rest." She sighed. "It already... it hasn't been long, but the Normandy doesn't seem the same."

"It does feel different," Tali agreed. "I went to her station on my way here and..." She sniffled. "I'm sorry, I can't help it," she said, her voice sounding wet and thick.

Liara put her arm around Tali's shoulders as she dissolved into full-out sobbing. Her own eyes were growing wet and blurry. Even so, she could see Garrus fidget uncomfortably on the other side of the table, looking as though he wanted to flee. But instead, he reached across, laying one hand over hers and the other over Tali's. Liara turned her hand palm up under his and held on, taking comfort from it herself.

* * *

><p><em>Many, many thanks are due to Smehur, without whom this would have been a much weaker chapter.<em>


	11. Down Time

_This chapterdeserves an M rating. Thanks to Smehur for beta reading._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter Eleven: Down Time<strong>_

Liara walked through the Wards with her heart pounding, half listening to the conversation Garrus was conducting at her side.

"No, I can't tell you exactly what's going on, but it's big... Come on, you know you can trust me." He laughed, briefly. "That was only the one time, and you were drunk, too. Look, all I'm saying is be ready for anything. Right. Take care of yourself."

He shut down his comm, and said, "All right. That's the last. I've called everyone at C-Sec who I trust to be discreet. Who knows, it might do some good. So... what did you have in mind?"

They had come to the Citadel so Shepard could make her case to the Council and Ambassador Udina. Shepard expected her meetings to take several hours, so she'd given the team a few hours' leave, one last opportunity for recreation. They were supposed to stay on call, just in case, but were otherwise free for the moment.

And Liara had made up her mind. She said, "Well, you said you had an apartment."

He stopped short, turning to face her. The crowd in the walkway broke around them. "I do. I, uh... I haven't spent much time there, lately. I don't think I have any food there, to speak of."

"I'm not hungry." She found his gloved hand and squeezed, slightly. "And if we are, later... we can order in."

He blinked, his mandibles twitching, then spreading into a smile. "Yeah, we can do that. Definitely."

* * *

><p>"It's not very big," Garrus said, half apologetically, turning on the lights. "It's just me, and I spend so much time at work that I don't need a lot of space."<p>

Liara rolled her eyes. "I'm not here to pass judgment on your apartment." She did note that the place was tidy, and clean, except for the fine layer of dust which showed that its occupant had been elsewhere for several weeks. It smelled faintly of metal and armor polish.

"Right," he said. "So... I wasn't quite expecting you to suggest this, um, right now. You're sure...?"

She turned toward him. He looked a little nervous, or uncertain, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Her own heart was hammering in her chest, and her hand shook a little when she put it on his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his body through his shirt. "I am," she said. "Not that I'm not nervous, and I appreciate that you've been patient, but... I am." She made herself stop babbling and tentatively shifted her hand from his shoulder to his neck, stroking along the soft skin.

He smiled. Not the usual teasing smirk, but a different, softer expression. "All right then," he said, and took a step toward her, into her space. He touched the side of her neck, mirroring her gesture, before sliding his hand to the nape of her neck, stroking the soft ridges. She wrapped her other arm around him, feeling the slight shift of his breathing, and his free hand lightly explored the curve of her waist and hip. He leaned forward and pressed the side of his face against her cheek. She could feel the edges of his mandible and facial plates, warm and slightly rough against her skin. She shivered and kissed the side of this throat, feeling his pulse, rapid under her lips. Her hand moved further up, scraping the edges of scale, and got low growl as her reward, vibrating through both of them and adding to the yearning that was building up inside her. Her grip on him tightened.

His hand left her back so he could yank the glove off with his teeth and drop it to the floor. He put it back on her waist but slid it up under her shirt and jacket, his skin shockingly warm against hers. She stifled a gasp. They'd had very little skin-to-skin contact, ever, and she found herself suddenly, urgently wanting more. She moved away just far enough to tug the zipper of her jacket down.

"Mm," said Garrus. "I approve." Together, they got her jacket off, and then he seemed to get distracted by the newly revealed skin along her neck and shoulder. He dipped his head to nuzzle at it and then licked a hot, wet trail along her collarbone, swirling into the hollow at the base of her throat. Liara gasped out loud that time, her attention narrowing to those points of contact. She clutched at his shoulders to keep herself upright, because her knees didn't seem up to the task any more. His hands crept under her shirt, sliding up along her spine and tugging the garment up until she had to raise her arms, and her knees did wobble. The shirt came up and off, falling to the floor in a heap of white fabric, and there she was, half bared. She felt warm all over, blushing, again. The way he cupped her chin in one hand and drew his thumb across her cheekbone suggested he didn't mind.

"Garrus," she said, voice low and breathy, but promptly forgot what she intended to say as he leaned down and rested his mouth against hers. Her lips parted, their tongues twining together, her mouth filling with the taste of him, and heat flooded her body. Her hands ran over his chest, searching for the fastenings of his shirt. She was distracted, though, when his fingers found the curve of her breasts. Overwhelmed by how good it felt, she arched into his touch, seeking firmer contact, gathering the fabric of his shirt in her fists, astonished to hear herself outright moan.

He chuckled, and the vibration made her quiver. "You like that," he murmured against her neck, his hands still working slow circles over her breasts.

"You're... wearing..." She could scarcely string words together, already, and tugged on his shirt to make her point. Her seeking fingers finally found a clasp to undo.

"Like that off?" he inquired, voice rumbling low against her shoulder, but he let go and busied himself with the clasps, letting coherent thought return to her brain for half a moment. She looked around, surveying the furniture, and he said, "The bedroom's that way," with a jerk of his head.

She went, pulling off her boots on the way. The room was dark, though, and she was feeling along the wall for the light controls when he came up behind her and slipped his hands around her waist. She leaned into him almost instinctively, her back against his chest, seeking contact. His head dropped alongside hers, and he licked lightly along her shoulder as he gathered her against him. He was so warm, his body so firm against hers, his breath so hot on her neck. She sighed and let him support her as he unfastened her pants and his fingers delved within. He gently stroked the sensitive skin of her groin, tracking downwards between her thighs. The touch felt like trails of fire, and she groaned, feeling a fuzzy sort of pulling sensation at the back of her mind. "Wait," she managed to say, not quite ready to lose herself entirely.

His hand slid back up to her waist, obligingly. "Wait?"

She twisted around to face him, but it took her a moment to compose a whole sentence. "Don't you think this is a little one-sided?" she said, looking up into the pale blue eyes. Something seemed odd—oh, he'd taken off the targeting visor, which made him look far more naked than being shirtless.

"Trust me, your reaction is totally worthwhile," he said, trailing off into a deep sigh as she put her own research to work. She mapped his chest with her hands, exploring the edges of plate, sliding her fingers along the soft skin in between, noting his reactions: the sighs and shifts and the building hum in his chest. He reached for the lights, flicking them on and then dimming them, while she tried an experiment: running her tongue downwards along what seemed to be a particularly sensitive patch of skin, at the same time moving her hands along the unprotected sides of his narrow waist. She got a full-fledged groan for her efforts and looked up to see him gripping both sides of the door frame. Feeling inordinately pleased with herself, she continued her work with her mouth. With her hands, she found and undid the clasps of his trousers. He went very still when she mirrored his maneuver and slid one hand underneath the clothing. She trailed her fingers gently along his length, feeling out the shape and texture of him while his breath turned ragged and his whole frame trembled.

"Liara—" he said, voice low and rumbling, and pulled her up against him, seeking her mouth for another kiss, hungry and urgent, which she returned just as eagerly. He walked her backward across the room. Her knees bumped into something and she tumbled backward onto a firm, slightly concave surface, and it took her a moment to realize it was a turian-style bed—well, of course it was, what else would he have here? He followed her down, tugged her pants over her hips and down her legs. She returned the favor, pushing his trousers off his angular hips, and he finished the job, kicking them off. She looked down at herself: her whole lower abdomen was flushed deep azure, like the slang, the folds between her legs parted and a little swollen. Garrus leaned over her and stroked her, exploring the landscape of her body and she cried out, almost overwhelmed by the sensation, shutting her eyes tight and writhing as he found his way to her opening.

She pressed into his touch, needy, and the mental pull was stronger now, her mind alight with sparks. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him flush against her, felt him shift his hands to support his weight. His voice came soft in her ear: "Ready?"

A little nervousness reasserted itself, but she whispered, "Yes," and he slowly sank himself into her.

It hurt a little, though she tried not to show it. But then their minds joined, and in the rush of unfamiliar sensation and perception she caught two things very clearly. First, his desire for her, deep and strong, and second, almost as strong, his anxiety that he would hurt her. And somehow that soothed her; her muscles relaxed. The discomfort faded, and suddenly everything became much easier. Where melding with Shepard and seeking the visions in her mind was always a struggle that left her drained and exhausted, _this_, _here_ felt like the simplest and most natural thing in the world, the deep, intimate physical connection easing the mental link. Their joined bodies shivered together, adjusting. She trembled with new sensations and felt everything that he felt, and he everything that she felt, sensations, thoughts, and feelings rolling back and forth between them.

She felt him inside her, hard and hot, and his breath against her cheek; and she felt what he felt, her body tight and velvety soft around him and her fingers digging into his back. They could move, now, with greater confidence, knowing what felt good, sensing through their connection where and how to touch. She adjusted the angle of her hips; he returned a hand to her breast; she drew her nails up the back of his neck; he nibbled ever so lightly along her collarbone. As the connection deepened there was more shared sensation, thought, and memory. Neither of them was really thinking in words, but she caught flickers of remembrance from him, felt how different she was from the turians he'd been with before. She caught glimpses, too, of herself, seen at other times. A memory of that first kiss, back on Noveria, and felt fierce gladness—from herself? from him? from them both? she wasn't sure, and it wasn't important—that _that_ moment had led them to this one.

She had been racked with bliss from nearly the moment their minds melded, and had no sense at all of how much time passed before she felt the pleasure rolling through his body, too, as he stiffened and pulsed inside her. She held onto him still, feeling him gradually relax, and after a time the mental connection faded, and she was alone in her own body again.

He rolled off her and she followed, curling up against his warmth. He pulled her snug against him. "Goddess," she said, catching her breath. The feelings and memories she'd picked up from his mind were already fading, but the warm glow of the joining lingered.

He laughed, the vibration rolling through both of them. "Yeah."

She said, "I mean, people told me about melding, but..."

"Me too." His hand lightly caressed her hip. "Words don't quite..."

She understood. "No, they don't."

After a moment, he said, "Sorry about the beginning..."

She kissed his throat. "Don't be. I was too tense. Everything worked out just fine."

Many minutes passed in silence filled with afterglow before he spoke again.

"So," he said. "Did you want to order something to eat, or...?" His hand shifted, his thumb rubbing the skin just above her thigh. A question.

Her own fingers explored the space between his hips, found him not quite retracted, and he groaned a little at her touch. "I don't know that I'm hungry quite yet," she said.

From the other room, his comm chimed.

"Damn." Garrus scrambled out of bed and ran into the next room. Liara sat up, observing the trail of clothing they'd left behind. She couldn't hear who was on the other end of the link, but she heard his voice clearly: "Yes. Of course. I can be there in... fifteen minutes. Or twenty."

He came back in a moment later, setting his visor back into place.

"What is it?"

"Shepard wants me to suit up and meet her at Flux." He opened a closet and started dressing. "Good thing I have a spare set of armor here."

"Ah." Liara climbed out of the bed herself. "Do you know why?"

"She didn't say. You can use the bathroom, if you like. The door should lock when you leave."

Liara's omni-tool, discarded with her jacket, buzzed then. "I thought that might happen," she said, already moving toward it.

When she took the message, the synthetic voice of the Normandy's VI said, "General call. All Normandy personnel report to the ship immediately." That was all; the message simply repeated until she pressed the acknowledgment button. She pulled her shirt back on and headed into the bedroom to retrieve her pants, nearly running into Garrus, fully armored, in the doorway.

"You're fast," she said, standing aside for him.

"Standard turian military drill," he replied. He paused for just a second to brush his forehead against hers. "See you back at the ship."

She planted a quick kiss on his cheekplate. "See you then."

* * *

><p>Liara could hear the hum of the Normandy's engines even as she stepped into the airlock. Which prompted a question: Why were the engines running when the ship was docked? Her chest tightened with growing anxiety. She started to speak as she came out of the airlock, but Joker glanced back and shook his head. "Not now, Liara."<p>

Swallowing her questions, she turned down the corridor. The entire CIC seemed alive with energy, and was far more fully staffed than it had been when she departed a few hours earlier. Pressly caught her eye, but waved her toward the stairs. "Only essential crew in the CIC just now, Dr. T'Soni, thank you."

She sighed and headed down, trying to control her nerves. Scanning the mess, she was relieved to see Tali, and caught her arm as she headed toward the elevator. "What's going on?"

"Well... we're making preparations for departure." Tali twisted her hands together. "But I... I don't think Shepard's meetings went well."

"What happened?"

"She didn't say, but she came back earlier than she expected, and she looked..." Tali shook her head. "She was in a _really_ awful mood. And then she got a message and went tearing out with Kaidan, in full armor."

"She called Garrus and told him to meet her at Flux," Liara said.

"Really? I wonder..." Tali cocked her head. "You were together?"

Liara shook her head. "Yes, but that's not important right now."

Tali sighed and went back to fidgeting. "She called in orders to prepare for departure and recall the crew. But as far as I know, we're on lockdown right now. Liara, I... I think we might be stealing the ship."


	12. Victory

_**Chapter Twelve: Victory**_

They did, in fact, steal the ship.

Liara had felt the motion of the Normandy's departure, followed by Shepard's shipwide announcement that they were bound for Ilos, and any crew member who had issues with her decision should inform her at once. The mood of the whole crew was tense and subdued. Liara had no idea what to do with herself. This could be it, the culmination of their long chase. Her body felt tight with anticipation and a little fear. She backed up all her files and tried to occupy herself with analyzing one of the several Prothean discs they'd turned up. She couldn't concentrate, though, and gave up. Tea, she thought, might be the thing. Something soothing.

Moving through the medbay, she found that Dr. Chakwas had set the junior medics to work taking inventory of all their supplies. She kept out of their way and made her way into the messhall. Kaidan was the only one there, picking over the remnants of a meal. She let him be while she prepared her tea, inhaling the familiar scent of Thessian herbs, and turned to face him with the cup in her hands.

He was still staring at the plate, absently pushing the crumbs around with his fork. He seemed oblivious to her presence until she cleared her throat and said, "May I join you?"

He looked up, blinking, and his mouth twitched into a half-smile. "Sure."

She took the chair across from him and took a sip from her cup. "What do you think about all this, Kaidan?"

He shrugged and put the fork down. "If Shepard's wrong, we could all be up on charges."

Liara shifted her weight uneasily. Shepard was acting, to a great extent, on Liara's word, her understanding of what she'd seen in Shepard's vision. If she had misidentified their destination, they had just stolen the ship for nothing. "The Conduit's on Ilos," she said. "I'm sure of it."

"I believe you," he said. "I believe in Shepard. And I was there. She tried to convince the Council. Even our own ambassador doesn't really believe her. So— I think she's making the right choice. But if she's wrong..." He trailed off and glanced at the closed door of Shepard's cabin.

"I'm not sure I fully understand," she said. "Everyone's obeying Shepard's orders. Isn't that what we're supposed to do?"

"Sure. Unless the order is illegal," said Kaidan. "And Shepard is disobeying her own orders, and the entire crew is complicit in that. The Alliance isn't keen on mutiny."

Liara frowned. She still wasn't sure she was understanding the nuances of human military discipline. "What about those of us who aren't in your military?"

"I don't know. There aren't a lot of precedents for this kind of operation." He glanced at Shepard's door again. "If she's right, and we catch Saren, they'll be happy to turn a blind eye."

"I see." She drank her tea. "You should go talk to her," she said, noting how his eyes kept drifting toward the door.

He shook his head. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Why not? Unless you want to argue with her."

He managed a laugh, a raspy little chuckle. "No. Not now. I'm committed, I just... don't want to complicate things."

She took a last swallow and set her cup down. "They aren't complicated already?"

"A lot could go wrong with this mission. I don't…" He shook his head as he trailed off.

"Which would you regret more, if something did go wrong? Going in, or not going in?"

He gave her a long stare, then picked up the fork again and resumed chasing the crumbs around the empty plate. The conversation was over. The decision, his to make.

Liara stood, stretching her neck and shoulders. "Good night, Kaidan."

He murmured a response and she went around to the elevator. As she stepped inside, she thought she heard Shepard's door open and close.

* * *

><p>The cargo bay was relatively empty. Two humans were over at the requisitions desk, talking in subdued voices. Liara wondered where Wrex had gone. Garrus was right where she'd expected him to be, at his usual workstation.<p>

"Still working?" she asked, trying for a light tone, not entirely successfully.

He turned to face her. "Running some last minute checks," he said, sounding as unsettled as she felt. His hands were clenching and unclenching, not quite rhythmically.

She reached out and worked her hands around his, squeezing. "I'm nervous, too," she said, feeling herself blush a little. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep. Who knows what we'll find on the other side of the relay? We may not have much time, and… I want to spend it with you."

He looked startled for a moment, before his mandibles relaxed into a tentative smile. "Hmm. Flattering," he said, quietly. "I'd like that, too."

They looked around. The two humans at requisitions seemed preoccupied with whatever they were doing. No one else was in the hold. When she looked at Ashley's old workstation, Liara couldn't help imagining her turning around with a grin and a wink. Garrus quietly opened the hatch of the Mako.

She arched a brow. "Really?"

He just grinned.

They slipped in as stealthily as they could, locking the hatch behind them.

The space was confined, but there was room enough for two people to peel each other out of armor and clothing, room enough to explore skin and plate over supple muscle; room enough to hold each other, meld body and mind. In the end, Liara lay bonelessly on Garrus's chest, her head against the ridge of his cowl, conscious of the sweat dewing her body and the vaguely metallic scent of his, and of the way his chest rose and fell under her with each slow breath.

* * *

><p>In the days after the battle, the fear and exhaustion and general chaos of combat faded quickly from her memory. Instead, Liara remembered the strangest things. The nearly heart-stopping terror she felt during the initial drop, the Mako barely coming to a halt before the tunnel entrance slammed shut before it. The strange, heavy atmosphere of Ilos and her worry over the possibility of damaging the the carvings and sculptures: ridiculous, when not only their own survival, but also the fate of the entire galaxy, was at stake. Still, she would have liked to take the time to study everything, and she gave the Vigil VI a wistful, lingering glance over her shoulder as she hurried to rejoin the rest of the team before that last rush to the Conduit.<p>

The sight of the Presidium in flames lingered with her, and so did the memory of disorientation as they made their way around the outside of the Citadel tower, no real point of reference for _up_ or _down_, alert for enemies at every turn, with the vast bulk of Sovereign moving in the distance, its uncanny mechanical roar filling her ears. Those memories haunted her nightmares for a long time afterward, merging with the visions from the beacon into a cacophony of destruction from which she would wake sweating and choking on a scream.

But in the immediate aftermath, all of that was swept away by exhaustion and the sheer euphoria of having survived and even prevailed.

Dr. Chakwas told her it was a wonder none of them had been wounded more seriously. Especially Shepard. The time they'd spent waiting in the ruins, thinking that she'd been crushed in the wreckage, was horrible to remember. But then she had emerged, bruised and limping and clutching her injured arm, but still smirking at their awestruck stares.

There was an official awards ceremony, with speeches, and medals for all of them, though Shepard was, of course, the center of attention. Liara was strangely relieved; having all those eyes focused on her, even for a moment, as the medal settled around her neck, made her skin prickle all over.

The after-party, as Shepard put it, was mostly just the Normandy crew, much later, at Flux. Despite the damage to the Wards, the nightclub was up and running. Most of the quasar machines weren't working, there were holes in the ceiling, and they had to skirt their way around rubble and Keepers to get there, but it was worth it.

"I'm fairly sure Doran isn't licensed to be serving all that stuff," Garrus said, observing the quantity of brightly hued beverages making their way across the bar. "Fortunately for him, I don't care right now."

"You're such a cop sometimes, Garrus," Shepard said, giggling. Liara blinked, wondering just how much the commander had had to drink.

Not that she'd been buying. Doran had informed them as soon as they came in that all the drinks were on the house for the Normandy crew. A decent-sized crowd gathered in the club as the night went on, including a number of turians and asari serving with the Council fleet. Many of them offered Shepard drinks once they recognized her, even though others gave her wary looks. But Liara didn't hear anyone talking openly about the loss of the Destiny Ascension.

Shepard had had enough of whatever she was drinking to be flushed and smiling and leaning on Kaidan's shoulder. He seemed a lot more sober—still more relaxed than his usual demeanor, but he glanced warily at passing humans in uniform. Liara thought he shouldn't be so worried. Now, of all times, no one was going to report the Savior of the Citadel for anything. Ashley would have told him so, if she were here...

Liara suppressed a sigh and sipped her own drink. In spite of the celebration, she missed Ashley.

The music changed to something with a strong beat. Shepard jumped up and tugged on Kaidan's arm. "Come on," she urged.

He laughed. "I'm not a good dancer, Shepard," he said, but he got to his feet, reluctantly.

"Neither am I," she said, towing him toward the dance floor, and whatever else she said was lost in the noise.

That left Tali, Liara, and Garrus sitting at their table. Garrus shot Liara a sideways look. "No," he said.

"I didn't ask," Liara pointed out.

Tali said, "Aw, come on, Garrus, why not? You two would be so cute on the dance floor."

"That is exactly why," he said, taking a drink. "Turians are not cute. Turians don't dance, either."

"That is not true. Look, there are some turians out there dancing right now."

Liara and Garrus both looked in the direction she indicated. There were, indeed, a few turians on the dance floor. None seemed to lack a sense of rhythm.

"Fine," Garrus grumbled. "A tiny minority of deviant turians do dance."

"You're not afraid, are you?"

Garrus pointed a finger at Tali. "No. Just no. You're not getting me out there with that tactic."

"Shepard was right, she really isn't good," said Liara, trying to distract them from their usual jabbing at each other. They both turned to the dancers. Shepard wasn't doing much more than shuffling her feet in place and wiggling her hips, her arms draped around Kaidan's shoulders. At least he'd loosened up enough to smile at her.

Tali laughed. "She's really not. Wait, is that Dr. Chakwas?"

"It is," said Garrus, sounding astonished. Liara nearly choked on her drink, watching the silver-haired human doctor glide through the crowd of dancers with more grace and poise than most of them.

"That's it," said Tali. "You two can stay here if you want. I'm going to have some fun." She bounced out of her seat and over to the dance floor, tapping Dr. Chakwas on the shoulder. Her slim frame was quickly obscured by the dancers around her.

"We're fun," Garrus said in an injured tone.

Liara finished her drink and looked at the empty glass, trying to decide whether she wanted a refill. "You know she's just teasing you."

"Are you sure she wasn't teasing you?" He inched closer, and his arm slipped around her shoulders.

"I meant about the dancing." She leaned into his side a little, soaking up his warmth.

"Oh, I knew that." His voice was close to her ear, his head tilted toward hers. The heat of his breath and the vibration of his voice seemed to run down her spine.

"I'm not a particularly good dancer myself," she murmured. Their thighs were resting side by side, and somehow her hand drifted from her own lap to his leg. She could feel solid muscle and bone and the edges of his plating under her fingers.

His mandible brushed against her cheek as he spoke. "Do you want to get out of here? My apartment's mostly intact."

She turned her head and pressed her lips against his throat, feeling a thrill of satisfaction when his breath hitched in response. "Oh, yes."

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note: Sorry for the delay on this one. A bit of writer's block plus some real-life distractions took their toll. Thanks to Smehur for beta reading and Theodosius for the gentle nudge to post the chapter. I hate to say I expect to update more regularly, because I did that before and then ran into problems... but my summer schedule is pretty clear, and I do hope to get a chapter up every week or two. (In other words, the original Mass Effect storyline may end here, but this story isn't over.)<em>


	13. Falling

_**Chapter Thirteen: Falling**_

Three weeks after what everyone was now calling the Battle of the Citadel, the Normandy set out again, her crew still a little the worse for wear.

Between the celebrations, the medical appointments, and the official meetings, Shepard somehow found time to meet with each of the crew. Liara felt absurdly anxious when it was her turn.

"Commander," she said, hesitating at the entrance to Shepard's cabin, where she'd never been before.

Shepard waved at an empty chair. "Come on in and sit down. And relax, Liara. Everything's fine."

"All right." She did as instructed, folding her hands in her lap. "Do you need me to leave the crew?" She'd been prepared for such a possibility; they all had been. The four non-humans had thought perhaps the Alliance wouldn't want them on their ship any more, and with their mission completed, there was no telling what Shepard's next assignment would be. Liara had tried to think about what she might do—go to Serrice, perhaps, try to get support for a proper exploration of Ilos. But everything seemed flat in comparison to the friendship and shared purpose she'd found on the Normandy.

"No, not at all." Shepard leaned forward. "I'd like to ask you to stay."

Liara blinked. A thrill surged through her, mingled with confusion. "Really, Commander? I confess, that comes as a bit of a surprise."

Shepard shook her head. "Don't underestimate yourself, Liara. You're a hell of a biotic and an excellent researcher, and I know you've worked very hard to get up to speed in combat. I have every confidence in your abilities. Let me tell you the situation."

Liara nodded, settling herself a little more comfortably into the chair.

"The Council—well, the temporary government—is still concerned about the geth presence. The Normandy's being sent on a three-month cruise to find and eliminate the remaining geth outposts, particularly in the Traverse and the Terminus Systems."

"All right," said Liara slowly.

Shepard grinned. "I can see you thinking 'how do I fit into that?' That's the _official_ mission. But I've been talking privately with Anderson and some of the other Alliance brass. We'll also be looking for more information on the Reapers, which means Prothean artifacts. Quietly. And that's where I need you."

It would be much like the last few months, then. Anticipation made her heart beat faster, but she didn't want to rush into the decision. "I… think I'd like that, Commander. But do you need an answer right away? May I take a little time to think it over?"

"Of course. And remember, it's only a three-month commitment. You can leave, or we can discuss the situation again, after that."

Liara left Shepard's cabin to find Tali pacing outside, her hands twisting together. She came up to Liara immediately. "Are you staying? It just won't be the same without you."

"I need to think about it. I'd like to stay, but I wasn't expecting this." She glanced sideways at Tali. "I'm surprised you're staying. I thought you wanted to complete your Pilgrimage."

"I do, and I will. But I can stay a few more months. Working on a state-of-the-art ship is like a dream come true, Liara. I'm not ready to give that up yet."

Liara nodded. "I need to think about it," she repeated.

Tali snorted. "Uh-huh. I know what you need to think about."

Liara blushed and glared at her. Tali laughed in response and patted her arm.

* * *

><p>Liara knew where Garrus was; he'd had his appointment with Shepard earlier in the day, and they'd planned to meet after hers. She picked her way around the rubble that still strewed the Wards and knocked on the door of his apartment. "It's me," she called.<p>

"It's open," his muffled voice responded.

Liara went in and found him cleaning, removing the scorch marks that were a legacy of the attack, which had overloaded electrical systems all over the Citadel. He straightened up as soon as she came in. "Did you talk to Shepard?"

"Yes."

"And?"

Her fingers were toying with the fabric of her skirt. "She asked me to stay on board."

"Good." He put the cleaning things aside, rinsed off his hands, and came toward her.

"What about you?"

"Oh, I'm staying. I already told her so. She's putting my name forward for Spectre candidacy."

"Really?" Liara couldn't conceal the surprise in her voice. She added hastily, "I mean, that's wonderful, but I didn't realize you'd decided to do it."

"Shepard suggested it. It's not a fast process, and she thought it would be best to get things moving, if that's what I wanted."

"And you're sure that is what you want?" she asked cautiously. "It seems like such a big step."

"It is, but I have the experience. I can't imagine going back to C-Sec, not after working with Shepard for this long." His voice was full of confidence. "I always wanted to be a Spectre when I was younger, but now I really think I'm ready."

"Then I'm glad for you." She stepped forward into his embrace, her own arms settling lightly around his chest.

This close, she could feel the reverberations of his voice in her own chest when he said, "Thanks. I mean, nothing will be decided until the new Council's in place, but I think I have a shot with Shepard's support. And until then, I prefer to stay on board."

Liara nodded, feeling the warmth of his body through their clothing. "Have you... talked to your family at all?"

"I let them know I'm all right."

"That wasn't exactly what I meant," she said, looking up into his face.

His mandibles flickered out and in. "You said it yourself. I'm not going to live my life according to Dad's rules any more. And telling him about this will only provoke another fight. I told Sol."

It wasn't her place to push the point, and she couldn't blame him for not wanting to argue with his father any further. She nodded again and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"But what about you? Are you staying?"

She smiled a little at the hopeful tone of his voice. "Do you want me to?"

"You don't need to ask that," he said, tilting his head down to rub his cheek plate lightly against her forehead. She lifted her own face to kiss him, a kiss which turned deeper and longer than she'd intended. He'd become good at this, very quickly, and she liked the taste and texture of his tongue sliding against hers.

"Then yes," she said eventually, and smiled at him. "Though we won't have as much privacy."

"Oh, I know," he said, beginning to nip gently at the side of her neck and pulling her flush against him. She sighed and leaned into him, sliding her hands down to feel the flex of muscle at his waist and the flaring angles of his hips.

They had had plenty of opportunity, in the last weeks. They'd all slept like the dead for a day or two after the battle, but afterwards they'd been largely at liberty. The two of them had spent most of their time together, enjoying the opportunity to be alone, and an apartment to be alone in. Talking, exploring, learning each other. She'd gotten used to that concave bed, which was really not at all a bad place to sleep… especially when tucked up against a warm turian body, her back to his chest, his arm around her waist. She'd been told in the past that, though turians tended to be formal and even aloof in public, maintaining a stoic decorum, in private, among intimates, they were usually much more tactile. Her experience of the last few weeks suggested that was true, at least of Garrus.

He slipped his hands down her backside and under her thighs, scooping her up without effort and carrying her the short distance into the bedroom. "I suggest we make the most of the time and privacy we do have."

"I like the way you think," she said, a little breathless.

He deposited her gently on the bed, leaning over her, and she pulled him down with her. She'd discovered how much she liked feeling his heat and weight against her. Finding the clasps of his shirt was no longer any difficulty; she opened it up and pushed it off his shoulders while he pulled her own clothing off. The pleasurable friction of his rougher skin against hers made her groan and smile at the rumbling she got in answer. She already felt the tug in her mind, the urge to meld, but there was also a certain pleasure to be had in delaying it as long as possible, focusing on the physical, observing his reactions. She'd been learning what he liked: her fingers at the back of his neck and under his fringe, her mouth pressing kisses against the soft skin of his throat. She added a swift nip for variety, and was rewarded with a deep double-toned groan vibrating on her lips. His hands were busy, too, caressing her breasts just the way _he'd_ learned that _she_ liked. Her other hand moved down his body, tugging at his pants until she found a way inside, and traced one finger deliberately along the edges of the widening slit between his legs.

He shuddered, his whole frame seizing against her, his breath coming in gasps, almost like it hurt. But he was opening up further at her touch, and rubbed his face against her neck. She bit the side of his neck again, a little harder this time. And he _growled_, which she wasn't quite expecting, and his erection swelled rapidly in her hand. Curious, she let her mind reach for his and gasped at the contact, all passion, intensity, and urgency. He was fumbling with his trousers, so she helped push them down. She could tell what he wanted through the meld, and so she spread her thighs obligingly, bringing her knees nearly to her shoulders. He put his hands on the back of her thighs to open her even wider and pushed into her, not too fast, but firmly and without hesitation.

In this position, he filled her deeply and perfectly, and she cried out at the doubled sensations, his and hers, pervading her mind. He was still for a second, but he knew from the meld that she was in no pain, rather that she was trembling with sheer pleasure. He began to move more freely, intent on his own release, and Liara rode the building rush of sensation with him, until the wave crested and broke and they both lay spent and breathing hard.

Moments like this were how she best remembered those few weeks between the battle and shipping out again, moments that became far fewer when they once again took their places in the Normandy.

* * *

><p>In the end, they all stayed, even Wrex. Liara had no idea what Shepard had said to the krogan to keep him on board, and Wrex wasn't telling. After undocking and departing from the Citadel, they had an impromptu celebration in the mess. Shepard filled everyone's glasses with something sparkling and held hers up. With a grin, she said, "All right. Here's to a new mission and to the best damn crew in the galaxy."<p>

"Hear, hear," said Kaidan, and everyone clinked glasses around the table.

It wasn't long before the excitement of that first night faded, replaced by shipwide irritation. The geth that they encountered seemed fewer in number, disorganized, little challenge for them. With Shepard's permission, Garrus and Wrex set up a tally board to keep track of everyone's kills, to keep things interesting, they said. The stealth drive was in use almost constantly, raising the temperature inside the ship significantly, making the humans hot and cranky.

Liara didn't have nearly enough to do. They weren't turning up much new data of any sort, and their previous discoveries of Prothean artifacts were no longer on board for study. She spent far too much time at her terminal, trying to make work for herself, idly searching the extranet, or simply daydreaming. She missed the regular intimacy of the previous few weeks. To make matters worse, Garrus was scrupulously professional almost all of the time, avoiding anything but the most casual physical contact when anyone else was present. It was so very _turian_ of him, which made her feel both intensely fond and intensely frustrated. Asari were much more relaxed about such things, even in military units; Liara remembered seeing several couples among Benezia's commando squad exchanging kisses or hugs regularly. She respected Garrus's preference, but she didn't entirely like it. On the few occasions when they did manage to find time alone, the sex was a little too hasty to be entirely satisfying.

All in all, it was a difficult couple of weeks. Even the routine geth missions became fewer and farther between. Shepard spent more and more time in the comm room talking to Alliance or Council staff and always came out with a dark expression. Everyone was hot, bored, and irritable.

It only took a moment for everything to change.

* * *

><p>It was astonishing, how quickly the ship she'd come to think of as home could descend into chaos. The Normandy shuddered from impact and veered, in a way that Liara hoped was intentional, and not out of control. Alarms blared and half the ship seemed to be on fire. Liara was trying to push down her terror and remember the evacuation drill they'd run weeks earlier. Crew deck. Her responsibility was to help evacuate the crew deck, since that was where she was stationed.<p>

The familiar environment of the ship was distorted with smoke, fire, and the red glare of warning lights. Two of the human crew were struggling, coughing on the thick smoke, eyes streaming with tears; Liara helped them along toward the nearest escape pod.

It was nearly full. Dr. Chakwas was already there, wearing an oxygen mask. She guided the two crew into empty seats and indicated that Liara should take one of the remaining two seats.

Liara hesitated. "Shouldn't I go back and help others?"

Dr. Chakwas shook her head. "This pod needs to go, _now_. You've done your duty."

Reluctantly, Liara complied, sitting down and buckling the harness around herself. Good thing she had a nearly-human physiology, she thought, and then had a moment's panic about whether the pods could handle other non-human physiologies. Tali should be all right, but Wrex and Garrus were of different proportions.

Shepard wouldn't allow an oversight like that to endanger any of her crew, she told herself firmly.

The pod ejected with a jolt. Through the tiny windows, she caught glimpses of the white surface of the planet below. Worse, she caught glimpses of the Normandy. Her eyes widened at the scope of the damage: a great gash, the hull torn as if it had been wet paper, orange and red flames flickering where there was still enough oxygen to feed them.

What could possibly have attacked them? She half expected to see the dark bulk of a Reaper blotting out the stars, but she had only a confused impression of something large, dark, encrusted with lumps, and a terrifyingly brilliant beam that left a sharp afterimage when she shut her eyes.

The pod seemed to veer and tumble as it descended toward the planet. Liara was grateful for the restraints holding her in place. She fought down her own panic and nausea, trying desperately to maintain some shred of calm. She felt the thrusters fire, but the impact still snapped her hard against her seat, the restraining harness tight against her chest and hips.

The stillness that followed was a relief. In the quiet, she could hear the breathing of the rest of the pod's occupants and a few stifled sobs. Somebody began gasping. Dr. Chakwas unstrapped herself. "Liara, please check the exterior sensors," she said, going to tend to the person in distress.

Liara unbuckled her harness, surprised to find her hands still steady. The escape pod's sensors showed a frigid temperature and a thick methane-ammonia atmosphere. She reported this and glanced around the pod. None of them had the necessary equipment to survive for long in those conditions. Dr. Chakwas nodded briskly. "We should have enough supplies in here to last for a few days," she said. "The pod's locator beacon will help our rescuers find us."

It was a long night. They huddled in their pod, wrapped in the blankets from the emergency stores and using their rations sparingly. Partway through the night, Liara heard an anxious voice over the pod's radio: "Is anybody there? This is Tali'Zorah—"

Liara reached for the radio. "Tali? Are you all right? This is Liara."

Tali gave a huge sigh of relief. "Oh, Liara, I'm so glad—can you help? I'm fine, but we're mostly from Engineering in here, and there are a lot of injuries—"

Dr. Chakwas got up, and Liara traded places with her so she could walk Tali through the appropriate procedures. Each pod had a supply of medi-gel and other basic medical supplies; they could only hope it would be enough to last until help arrived.

The Alliance cruiser Barcelona arrived late the next day to retrieve the survivors; some pods had drifted in space, while others had fallen to the surface of Alchera. Liara left her pod gladly and followed the directions of the Barcelona's crew, who were checking the Normandy survivors against the crew manifest. She gathered very quickly that they had suffered numerous losses. Some, like Pressly, were confirmed dead; an ensign who'd been in the CIC had seen him die. Others remained unaccounted for.

Worst of all, Shepard was missing.

Tali gasped when she heard the news and began to cry quietly. Liara put her arms around her, feeling numb, and the clung together for a while. The mood in the cargo hold where they were staying had instantly become darker, and the Barcelona crew members who were working with them suddenly looked grimmer. Tali left Liara for a time to check on the injured engineers. Sitting alone, Liara spied Wrex among the growing crowd of Normandy survivors, brushing off any assistance. Garrus emerged from the bustle, looking around; she rose to her feet and started toward him even as he spotted her.

"Are you all right?" he asked as soon as they were close enough to speak, his voice raspy.

She tried to smile. "I'm not hurt," she said. Actually, she ached across the front of her shoulders, chest, and hips, but she was fairly sure it was only bruises from the harness. "You?"

He tilted his head to the side. "Yeah. Not hurt."

She stepped into him and put her arms around him, tightening her hold with a little desperation. She didn't care, at this moment, about propriety or professionalism. His answering grip was just as tight, and she rested her head against his shoulder. She felt so relieved they were both unharmed, and tried to push down the guilty feeling that it was selfish to think that way. "I'm so glad to see you," she said, her throat thick.

"You, too," he said in a low voice that sent tremors through her.

She said, "But Shepard—" and couldn't go on

"I know," he said softly.

The pall spread over the whole ship as the word went out that Shepard was missing. Everyone from the Normandy was questioned about the circumstances of the attack, even though most of them had little to say. Nobody could identify the vessel with any confidence; few had even seen it. Only Joker and Kaidan had seen Shepard in those crucial last few minutes. Joker gave his testimony from his bed in the Barcelona's infirmary, and told the rest of them what had happened later, in the mess hall. She had never seen Joker like that before, his usual smug confidence vanished, pale under his stubble. He had trouble meeting anyone's eyes, especially Kaidan's. For his part, Kaidan seemed to have drawn in on himself, jaw tight, eyes shadowed, stiff and following protocol.

By the time they got back to the Citadel, Liara had done a lot of listening, pacing the corridors of the unfamiliar ship in a borrowed set of Alliance fatigues. The talk among the Barcelona's crew was that there were serious political currents at work. There had been some resistance to sending a rescue mission at all, and the mere presence of the Normandy in the Terminus Systems was already provoking criticism. She had the impression that the Alliance and the Council would rather keep the whole situation quiet, but she didn't see how that was possible. Too many people already knew, and Shepard's death was going to have repercussions that she couldn't quite foresee.

No. Not death. Possibly not. They still hadn't recovered her body, and Liara kept turning that fact over and over in her mind.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks as ever to Smehur for beta reading.<em>


	14. Departure

_Author's Note: Due to the ongoing business with fiction ratings and story deletions on this site, I wanted to alert readers that I also have an account on archiveofourown dot org (same username). This story is not yet up on that site, but I will eventually copy it there, so that in the event it disappears from this site there will be another copy available. _

_Thanks as always to Smehur for beta reading._

_Now, on with the story._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter Fourteen: Departure<strong>_

It should have been raining, but it never rained on the Citadel. The funeral took place on the Presidium, which was only partly cleaned up from the battle, though most of the large debris had been removed. The marks of fire and gunshots still marred the walls, and Keepers moved busily about, even during the service. Knowing what they knew now, that the Keepers were constructs, creatures modified by the Reapers to maintain the station, made their presence more unsettling.

Liara stood under the Presidium's constant, even light, feeling awkward in a sober black dress she'd purchased for the occasion because she knew it was the traditional garb for human funerals. She felt out of place, even though she recognized the human crew present, and they were all in dark colors, too, or their Alliance dress blues. Garrus was back in his C-Sec dress uniform, Wrex was wearing his battered family battle armor, and Tali had draped black scarves over her suit. The four of them sat in a row together, standing out as the only non-humans present. Liara had never been to a human funeral service before, and the whole ritual seemed terribly alien. She wondered at the pretense, the closed and empty coffin draped with a flag. One person after another rose to make a stiff speech about Shepard's career, but hardly any of them said anything of substance, anything that reflected the Shepard Liara had known. They talked about loyal service, about selflessness, about victory against the geth threat. _The geth threat_, she noted distantly. Not the truth. The newly-minted Councilor Anderson came the closest to presenting an accurate view of Shepard, in Liara's opinion, speaking of her stubbornness, her commitment to a cause. He almost, but not quite, admitted that there was more to her demise than the geth alone.

At an asari funeral, those who had touched the mind of the deceased would have been asked to speak or share memories with those gathered, a testament to the unique personality of the deceased individual. Liara was one of the few who had any contact with Shepard's mind. If she'd been asked, what would she have said? Perhaps this would be a true testament: _Shepard pursued her goals ruthlessly, but would adapt whenever she found a better path to her destination; Shepard would destroy an enemy without remorse, but knew and stood by her people without holding any of herself back._ Even that, she thought, was not quite correct, a little romanticized. She could do better if she thought about it longer. But it wasn't an asari funeral, and no one had asked her to speak.

Liara couldn't help thinking that Shepard herself would probably have laughed at the whole thing and kept up a mocking running commentary, and that was when she actually began to cry. She cried harder when Hannah Shepard rose to speak; she looked like the commander, though her face was more heavily lined, and her voice broke when she spoke of her daughter's youth. Liara tried to suppress her tears, her shoulders shaking, but Garrus put an arm around her and pulled her into him. With the other hand he offered a handkerchief, which she accepted gratefully. She managed to get herself mostly under control by the time the service ended, although she teared up again when Dr. Chakwas came to hug her and say good-bye.

Afterwards, they found a quiet, dark bar in the Wards, an ill-assorted group, still in their funeral dress. Liara found that she could hardly even look at Kaidan, whose face had a bleak, closed-off expression she'd never seen before. Wrex set some ghastly-colored concoction in front of him without comment, and Kaidan drank it without asking what it was, though he shuddered afterward. Liara cleared her throat and broke the silence. "Dr. Chakwas said you were all leaving tomorrow?"

"Yeah." Kaidan stared into space. "We ship out to Arcturus for debriefing and reassignment."

"Debriefing about what?" asked Garrus. "Nobody knows a damn thing."

Kaidan shrugged. There was an awkward silence, before Wrex said, "I'm leaving tomorrow myself."

Tali asked, "Where are you going?"

"Tuchanka."

Another pause. Liara tried to think of something polite to say about the krogan homeworld. She knew Wrex was unlikely to answer any questions about what he intended to do there. She settled for saying, "Good luck on your journey."

Wrex grunted and knocked back his ryncol.

Tali's fingers tapped nervously on the table. "I have a ticket for the day after tomorrow."

"Ticket to where?" Garrus asked. "The Flotilla going to pick you up in the middle of nowhere?"

"Of course not. I'm taking a commercial flight to Illium. A quarian ship will meet me there."

"Don't sign anything on Illium," said Liara automatically.

"I know better than that."

Their talk was stiff and stilted. Tali filled the silence as best she could with chatter about the Migrant Fleet. Kaidan seemed intent on drinking himself into oblivion as quickly as possible. Eventually, Wrex looked skeptically at the human, slumping in his seat, and rumbled, "Someone had better get him somewhere to sleep it off."

Garrus stood. "I know where he's staying. Come on, Alenko."

Kaidan muttered something but didn't resist when Garrus hauled him to his feet, swaying. "I'll go with you," Liara said, rising to join them.

Tali and Wrex said their farewells. Liara and Garrus escorted Kaidan to the Alliance officers' apartments in near-silence, making sure he got inside his own temporary quarters before they departed.

"So," said Garrus as they walked back to the transit stop, "you didn't say if you were going anywhere."

"I… don't really have anywhere I want to go," Liara admitted. "I thought I'd stay on the Citadel for a while. I need to think about what I want to do next."

He nodded, not quite looking at her. "Do you, ah… need somewhere to stay?"

Liara hesitated. Nominally, she'd been sharing a hostel room with Tali for the few days they'd been on the Citadel. Actually, she'd spent more in Garrus's apartment. "Are you offering? I didn't want to presume."

"You'd be welcome. I mean, if you want to."

"I'd like that," she said softly, found his hand, and gave it a brief squeeze. "Are you staying on the Citadel long?"

He sighed. "For a while. It'll be some time before I hear about the Spectre training. Until then, there's C-Sec."

"I thought you weren't planning to go back."

"I wasn't. Some of the guys have persuaded me, though. They're—we're really short-handed, after the battle. People are even coming out of retirement to help out. I have a shift in the morning, actually. I would have told you before, but it came up suddenly."

Liara nodded. "That makes sense," she said. That was probably why he'd had so few drinks during the evening.

"I, um. I don't know how much free time I'll have."

"Don't worry. I don't expect you to spend every moment with me, and it's important work." She wouldn't have minded, of course, but it was quite unreasonable to expect any such thing. "I should find some way to occupy myself, anyway."

"Yeah. I mean, I didn't plan to go back, but... I'd rather have something to keep me busy."

They walked in silence for a while. Then Liara sighed. "I just can't believe she's gone," she murmured.

"Yeah," he said, a little stiff.

"They never found her body, Garrus. Do you think—"

"No." He was shaking his head resolutely. "From what Joker said, there's no way she could have survived very long."

Liara bit her lip. Her eyes grew wet. She had tried to put this aside, but it just wouldn't leave her alone. The empty coffin. Not _knowing_.

Garrus noticed her quivering and put an arm around her shoulders, warm and heavy.

* * *

><p>Liara saw Tali off two days later. They hugged and promised to write. Liara had little doubt that Tali would follow through, but she wondered if she'd ever see her quarian friend again, or Wrex, or any of the humans. When Tali had boarded her ship with a last wave, she stood alone at the docks, watching the swirl of people of all species moving around her.<p>

"Is this how it ends?" she said to herself softly. "We just go our separate ways?" After all they had been through together, it felt wrong to separate so quickly. But everyone had somewhere to be. Everyone except herself, that is.

Garrus was at work and wouldn't get off-shift for hours. Liara went to C-Sec herself, to a different office, and volunteered for the Citadel clean-up crews. They put her to work right away. In spite of two months of work, and the best efforts of many teams along with the Keepers, there was still a lot to be done. She moved rubble with her biotics until she was exhausted, she met up with Garrus after his shift, and they both collapsed into sleep.

So went the next few days. Garrus's shifts at C-Sec tended to be long, often double. He was extremely apologetic about this, but Liara brushed it off, recognizing the necessity. Feeling it herself. Her own volunteer shifts tended to be short, however; she could only toil for so long before burning out.

In the end, she found herself with a lot of time on her hands, just like on the Normandy. She tried to fill this in various ways. She pulled out her research notes and contemplated trying to publish some of her findings, or apply for funding for a proper expedition to Ilos. She realized rapidly, however, that such developments were impossible. Too many details of Shepard's mission were classified. And her older research, she could not seem to concentrate on.

Stymied on that front, Liara found her mind constantly returning to Shepard. She spent far too much time on the extranet, scanning through current news: discussions about Shepard's death, rumors that she wasn't really dead, political debates as the lengthy process of electing a new asari councilor continued. She even searched idly for rumors of Cerberus, continuing the research she'd been doing on the Normandy. If she wasn't there, she tended to roam about the Citadel, tired but restless, her mind turning in circles.

She couldn't help thinking about Shepard. She'd been fascinated by her, even feared her a little; Shepard's fierce, uncompromising pursuit of her goals was daunting, though Liara also envied that confidence and firmness of purpose. At one time, she'd been faintly jealous of Shepard's connection to the Protheans. Not for the visions themselves, because Liara knew for herself how wrenching and disturbing they were; but the visions, and the Cipher, allowed Shepard to understand the Protheans in a way that Liara never could, in spite of all the time and effort she'd poured into her studies. She'd certainly admired and respected Shepard, and dared to count her as a friend—with a little hesitation, perhaps. Shepard was such a force that it was difficult to think of her in such mundane terms as _friendship_.

The more she thought about it, the more she felt that Shepard's loss was a tragedy. Not just a personal tragedy: one on a galactic scale. The galaxy needed Shepard's leadership. No one else could possibly convince the galactic powers that the Reapers were the real threat. Liara observed with alarm how quickly talk of the war and the geth and the Reapers faded out of the news. The media became much more concerned with politics: the ongoing asari elections, speculation about the likely stances of the new turian and salarian councilors, discussion of how the addition of humans to the council would alter the balance of power, complaints from the volus about not attaining a council seat of their own. Beyond that, talk of human colonization efforts, tension with the batarians, criticism from powers in the Terminus systems about the Normandy's presence in the Amada system, about the rescue mission, about the existence of the ship's stealth technology at all. As if these were the things that really mattered, and not the possibility of invasion by synthetic forces bent on universal destruction. Human fleets were still destroying geth outposts in the traverse, and so were turian fleets in some regions, but gradually references to Reapers disappeared from the mainstream, respectable news sources. The media referred to Sovereign as Saren's flagship, or a geth dreadnought, but not as the sentient entity it had been.

Only in certain niches of the extranet were people talking about the Reapers. And while there was a streak of paranoia in such conversations… they weren't, in fact, wrong about the threat. And in those same corners, Liara found some of the most ardent arguments that Shepard hadn't died after all.

They hadn't found her body, a fact Liara could not forget. From what Kaidan said, the Alliance had given up looking, partly due to the ongoing political tensions about their presence in the Terminus. What if she hadn't died? What if she'd been injured, but had survived somehow? What if she'd been recovered by… someone else? What if she needed help?

Garrus was a little short with her when she floated these questions. "People do die, Liara. Even heroes."

"But how can we be sure?" she protested. "They're not even looking for her any more."

He heaved a sigh, rubbing his forehead. "I know, and I hate it. If she were turian, we'd damn well find her and bring her home. But she was _spaced_. No one can survive that."

"But—"

"Liara, _please_." His voice cracked, and she flinched. "I don't know why you can't just accept that she's gone."

She stared at him for a moment. It was difficult to see signs of fatigue in turians, but he was sitting on the couch with his shoulders slumped and plates lacking their natural luster. He'd been working such long hours, and she knew he was frustrated with the flood of new regulations being put into place—a clear case, he'd said, of trying to win the previous war instead of fighting the next one. He had talked about Shepard very little, but she suddenly made the connection between his words, his silences, and the way he was throwing himself into his work.

"I'm sorry," she said, laying a hand on his arm. "I'm just thinking out loud. I didn't realize it would upset you."

He put his hand over hers. "Sorry to snap at you. It's… been a long day."

She slid closer, and ended up with her head on his shoulder, their arms wound around each other. They were too exhausted for much beyond that, a state of affairs which was becoming much too frequent, but there was some comfort to be had in the warmth and closeness.

After that, she kept her investigations about Shepard to herself. There would be time enough to tell him if she came up with anything concrete to go on. All she had at the moment were rumors and suspicions. Now that Shepard was gone, critics arose to question her actions during the Battle of the Citadel, and there was a great deal of sneering at her claims about the Reapers. There were some equally vociferous defenders, though. One extranet site she kept coming back to was a manifesto, of sorts; an anonymous, but stirringly written defense of Shepard's role in the Battle of the Citadel and a lament for her loss. It contained veiled references to a "real threat" beyond the geth that remained to be fought, promises that Shepard would return, that her friends needed to be ready and waiting to help her when she came. Fragments of it kept getting quoted and referenced in the extranet forums she read most frequently.

There was something familiar about the rhetorical style, something that she eventually identified, in a flash of clarity. Cerberus. It read like the Cerberus manifestos. It lacked specific allusions to the organization, but it had the same style, the same sort of emphasis: Shepard as, above all, a _human_ hero, seen as representing humanity's interests on the galactic stage. Liara didn't like this appropriation of Shepard, especially when anonymous posters attributed pro-human sentiments to her that Liara had never heard her express. She couldn't help but be grateful for the defense, though, no matter the source.

She didn't give up her explorations, although she found herself wiping the terminal's extranet history regularly so that Garrus wouldn't know what she was doing. Many of the rumors swirled around Omega station. Omega was not really a place where news could be trusted, but it was also close to the site of the Normandy's destruction. Encouragingly close. Liara checked her accounts and found a pleasantly tidy sum, the result of her inheritance from Benezia and some pay as Shepard's consultant coming through. Cautiously, and with some trepidation, she hired an information trader to look into certain rumors about Shepard's demise.

After a time, she got a reply from Feron, the agent she'd hired:

_There are some possibilities worth looking into. I should have more for you soon. _

And later:

_If you truly hope to help your friend, you'll have to move soon. Meet me on Omega._

Liara swallowed. She needed to make a decision, and quickly.

* * *

><p>She had three options. She could choose to do nothing, let whatever lead Feron had found evaporate. Any hope of finding Shepard would disappear forever. The thought of that was hard to bear.<p>

She could ask Garrus to come with her. She wanted to. She wanted his wit and strength and skills with her, to complement her own. But… he didn't believe there was any possibility of Shepard's survival. Liara didn't have any solid evidence to show him. He would certainly not think much of her plan to go to Omega, meet with her agent, and pursue something that might be no more than rumors. He would argue every step of the way. He would try to convince her she was being foolish, that she needed to face up to the reality of Shepard's death. And that led her right back to her first option.

Her third choice: go to Omega alone to meet her contact. It would be dangerous, but she was not without her own strengths. Maybe… she needed to become stronger yet, more independent. Maybe she needed to stop relying on Shepard or Garrus to pull her out of a tight spot. Shepard wouldn't let anyone dissuade her from doing what she thought was necessary. Liara shouldn't, either, especially when it was Shepard herself who might need help.

She hated making decisions quickly. She turned this one over in her mind for as long as she dared.

* * *

><p>She made the necessary arrangements, even as she continued to weigh the options in her mind, and met up with Garrus for a late dinner one night when he finished his shift. He was in a better mood than usual, saying, "I got good news today: I'm accepted into the new class of Spectre recruits. Training starts next week."<p>

Liara blinked. Her stomach lurched, and her throat felt tight when she said, "I thought they wouldn't decide until the Council had been selected."

"Three of the four councilors have taken office. Apparently they think that's sufficient. I gather the new turian councilor, Quentius, feels the ranks of the Spectres are too diminished." He flicked her a quick grin. "It's not our fault the asari election process is slow."

"We like to take our time with important decisions," she said mildly, distracted by her own decision. She hadn't quite made up her mind whether to ask him to join her or not, but now... she couldn't possibly do it. He'd wanted this for far too long, and he'd likely flourish as a Spectre. She couldn't ask him to uproot himself, abandon his job and his prospects, for a search she knew he didn't believe in.

He was saying something else, making a joke about asari versus turian culture that she hadn't been paying attention to at all.

"Garrus," she said abruptly, because she had to say it now if she was going through with it. "I've been thinking I should go back to Thessia for a while."

He stopped short and stared at her, all the humor and energy draining from his expression. "What?"

She swallowed. This was going to be harder than she'd thought. She said, "I just need to go home for a while and clear my head."

His jaw clamped tight, and his gaze shifted away from her. She winced at the momentary hurt that flashed through his eyes. "Okay," he said. "Okay. When are you going? For how long?" His voice was a little rough, though he was clearly trying to keep it calm and controlled.

"I'm taking a flight out tomorrow. I don't know for how long."

His glance snapped up then, eyes blazing. "Tomorrow? Just like that? You must have been thinking about this for a while. Why didn't you say something earlier?"

She squirmed under his sharp stare. "I'm sorry." Her voice came out small and faltering. "You've been working so hard and I didn't want to bother you."

"Bother me?" he snapped. "Spirits." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Liara felt sick as she watched his face; all the usual vitality smoothed out as the classic impassive turian expression descended over it like a mask. When he opened his eyes, they were cool and steady, betraying almost nothing of what he was thinking. "Are you coming back?"

"I... don't know when."

"I see," he said, tone flat. "Do you have everything you need from the apartment?"

"Yes," she whispered. She'd made sure to pack her possessions, just in case. Between the disaster on Therum and the loss of the Normandy, she didn't have many.

He gave one sharp nod. "I'm sure you can find somewhere else for tonight then. You'll have a long flight, and I have to work tomorrow. We should both get some rest." He rose to his feet, tossed a credit chit on the table to cover the meal, and made for the door.

"Garrus—wait—" Liara hastened after him, only catching up with him outside. He turned to face her, his stance rigid, and the words died in her throat. She stammered, "I'm not—it's not about you—"

"Of course not. You need to clear your head, you said. Because it's not clear now."

"I—" Goddess, this could hardly be going worse. She really couldn't blame him for being angry, but she hadn't expected him to close up like this. She'd expected... an interrogation, frankly. The detective at work. His current demeanor was so unlike him that she didn't know how to respond to it at all. "I'll write," she said faintly, fearing even that was a lie.

"Okay," he said, his voice clipped and dry. "Take care of yourself. Have a nice time on Thessia." He turned.

"Garrus," she said, taking one step after him. He stopped and glanced back over his shoulder. "You'll be a great Spectre," she said. "The Council needs you. People who... understand the truth." That what they were facing was not just warfare, but annihilation.

The one mandible she could see flared out and settled back against his jaw with a click. "Yeah," he said, and strode off into the crowd, and then he was gone.

* * *

><p>Garrus sat at his desk, trying not to think about her. About the fact that she was off at the docks somewhere, boarding a flight to go home. To go away.<p>

It made no damn sense. Yes, she'd been quiet and pensive since Shepard's funeral. He'd written it off to grief over Shepard, Williams, her mother. He felt low enough himself, and he had work to occupy his mind. He'd been too busy, maybe, not helping her enough. But she'd never said _anything_ to even _hint_ that she needed more.

When he'd gotten up that morning, the bathroom was still full of the floral aroma of her soap, and the vaguely spicy scent that seemed to be uniquely hers still clung to the bedding. Thinking back over the last few months, he remembered how her brow furrowed when she was working, the tenacity with which she'd thrown herself into training, the unlikely, laughing friendship she'd struck up with Williams and Tali. The openness and honesty and sheer enthusiasm of her reactions as they'd gotten to know each other. She wasn't a good dissembler, Liara; the fumbling and stammering early on in their relationship had looked like teasing until he'd understood how inexperienced she was at friendship, let alone romance. No. Not a good dissembler at all; she barely hid anything she felt.

Except that she _had_ been hiding something. She'd squirmed and flushed under his gaze the night before, barely able to meet his eyes. She must have been lying about something. Nothing else made any sense. It had come up too suddenly. He knew she'd been through a lot. Spirits, hadn't they all? But Liara had been somewhat at loose ends. Probably she'd had too much time to dwell on everything that had happened in the last few months, how she'd been yanked out of her quiet academic life and thrust into a world of violence, treachery, and secrets that even now the Council was busy burying.

So he could believe it, on some level, that she just wanted to go someplace familiar and think, get re-oriented, figure out what she was going to do next. But it didn't make sense that she would leave so abruptly. Unless there was something else. Maybe she'd been unhappy? But she'd _seemed_ happy enough.

Was there... someone else? He hadn't seen any signs of that, either. He'd thought that she cared. She'd said and shown him as much. And while it was difficult to hang on to the fragments of memory and feeling he'd gotten from her, all those times they were together, he'd never noticed anything troubling. He'd thought… hoped… that they might get through the shattering news of Shepard's death, the end of the mission, together. Apparently she felt differently. But why hadn't she said anything?

He drummed his talons absent-mindedly on his desk. It would be easy to investigate and determine whether she was really bound for Thessia. He could even attempt to trace her movements for the last few days to see whether there was something else going on.

He rejected the idea almost at once, disgusted with himself. He was not some stalker, to abuse his position of authority that way. In the back of his mind, his father's voice began to catalog everything that was wrong with that. He pushed it away. He didn't need the old man's ethical judgment. His own was more than sufficient. No, what he should do was simply call her and demand an explanation.

No. He wasn't going to do that, either. Whatever she was hiding, she'd made it quite clear that she wanted to get away from him. So he'd let her. He was damn sure he wasn't going to chase after her, begging for… what? Another lie? Some sop to his ego? Did he really want to know what her reasons were, that she wanted to be free to pursue someone else, or dig up Prothean ruins, or whatever? No. None of that would make it any easier.

_Face it, Garrus,_ he told himself bitterly. _You just became a brief episode in a long asari life, a whirlwind affair to go with a whirlwind mission. This is why you don't date asari. Suck it up. And let her go._


	15. Days of an Information Broker

_**Chapter Fifteen: Days of an Information Broker**_

Liara slumped in her seat on a ship bound for Illium and tried to figure out where everything had gone wrong.

She had been going over and over the whole thing in her head. Feron. Cerberus. The Shadow Broker. The Collectors. She'd made a mistake, trusting Feron, a man who had simultaneously worked for her _and_ Cerberus _and_ the Shadow Broker. Who'd double-crossed her, who'd concealed information from her, who'd been prepared to lead her astray. But he'd also sacrificed himself to let her escape, with Shepard's cryo-pod and the stolen data, and she didn't even know how to feel about that. A knot of anger and guilt seemed to sit in her chest, weighing her down. She owed him so much, and she barely knew him.

She might have made a mistake, turning Shepard's body over to Cerberus. But she didn't know what else she could have done. If she brought the cryo-pod back to the Citadel, they would only lay her to rest. But Miranda Lawson had looked her in the eye and told her they would do what they could to bring Shepard back. She hadn't been certain they would succeed, and Liara doubted she could trust Lawson completely, but the woman's voice had been calm and level, cold but confident.

And what was Liara supposed to do now? Part of her wanted to run back to the Citadel, confess the whole mess to Garrus, and… well, and then what? What could she even say?

_I lied to you, I made a mess of everything, and I handed Shepard's body over to human supremacist terrorists_.

She could just imagine the look in his eyes after she said that, and the mere idea made her cringe. She remembered very well what he'd thought of Cerberus. He'd never forgive her for giving them Shepard. No. She was the one who had made these mistakes, and she was the one who had to make amends, as best she could. She couldn't save Shepard herself, but she could monitor those who claimed they were doing so. She hadn't been able to save Feron from the Shadow Broker's wrath, but she could still try. To do those things, she needed eyes and ears inside Cerberus, and she needed some way to make the Shadow Broker pay. She needed information.

But both Cerberus and the Shadow Broker were powerful enemies; trying to dig into their secrets would be difficult and dangerous. There wouldn't be many information brokers whose skills were up to the task. Most would refuse to help her if she named either of her targets. Those who were good enough, and willing, would be... expensive. Very expensive.

Liara bit her lower lip and brought up her omni-tool to access her accounts. She wasn't poor. She had inherited funds and investments from Benezia. Some of it was still tied up in red tape, and some assets, like her shares in Binary Helix, were now worth less than what Benezia had paid for them. It was enough that Liara could live comfortably for some time, but there was no way she could afford a good information broker's fees. Not for very long, at least.

She would have to act as her own information broker.

She thought about that for a while. She was intelligent. She was good at research, at finding patterns in data. She lacked certain skills, and she lacked contacts. She didn't know all the nuances of the game of information trading. Her experience on Omega made that only too clear. She'd known the stakes were high, she'd known it was dangerous, yet she'd still been unprepared, and it was Feron who was paying the price. Yes, she needed to learn how to play the game.

Fortunately, she'd always been good at learning.

* * *

><p>Illium was an impressive sight, its towering arcologies glittering with prosperity and splendor. And it was clearly designed to impress, this world where almost anything was legal, and asari-owned corporations skirted the laws of the asari republics in order to trade with the Terminus Systems. To Liara, raised on Thessia, where most of the architecture was millennia old, everything on Illium looked a little raw and new, a little too eager to catch the eye and call attention to itself. She sighed at herself; it was a very Benezia-like observation. She knew Illium's reputation and knew she had to be on her guard. She'd known Omega was dangerous and had still underestimated the risks; she needed to be more careful here. There was something simultaneously comforting and off-putting about being surrounded by so many other asari, too, after so long spent mostly in the company of other species, or on her own.<p>

Liara had looked into the information trade, made a few inquiries, and taken a job with an asari named Rolina. She'd considered leaping in on her own, but thought she might be better off learning from someone more experienced; the job opening had come along serendipitously, and there she was. She'd been very careful to check the contract, to make sure it was in no way an indenture.

She was one of three employees and considered herself fortunate to find her colleagues perfectly pleasant. She'd initially thought that Nireen, a cheerful young asari, was merely Rolina's assistant, but soon discovered that her smiling, friendly demeanor calmed the most anxious of clients, and she was excellent at getting people to drop vital information in conversation. Devesh, a salarian, was their "electronics expert," as Rolina put it: in short, their hacker. Liara had been hired for information analysis on a larger scale: observing economic and political trends, fitting the particular pieces of information their clients needed, or provided, into that larger context.

The work itself was interesting and varied. On her second day, Liara turned in to Rolina a substantial report on innovations in weapons technology and the likely economic effects. The next morning, Rolina stopped by her desk. "I looked over your report," she said.

Liara straightened in her chair. "I hope it was what you needed," she said.

Rolina nodded. Liara would guess she was somewhere in her matron years, though she hadn't mentioned a bondmate or children. Even on a few days' acquaintance, Liara guessed that Rolina's pale blue eyes didn't miss much, though she let few emotions show on her angular, indigo-hued face. "You were right about archaeology being a good preparation for this work," she said. "Very insightful analysis. Well done."

She went on to her office, and Liara smiled to herself.

Over the next weeks, she threw herself into her work with all the effort and stubbornness that had earned her her doctorate at an unusually young age for an asari. She devoted hours to the tasks Rolina assigned to her, working to be as accurate as possible. She spent extra hours developing additional skills: techniques for finding people, ways of managing masses of data; she asked Devesh to show her some of his methods of hacking through computer systems and navigating data architecture. Nireen made a point of introducing Liara to consultants and clients that the firm dealt with regularly, and she made an effort to be friendly and remember the skills and connections of each. She was determined not to let hours at a desk weaken her physical or biotic training, either. A few inquiries directed her to a very discreet training facility favored by a number of freelance asari commandos, where she could keep up her biotics training as well as practice sparring and shooting. If she needed to defend herself, or if Shepard came back— no, _when_ Shepard came back—she'd be ready.

* * *

><p>Liara did not let herself forget the reasons she was doing this. Over tea, she asked Nireen, very casually, "Do you ever have dealings with the Shadow Broker?"<p>

Nireen frowned. It was a dramatic contrast from her usual open expression, making her suddenly look considerably older. "Well, yes. Everyone does at some point. But—" She hesitated

"But?" Liara prompted, and sipped her tea.

Nireen shook her head. "Dealing with the Shadow Broker is dangerous. We settle our business with him in credits, straight up. No favors, no future considerations. He does pay very well."

"Hm." Liara made a show of looking thoughtful. "Does he have permanent agents on Illium?"

"Of course. There's an asari with an office in the financial district. If somebody wanted to do business with the Broker and didn't have another contact, they'd go there." Her frown deepened. "There are probably plenty of other people on the Broker's payroll, one way or another. They're the ones who are more dangerous. Why are you so interested?"

Liara shrugged. "I'm new to the information trade. The Shadow Broker is the one you hear about, after all."

"Ugh." Nireen shook her head again. "Don't get the idea that's what information trading is really like, all that secrecy and espionage and bribery stuff. The Shadow Broker operates at an entirely different level from most of us."

They parted and returned to work. It wasn't so different, though, Liara reflected. Even after just a few weeks, she knew that Rolina's business included dealings with Illium's corporate and political interests that everyone involved preferred to keep secret. The Shadow Broker did the same, but on a larger scale; galactic instead of world-wide. And one of the biggest secrets, really, was who the Broker actually was and where he could be found. Not on Alingon, as she and Feron had found, to their cost. She grimaced.

But it wasn't too difficult to identify the asari agent Nireen had mentioned, and trivially easy to pay a couple of people on her own to set up surveillance on the office, just on the front and rear entrances for now. At least it was somewhere to start.

* * *

><p>Most days Liara rose before dawn for her workouts and returned to her small apartment after dark, aching and weary and with streams of data floating behind her eyelids whenever she closed her eyes. It kept her busy. Busy was good. It had the advantage of not letting her think too much about who or what she was missing. She missed a lot of things. She missed sitting together and talking around the little tables in the mess hall. She missed having tea with Dr. Chakwas in the middle of a shift. She missed Kaidan's steady competence. She even missed Wrex's goading and vile sense of humor, and Joker's attempts at innuendo. She was vaguely horrified to realize that she missed both of these things. She missed Tali's chatter and steadfast friendship. She missed Ashley, with a deep ache: her stubbornness, her patience with Liara's training, her willingness to treat Liara as a sister, awkward though that had been at times. She missed Shepard even more, her fierceness and brilliance and drive. She clung tenaciously to the belief that Shepard would return and hoped that Shepard would be able to forgive her for the obligation to Cerberus.<p>

She missed Garrus so badly that it was painful even to think about him, and yet she could hardly go a day without doing so. Even after so short a time together, she woke up missing his warmth, and his wry humor, and his rumbling voice, and she had to pull herself away from the memories. It had seemed so pressing, back on the Citadel, that she must go after Shepard, and so obvious that she could not ask him to go with her. But now she could hardly believe what she'd done. He'd been kind and affectionate and patient with her stumbling and shyness; he'd offered her a place in his home and his bed; he'd shared parts of himself that she was sure none of the rest of the crew had seen; and she'd repaid all of that with lies and an abrupt brush-off. Goddess, what must he have thought of her?

She knew it was folly, but sometimes she wondered how things might have been different if he _had_ come with her to Omega. What would it have been like to have three of them working together instead of two? To have someone there that she could trust beyond a shadow of a doubt? But what if... what if, in the end, she'd had to make a choice between escaping with Shepard's body and leaving Garrus behind, instead of Feron? Could she have done it? Could she have left a friend, a lover, in the Broker's clutches?

She wasn't sure she could.

Perhaps she'd only been able to abandon Feron because he was a near-stranger, or because she hadn't entirely trusted him. And what did that say about her? What kind of person was she, to be able to do that, to value a living person less than a friend's corpse?

It didn't matter, she told herself firmly. The choices she'd made couldn't be undone. She'd abandoned Feron to whatever fate the Shadow Broker deemed appropriate for traitors. She'd turned Shepard's body over to people she knew to be responsible for murder and abominable experiments. She'd hurt Garrus, leaving him thinking—what? That he didn't matter at all to her, probably, which couldn't be further from the truth.

Whenever these thoughts came up, she had to shake her head to clear it, breathe deeply, attempt to meditate. She just hoped all those decisions would be worth it. If Shepard came back—_not if, when_—surely it would be worth it.

* * *

><p>She was always the last person to leave the office. Nireen and Rolina usually both left by early evening. Devesh occasionally worked very late on some complex project, but he would shut himself up in his tiny office, strewn with bits of hardware, play music, and focus completely on his work. He and Liara didn't disturb each other at all.<p>

She did work on her assignments during those evening hours, but it was also a prime opportunity to use the firm's equipment to pursue her personal projects. She did this in small doses, at first, feeling a little guilty about it, but gradually found herself spending more time at it. She scanned extranet sites and scholarly work for references to Reapers. She looked for patterns in the surveillance footage of the Shadow Broker's office on Illium, hoping to be able to identify some agent that she could track elsewhere and, ultimately, back to the Broker's base. She attempted to keep tabs on Cerberus, starting with tracing Miranda Lawson's movements as best she could. She managed to find a sighting of Lawson on Earth, in the company of a respected human neurologist. Expanding her search from there, she found that the neurologist had subsequently left his position at a research hospital and moved off-planet. Some careful work found a small number of other researchers in different medical specialties who had similarly quit their jobs abruptly. Liara made a note to herself that it would be useful to find some way to predict which specialists Cerberus would contact next; possibly she could even contact them first and ask them to update her on their progress.

One night, unable to shake the memories of her friends, she decided to try out some of her developing skills. She was a little horrified at how easy it turned out to be to hack into the Systems Alliance personnel database. She searched for the Normandy crew, and the first thing she discovered was that no two crew members shared a new posting. They'd been split up and scattered. Besides that, very few of them were assigned to ships. Dr. Chakwas, for example, was now at the Mars Naval Medical Center. Liara frowned at that. Dr. Chakwas had often talked about her preference for serving on starships, but perhaps individual preference was not a factor in assigning personnel. Stranger yet, Joker had not been reassigned at all, even though his file indicated that his injuries had healed. Wasn't it odd not to make use of the pilot's considerable skills? Liara set up a small program which would flag any changes to his status.

She wrote a letter to Dr. Chakwas, and was relieved to get a pleasant reply in return, full of news about her new responsibilities, though she said little about the rest of the crew. Liara wrote to Tali as well; Tali was an enthusiastic correspondent, although her messages tended to have more detail about the people and activities on Tali's new ship, the Neema, and the Migrant Fleet in general, than Liara really wanted to hear. Tali was so obviously happy, though, being welcomed to a new ship with a well-respected captain, getting new duties, enjoying the respect of her crewmates, that Liara was glad for her.

She didn't write to Wrex, but she did keep an eye on Tuchanka. It was a hard place to get information from, because the planet's infrastructure and data connections were so severely limited. In addition, much of what went on among the krogan clans was a little hard for outsiders to understand; it tended to _look_ like meaningless violence, even if something more was happening. She could gather enough to know that Wrex was still on the planet, and that there seemed to be some uproar going on among the clans. She set up some more data flags to notify her if Wrex ever left, or if clan Urdnot came up in discussion.

She thought about trying to hack into the C-Sec databases as well, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was too painful, like picking at a wound she was trying to let heal.

* * *

><p>The end of her eight-week contract rolled around before she realized. She and Rolina met for an entirely satisfactory evaluation meeting, and Liara signed a new contract with similar terms. A few weeks later, Rolina dropped by her desk early one evening.<p>

"You work too hard," Rolina informed her. "You're not indentured, you know."

Liara looked up from her screen and blinked, trying to shift focus. "I really don't mind. I prefer to work hard."

"Nonetheless. I know you usually work late, but not tonight. We're all going out for drinks. My treat. Come on."

Liara opened her mouth to demur, but hesitated. Devesh came out of his office then, with that characteristically springy salarian gait. "You are coming, right, Liara? There's a new club that just opened last week. I've heard good things, we should try it out."

"All right," she said finally. It _would_ be good to relax a little, and perhaps make friends of her new coworkers.

The club had comfortable seats and a surprisingly understated decor. Its bar specialized in exotic cocktails that mixed ingredients from different cultures. Liara allowed herself to indulge in nostalgia by ordering a drink that mixed Earth gin with Thessian fruit spirits. The four of them talked for a while; Liara talked a bit about her archaeology experiences, and found that Devesh had an interest in antiquities, particularly of his homeworld, Aegohr; Liara and Nireen compared notes about schooling on Thessia and Illium, where Nireen had grown up. Rolina was a little more reticent, letting the younger three dominate the conversation.

After a while, Nireen got up to dance, and Devesh was drawn off to a conversation about innovations in omni-tool design with several other young salarians. Liara sipped her cocktail and watched the crowd. The clientele was very mixed-species; she glanced around at the various humans dancing or standing at the bar, and then found her eye drawn to the handful of turians scattered about the room. She found herself absent-mindedly judging them—that one not tall enough, the one next to him a little slight, another with not particularly pleasing coloring—before realizing what standard she was measuring them against. Her cheeks warmed, and she turned her eyes to her drink.

"You really do work too hard," Rolina commented, breaking the silence at their table.

Liara glanced up at her. "Is there a problem? I simply prefer to keep busy."

"There isn't. I can't complain about the quality of your work at all. I don't look forward to having to replace you, though."

Liara paused, confused, her brows drawing down. "Replace me?"

Rolina leaned toward her, resting one elbow on the table. "Liara, I'm a mid-tier information broker. I'm happy that way. It's profitable and the risks are manageable. I don't need to swim in deeper waters where the big fish gobble each other. You—" She leaned back and shrugged. "You clearly have ambitions. You'll move on, eventually, and I'll have a hell of a time finding someone to do half as much as you do."

Liara glanced away, shifting her weight in her seat. "I don't plan on leaving anytime soon."

"I know, I know. You just signed a new contract, and I don't see you as the type to break contract. Still. At some point you'll set up independently, maybe move into those deeper waters. Maybe do something else entirely. I'm not entirely sure what's driving you."

Liara frowned, not sure what to say to that. Rolina continued, "Nireen is convinced you're recovering from a broken heart by burying yourself in work, but she's a romantic."

Liara couldn't hide her flinch at that. Did it count as a broken heart if it was your own fault? She glanced toward the dance floor, where she could see Nireen dancing with another asari.

"Ah. Maybe she wasn't so far off after all. Was it Shepard?" Rolina's tone was gentle.

Liara found her tongue at last. "No." She shook her head firmly. "It wasn't like that. Shepard was... extraordinary... and I miss her, but she and I weren't together."

After a moment, Rolina said, in the same kind tone, "I'm guessing there was someone, though."

"I'd really rather not talk about it." Liara fixed her gaze on her brightly hued glass.

"Sorry. I'll back off. If you do want to talk some time, though, let me know."

"Thank you," said Liara quietly, and meant it. Under other circumstances, she might have resented the questioning, but Rolina's clear-sighted calm was soothing. It was good to know that she wasn't entirely alone on Illium. She offered, "You're not so far off, either. Working with Shepard let me know what it was like to contribute to something that really mattered. It was hard to find that sense of purpose in archaeology, so I thought to develop new skills."

"Ah." Rolina's thin face split into a satisfied smile. "You know how to reward an information broker. How do you see the information trade as really mattering, though, if you don't mind my asking?"

For a moment, Liara contemplated telling her about the Reapers. She could hardly think of a way to do so without sounding utterly insane, though—which was exactly the latest rumor about Shepard making the rounds of the extranet. Instead, she shrugged and gave a half-smile. "I never used to pay much attention to galactic politics, but after working with Shepard, it seems more important. I suppose I do have interest in those deeper waters you mentioned."

Rolina nodded, but Liara couldn't quite tell if she was convinced. Nireen returned to their table, then, flushed and warm from dancing, and Liara allowed herself to be dragged out for a session on the dance floor herself. Unskilled as she was, it made a convenient end to the conversation.

* * *

><p>As she read her latest long, chatty letter from Tali, full of Flotilla gossip, Liara reflected on her broken promise to write to Garrus. Not writing paled in comparison to what else she'd done, but she <em>had<em> said she'd write, one of the last things she'd said to him. One more thing to feel guilty about.

He hadn't written her, either, but she could hardly expect him to take the lead.

She'd started several letters and discarded each of them, unfinished.

_Dear Garrus,_

_I'm sorry._

_Dear Garrus, _

_There's something I should tell you._

_Dear Garrus,_

_How are you? Thessia is lovely._

No, she couldn't bring herself to invent lies about her imaginary stay on Thessia, and explaining where she was and what she was doing would invite questions she didn't dare answer. Tali had accepted her new profession without asking many questions; Garrus would not do so as easily. If she contacted him, she had to be prepared to tell him everything.

She put aside her personal messages and turned to the rest of her mail. She spent some time dealing with queries regarding current work before turning to the unfamiliar addresses: new clients, potentially, although much of it would be useless junk.

But she recognized one of the senders, although of all people in the galaxy, she certainly hadn't expected a message from Inspector Vakarian. Liara blinked, but the sender's name didn't change. An uneasy feeling coiled in her belly. What in the name of the Goddess could Garrus's father possibly be writing her about?

_Dr. T'Soni,_

_ Pardon me for presuming upon our very brief acquaintance, but I find myself at a loss. I am wondering if, by any chance, you are still in communication with my son. He resigned from C-Sec a month ago, and his whereabouts are currently unknown. He has not been in contact with any of the family, and his apartment appears unoccupied. I have pursued the matter through my own contacts, but have reached the limits of my resources._

_ As you are aware, Garrus and I have had our disagreements, but I am concerned for his well-being. If you have any knowledge of his whereabouts, or any ability to communicate with him, I would appreciate your assistance. _

"What?" Liara whispered. She felt dizzy, and a little sick to her stomach. Missing. Garrus was missing. Unless he'd become a Spectre—but, no. Even if he hadn't said anything to his father, the Inspector's connections were surely sufficient to inform him if that were the case. Tali hadn't mentioned anything to her, and she probably would if she thought there were cause for concern. He must not have been in touch with her, either.

Missing. She'd contented herself by assuming that he was all right, working away at C-Sec or progressing through the Spectre evaluation process.

Almost without conscious thought, she was bringing up the records of flights from the Citadel for the last month. Nothing in his name. Next she hacked the surveillance footage for the Citadel docks. She had an image or two from her omni-tool that she could use to scan for a facial match. It would take forever, though. She set the process to running in the background.

She could try contacting C-Sec personnel next. She knew a name or two, people he'd worked with. No, his father would have tried that already. Even if they knew about his tense relationship with his father, the older man was a respected C-Sec veteran. Anyone willing to say anything would surely have said it to him, not to her. She was merely the asari who'd left him. There was no point in re-treading ground the elder Vakarian would certainly have covered himself.

She had to think. There must be some angle the Inspector hadn't considered. She stood and paced, her fingers winding together. All right. Garrus had resigned from C-Sec. Suppose he'd left the Citadel of his own free will. What would he do?

She stopped on her fourth pass across the room, as a thought struck her. Dr. Saleon. She'd stood in the repurposed freighter, the air thick with the odor of blood and decay, and watched Garrus calmly and cleanly kill the salarian doctor. His calm, and Shepard's, their surety of purpose, had unsettled her. When she'd asked, afterwards, he'd admitted that he'd kept the file on Saleon for a long time. He'd remembered, and waited until he finally had an opportunity to bring the escaped criminal to justice.

Slowly, Liara returned to her console. If he'd remembered that case for months, or years, what other failed cases was he holding onto? It was only the work of a few minutes to hack into the C-Sec database, and to bring up the list of cases to which Garrus Vakarian had been assigned. She narrowed it down to only the ones in which no arrest had been made. That left her with a more manageable number. A look at the reports he'd filed on each case ought to tell her whether he'd had a strong suspicion about who the culprit was.

And... oh. A glance at the dates of each case showed that the one he'd been working on immediately before his resignation was on the list. That seemed like a good place to start.

She winced as she read through the report. Delays in processing paperwork had led to the escape of a known red sand dealer and probable murderer, with multiple victims, at that. The language of the report, dry and factual though it was, nonetheless let a hint of indignation come through. If she imagined the report read in his voice, it wasn't hard to detect the flex of sarcasm that probably masked full-scale fury. The escaped suspect's name was familiar. Liara sat back in her chair, trying to think where she'd encountered it before. In connection with red sand, she thought. When was the last time she'd been looking into red sand deals?

Mirki'it, that was it. The suspect was one of Mirki'it's agents. He had likely run back to home base on Omega, where C-Sec couldn't touch him...

Oh, Goddess.

Liara remembered Omega all too well. The noise, the smell, the atmosphere of decay and poverty and desperation. A place where there was no law, where most people got along by keeping their heads down and letting the powerful and the ruthless do as they pleased. Omega had nothing but injustice to offer anyone. She'd gone to Omega, herself, in innocence, only to discover more layers of conspiracy than she could handle. She still felt the sting of her failure there, and how close she'd come to losing her life. She'd imagined having Garrus with her on Omega, but imagining him by _himself_ on Omega filled her with horror. Garrus on Omega was an impossibility, a disaster waiting to happen. If he'd gone there in pursuit of one escaped criminal... what would he do when he looked around and saw that the entire place was filled with them?

She stopped her search of Citadel surveillance footage and started a new one. The Omega docks. Omega didn't have law enforcement, exactly, but there were cameras on the docks, because Aria T'Loak liked knowing who boarded her station. This was still going to take a while, and she had to hope he hadn't changed his markings. Reluctantly, she turned her attention back to her messages. She hesitated over what to say to the Inspector, and settled for a brief note to the effect that she hadn't heard from Garrus in some time and was sorry she couldn't help him. Truthful enough; she could always send another message if she had something worth telling.

She was still working her way through the rest of the message queue when her console pinged. The image scans had turned up a possible match, 60% probability. Not ideal, but... she was sure as soon as she saw it. The camera had gotten him mostly from behind, but he was glancing back over his shoulder. She could see the strong blue lines under his eye and along his mandible, and she recognized the visor immediately. The rifle across his back looked familiar, too. She saved the image and gently tapped it with her finger. "What are you doing?" she whispered.

She set up some programs before she returned to her assigned work: something that would continue scanning Omega surveillance footage, and another that would scan news and chatter out of Omega for any odd happenings around Mirki'it's operation. She was going to need more processing power, she thought absently, and put in an order.

A week later Thralog Mirki'it was dead, and most of his lieutenants with him. She broadened her scanning parameters several times over the next weeks: to look not only for facial matches, but for matches to a particular set of armor, and for possible associates like the green-skinned salarian she'd seen with him more than once. She took to scanning the news for odd occurrences anywhere on Omega, and regularly scanned the lists of deaths, holding her breath. There were often unidentified turians, but none of the right description. She did notice that while a lot of people died of bullets on Omega, death by bullet to the head, precisely placed, from a high-caliber rifle, seemed to have become a real plague among the criminal gangs and merc groups.

Eventually she set up a program to collect any and all references to _Archangel_.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks as always to Smehur for beta reading. I read the Mass Effect: Redemption comics while writing this, but didn't want to rehash them completely. <em>


	16. Deeper Waters

_**Chapter Sixteen: Deeper Waters**_

Devesh blinked his large dark eyes as Liara put her backup OSD in her pack and shut down her console. "You're leaving early tonight," he observed.

It was true; it was only early evening. Liara shrugged in response. "Rolina says I work too hard. I thought I'd take a little down time tonight."

He smiled. "Good. I'll see you in the morning."

"Of course. Have a good night." First thing in the morning was the weekly staff meeting.

On her way out, Liara found Nireen packing up her things. She gasped. "You are actually leaving the office?"

"I am. I need a change of pace."

"It's good to know even you take some time off every now and then," said Nireen with a smile. "Do you want to join me for dinner?"

Liara hesitated for a moment, but she did have a couple of hours before meeting her contacts. "I'd love to."

It was a pleasant dinner, outside at a popular cafe with a fantastic view of the Nos Astra skyline. Nireen declared a moratorium on work talk, and instead spoke about the latest vids and a thrilling new holonovel and other perfectly mundane things. "This has been wonderful," said Liara eventually, checking the time, "but unfortunately I need to go."

Nireen smiled. "Oh? Date tonight?"

Liara smiled back. "Something like that."

"Well, good. Let's do this again sometime."

"Absolutely," Liara agreed.

Then she went to meet her contacts, switching taxis twice and taking a deliberately complicated route, to make sure that no one was following her. Weeks of faithful surveillance of the Shadow Broker's offices in the financial district had finally paid off. At least, she hoped they had. She'd managed to identify a pattern, a particular batarian agent who regularly came to the rear entrance, occasionally with packages; tracing him showed that he also made regular visits to a private warehouse with a shuttle dock. He never went directly from office to warehouse, or vice versa, but the pattern was strong enough that Liara was sure the warehouse was also the Shadow Broker's facility. And if she could just break in and hack the right consoles, she could get the shuttles' flight plans, and then she'd be on her way to finding the Shadow Broker's base.

She considered it too risky to attempt on her own, however, so she'd tentatively approached an asari commando with whom she sometimes trained. It was the commando she was meeting now, plus two confederates whom the asari had hired to assist, all of them experienced infiltrators. Liara had insisted on coming along herself, though her contact was reluctant; so she'd agreed to follow orders and provide support as necessary.

Two hours later Liara was winding her way back to her apartment, another circuitous route, still keyed up with adrenalin and the burn that came from using her biotics in combat. It had been a simple, clean mission. They'd broken into the warehouse without setting off alarms, though they'd had to put down several guards on their way to the central computer. With limited time, she'd ended up downloading as much data as she could. She still needed to decrypt it, and then the real work could begin.

It was a lead, the first solid lead she'd found. At home, she set her system to decrypting the downloaded data. She paced around the apartment while she waited; she couldn't shake off the buzz from the mission enough to sleep. She had a glass of wine to encourage herself toward drowsiness, but it wasn't very effective. Restless, she sat down at the workstation and scanned through the day's news from Omega, filing away a couple of criminal deaths as Archangel's probable work. When her decryption program pinged, she eagerly turned to sorting through the jumble of data pulled from the warehouse computers—shipments, personnel, and more—she did have some shuttle flight plans, but she wasn't sure she had all of them, and it was going to take some plotting and analysis to figure out what was what.

"One step," she told herself softly. "One step closer to the Broker."

* * *

><p>She woke to the insistent chime of her alarm, confused because her back ached and she wasn't in her bed. She groaned and rubbed her eyes. She must have fallen asleep at her desk. She checked her files and backed them up before going in to turn off the alarm, and groaned again when she realized it had been going off for half an hour. She was going to be late for her training session, and probably for work, as well.<p>

Her training partner of the morning was not amused by her tardiness, in spite of her apologies, and insisted on working for the full hour despite the late start. Afterwards, Liara took a rushed, desperately needed shower, her mental clock ticking relentlessly away all the time. Even with her late start, she might be able to get to work only twenty minutes later than usual. It wouldn't ordinarily matter, since she put in more than enough hours, but Liara hated to keep everyone waiting for a staff meeting.

Nos Astra traffic wasn't cooperating, however, and Liara muttered all the invective she could think of as she pushed the limits of the taxi: asari, turian, and human. She wished she knew some Prothean curses, for good measure. The cab finally dropped her off and she hopped out, prepared to walk the remaining distance. She thought she heard a distant rumble and wondered idly if it was the construction going on a few buildings over from hers.

As she approached her building, she heard sirens, and watched as a Nos Astra police car swept past... and then another. Alarm made her freeze for a second, and then she ran.

At the building, there was already a perimeter being set up, and a stern-faced officer was shooing away the gathering crowd. "What's going on?" Liara demanded.

"There seems to have been an explosion, ma'am. I can't say more than that at this time. Rest assured, we are investigating."

An explosion. She felt suddenly cold. "I work here," Liara protested.

"We're not admitting anyone to the building right now," the officer told her firmly and turned away.

An explosion. With a growing sense of dread, Liara tried to get a call through to Rolina. There was no answer. Calling Nireen and Devesh had the same results. She swallowed hard, though her throat felt stiff, and approached the officer again.

"Listen," said Liara, desperately, "I can't get through to any of my co-workers. Can you at least tell me where the explosion was?"

"Fine," she sighed. Turning away, she murmured something into her comlink, frowned, and turned back to Liara. "It seems to have been at an information broker's office."

Liara felt as if her stomach had turned to ice. "Yes," she said. "That's where I work. Rolina Kallin's office."

The officer's frown deepened, and she said something quietly into her comm again. Then she said to Liara, "Follow me, please. We'd like to ask you a few questions."

Liara nodded, mutely, and passed through the perimeter tape. As she followed the officer, she tried to suppress the lingering fear that whatever had happened was because of her.

* * *

><p>Three bodies were recovered from the wreckage, the police told her. DNA samples confirmed their identities, and Liara felt a numb kind of relief that she hadn't been required to identify them herself.<p>

Just as numbly, she answered the police detectives' questions about their business, their clients, what she knew of her coworkers' personal lives. She said nothing about her private investigations. She didn't have to feign the stunned, empty expression of someone who'd experienced a great shock. She felt cold all over, so cold, as cold as Noveria. Deep within, under the layers of ice that made up her skin and muscle and bone, certainty crystallized within her.

This had been her fault.

She didn't know whether the Shadow Broker had intended her to die as well, or whether this was only a warning, but it had surely happened because of her. Because of her raid on the Broker's warehouse. Because she'd used the consoles at work to track the Broker's agents. It could be no coincidence, not so soon after the first real progress she'd made in tracking down the Broker. She had thought that she'd covered her tracks, but she must have been wrong.

Or perhaps the Broker had been watching her all along.

With that certainty came a kernel of rage. If he thought it would make her stop, though, _he_ was wrong.

Eventually the questionings stopped. The detective on the case told her that they'd been unable to identify the bomber. Liara nodded; she'd expected nothing else. Gradually, she picked up the pieces. She recovered the firm's files from offsite backups. She found new office space, a small, but beautifully situated office overlooking Nos Astra's trading floor. The first thing she did there was send awkward letters to Devesh's family and Nireen's mother. Rolina, apparently, had no family to notify, any more than Liara herself did, and that thought made her feel a little colder. The second thing she did was send notices to the firm's regular clients, informing them of the tragedy and offering to continue working with them.

With that done, she stared around her office, empty of anything but the desk, chair, and console, and gave herself space to worry about her friends. Would the Shadow Broker go after them, too, to put further pressure on her? Thinking it over, she concluded that in most cases the risk wasn't very high. If the Broker's reach extended to Tuchanka, Wrex still could probably handle anything sent against him. The humans might be at some risk, but she hadn't been in close contact with most of them, and the Alliance military ought to provide some shelter. Tali... Tali ought to be safe enough in the Migrant Fleet, tight-knit and protective, where they all knew each other.

And then there was Garrus, who put himself into enough danger every day. If the Shadow Broker knew his identity, knew of their connection, then he knew how to hurt her. She had taken precautions. She had saved all the footage and references under lock and key, triply encrypted.

Slowly, she opened the stash, and called up a random video clip. There was a kind of fascination in watching the footage she had collected. Most of it she'd watched more than once. Like this one: a warehouse, six vorcha ostensibly guarding a large shipment, but really posturing at each other. Suddenly, the room was filled with smoke, and in the next few minutes everything was a jumble, but a careful observer could catch glimpses of a blue-armored figure, so obscured that not even its species could be securely identified. When the smoke cleared, all the vorcha were dead, the armored figure was gone, and the crates were on fire. After watching it seven times, Liara realized that _almost_ all the crates were on fire; one was merely missing. Interesting.

The console chimed a new message alert as she finished watching the clip. Hastily, she closed it. The first of her replies from clients, alarmed and sympathetic, were coming in.

She answered messages all day, did some minor work for a few clients as a show of her ability. Most of them were willing to continue working with her; a few were undecided.

She needed them. She needed the income, and she needed the cover for her other activities. She would have to be more careful about those in the future.

At the end of the day, she was all too conscious that she'd not spoken to a living person in hours. Stiffly, she pushed herself up from her chair and stretched.

She went to Eternity, not far from the office. The asari behind the bar regarded her with dark brown eyes and asked, in a gravelly voice, "What'll it be?"

"Ice brandy," she decided. The cold burn of the liquor suited her mood.

The bartender watched with pursed lips as Liara drank the first glass fast and asked for another. "You okay, kid?"

Liara shook her head. Perhaps she ought to have been annoyed at the other's familiarity, but she couldn't muster the energy for irritation. "It's been a hell of a week." She was relieved when the asari nodded and poured her another glass in silence.

* * *

><p>Liara tried telling herself that she ought to leave Garrus well enough alone. For her safety, and his, she should stop scanning through surveillance footage, stop trawling the news feeds for any sign of him. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She'd lost track of him before, and he'd walked right out of his life. If she kept watching, she could... protect him, somehow. Maybe. She clung to that thought, the way she kept monitoring the rest of her friends, writing to Tali and Dr. Chakwas. She felt better, knowing where everyone was.<p>

The day she realized she could actually help Garrus was when she acquired intel regarding a shipment of illegal weapons to Omega. She sat there staring at the data. She could sell the information to the highest bidder. Plenty of people would pay a considerable number of credits for that, including Aria. She had contacts on Omega whom she could direct to secure the shipment, but most of them would simply sell the weapons themselves. There was only one person she trusted to use, or dispose of, these weapons appropriately. She thought, briefly, of simply contacting him with the data, and rejected the idea almost immediately. Contacting him directly would leave them both exposed. He'd ask questions. He probably wouldn't accept her help. She needed to find another way.

In the end, it wasn't difficult. She'd identified most of Archangel's associates, and one of them had lived on Illium not long before, and still knew people who knew people who owed her a favor. Working through three intermediaries, she could pass the information on to him.

Once she'd sent the data away, she took a breath. It felt... satisfying. Even silently, anonymously, and far away, she could help him and his team. She would have to find other opportunities to do so.

Shortly after, the weapons dealer turned up dead, shot with his own guns. Liara smiled to herself. It was risky even to do this, but it felt... good, right... to help. So she kept doing it. Money. Information. Whatever she came across that might be useful, she sent on, working through different agents as much as she could. He might be the Archangel, a human reference she'd had to look up, but she could be _his_ guardian angel.

* * *

><p>It took some time for Liara to realize that she was <em>lonely<em>.

She didn't notice right away because there was so much to do. Reestablishing the business was chaotic, and she lost a few clients while learning which cases to prioritize. Analyzing the data she'd retrieved from the Shadow Broker's warehouse became frustrating; she had all sorts of information, but not enough to give her a solid idea of where his central base was. There were a lot of possibilities, and she had to investigate each, slowly and carefully. She worked even longer hours than before; some nights she fell asleep in her office. Scanning the news out of Omega was one of the few pleasures she allowed herself.

So it took some time to realize that she might spend days at a time talking to people only over vidlink, and then only in a professional capacity. Liara had often been alone before, but she didn't remember being lonely. She had even enjoyed being alone, most of the time; she did not mind working on isolated dig sites for lengthy periods, losing herself in her work. On the Normandy, she now realized, she'd gotten used to having people around. She'd grown accustomed to Shepard's daily visits, chatting with Dr. Chakwas, talking with Ashley or Tali or Kaidan or—especially—Garrus. Rolina and Devesh and Nireen had filled that gap for a time, helped to fill her life with conversation and companionship, and now they were gone, too. She'd become too used to company, and she'd never felt so lonely in her life as now, in Nos Astra, surrounded by strangers, occupied with their own business.

Seeking some sense of connection, she stopped in at Eternity from time to time. Only for a drink or two and a bit of conversation; she never let herself get truly drunk. She became enough of a regular that others recognized her and sometimes struck up conversation, though they rarely bothered to exchange names. The asari behind the bar was always friendly. Her company eased the ache of loneliness a little. Occasionally the longing for connection grew stronger, and Liara would allow herself to meet the gaze of a curious stranger (usually asari, sometimes human) at the bar, edge a little closer, eventually slip off somewhere private to touch, skin to skin, mind to mind, reveling, for a little while, in the feel of someone else's hands and mouth on her body. Casual, anonymous, and guarded, making sure her temporary partners wouldn't see the secrets she held in her mind.

One night, there weren't any familiar faces in the crowd, and there was a salarian bartender instead of the usual asari. Liara ended up striking up a conversation with the human woman next to her. She had the solid frame and demeanor of a soldier, a little like Shepard or Ashley, though any resemblance ended there. She asked Liara what there was to do in Nos Astra; Liara admitted that she was no native, but could recommend a couple of restaurants and a club. "I'd steer clear of the north side of the city, though; it's a little rougher there."

"Thanks," said the woman. "I can handle myself, though."

"I'm sure you can." Liara finished her drink. She paid her tab, having reached her self-assigned limit.

The human looked at her thoughtfully. "You're leaving?"

"It's getting a little late." She rubbed her forehead and stumbled a little getting off her seat.

Her neighbor caught her arm. "Hey," she said. "Do you want to get out of here together? I have a hotel room not too far from here—"

Liara blinked. It had been a little while, and the woman's hand was warm on her arm, stroking lightly against her skin. "All right."

They left Eternity together, and didn't make it far before the woman pulled Liara aside into a gap between buildings and kissed her, her lips warm and soft and urgent. A surge of desire rolled through her. She opened her mouth, letting the other's tongue seek hers, and moved her hands over the muscles and curves of her back and buttocks, pulling her closer, so that they were flush, breast to breast and hip to hip. Liara's eyes had fallen closed and she was closer to the edge than she thought. Her mind opened without conscious intention, reaching out toward the other's…

… and she saw, in a flash, the cold threat in the other's thoughts. She flared, sparking blue and shoving the woman away from her. She saw the glitter of the knife as the woman lunged back at her, and threw up her arm. She felt the sting of the blade slicing into the flesh of her arm, managed to wrench the weapon away with another biotic surge, but couldn't dodge the fist that slammed into her cheek. A stronger flare flung her attacker across the alley, and Liara finally had enough room to draw her pistol and level it at the woman's face. "Did you think I'd be stupid enough to go unarmed?" she snapped.

The woman laughed. "Knew about the biotics, not the gun. Well played, T'Soni."

"Don't move," Liara said sharply as she made to get up from her fallen position.

"Or what? You got the stomach for it?" She started to rise again. Liara steeled herself and shot her in the leg.

"Yes," she said. "I do. You know who I am. You tried to kill me. Who are you working for?"

"Who do you think? Don't think this is a compliment; you're insignificant to the Shadow Broker. He's just clearing up loose ends." Somehow she launched herself to her feet, her own pistol in her hand—where had that even come from?—Liara backpedalled and fired, once, twice, three times, and her assassin finally fell. She stood numbly, breathing hard, just becoming aware of the trickle of blood oozing down her arm.

Their scuffle had made enough noise to summon the Nos Astra police. Liara answered all their questions truthfully enough. It turned out that her attacker was a known contract killer, and Liara's claim of self-defense was backed up by her own injuries. The case was quietly closed. Liara silently resolved not to make that particular mistake again.

* * *

><p>Her arm slowly healed. She let the scar remain, to remind herself not to let her guard down. She wasn't sure her apartment was safe anymore, so she found a new one. She paid extra for special security measures, like kinetic barriers on the large windows, and even more to have those extra measures quietly disappear from any records or plans. Her work took so much time that she finally hired an assistant, vetting the applicants as carefully as she could. Initially, Nyxeris's job was simply to screen visitors and handle the simple queries that were beginning to take up far too much of Liara's time. She proved quick and sharp and discreet enough that Liara gradually gave her more responsibilities, allowing herself to concentrate on monitoring Cerberus and the Shadow Broker. On the latter, she might be proceeding too cautiously; every possible lead turned into vapor. Weeks turned into months, and she finally took Nyxeris a little deeper into her confidence, hoping desperately that another mind on the problem might get her somewhere. She acknowledged to herself, a little guiltily, that it was a relief to have someone to talk to.<p>

* * *

><p>One morning a shrill buzz woke Liara before dawn. She sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes. This wasn't her usual alarm; it took her sleep-fogged brain a few moments to realize that it was her high alert, for urgent news. There were only a few circumstances that would trigger that alert. She lunged for the console.<p>

Shepard.

Shepard was alive.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks as ever to Smehur for beta reading. Hope you all won't hate me too much for giving Liara a hard time in this chapter!<em>


	17. Questions

_**Chapter Seventeen: Questions**_

Shepard was alive. There had been false rumors of Shepard's return before; _this_ alert would only sound if she had solid intelligence to go on. Heart pounding, Liara checked her data. Shepard had been sighted on the Omega docks and at Afterlife. She scrutinized the relevant surveillance footage closely. It certainly looked like Shepard, the face and build fundamentally the same. The hair was a little shorter, and the armor was different, though it bore her N7 stripe bold and clear. Zooming out and looking at the larger image, she could see that Shepard was flanked by two humans. One was an athletic-looking dark-skinned male; the other was Miranda Lawson. That all but confirmed it. A quick check through her Cerberus files readily identified the man, former Lieutenant Jacob Taylor. Liara had been getting monthly updates from a source on Lazarus Station, who unfortunately wasn't on the medical team, and so had had only limited intelligence for her. The next report was only due in another ten days. Liara wondered what had become of the station and its crew, now superfluous. It would not surprise her in the least to find that Lawson had... cleaned up after herself.

Where had they come from? She checked the ID on the docks surveillance, tracked it back, and took a look at the ship docked at the correct bay. Her breath caught. She'd known Cerberus had been building a ship—they hadn't been able to hide such an expenditure of credits and raw materials—but she hadn't realized they were building a new Normandy, as large as life. No, larger. Where had they found a crew for that vessel?

She pressed her lips together tightly. Damn. She'd been so focused lately on tracking down leads regarding the Shadow Broker, each of them fruitless, that she'd failed to put the other pieces together, pieces that now fell into a very clear pattern. The fact that Joker had formally resigned his commission several months ago and then dropped off the map. The fact that she'd gotten a message from Dr. Chakwas only a few weeks ago mentioning that she was taking leave from Mars for a new opportunity, and wasn't sure she'd be able to communicate. It was a clever move: put Shepard in a somewhat familiar environment and surround her with key crew she might trust. It must feel very strange, to wake up and find the galaxy had moved on, two years away from what had been. Liara swallowed down a surge of guilt.

She wasn't sure what Cerberus was playing at, using Lawson and Taylor, though. Lawson's presence made a certain amount of sense; she was clearly one of the Illusive Man's most trusted operatives, and this sort of operation was definitely not Leng's type. Nonetheless, Shepard and Lawson would clash. Liara was certain of it. Shepard and Taylor would probably clash, too, though Liara had less understanding of the man's personality. She wondered, suddenly, just what the Illusive Man intended for Shepard to do. With Lawson and Taylor at her side and a ship provided by Cerberus, she was certainly not a free agent. And why Omega?

She could think of a few ways to find out. To start with, she opened up the program that collected news from Omega, and started scanning through it for anything that might yield a clue about what Shepard was doing there.

The sixth item down made her blood run cold.

_Freelance mercenaries wanted. Good pay, no references needed. Be part of the force that brought down Archangel. Inquire at Afterlife. Job does not entail membership in Blood Pack, Blue Suns, or Eclipse_.

"Oh no," she whispered. "No no no." This wasn't supposed to be happening. Or rather, if it did happen, she was supposed to hear about it first. What the hell were her agents in Eclipse doing?

As if the thought summoned it, her console notified her of a high-priority incoming message. Sure enough, it was from a source in Eclipse who confirmed her worst fears: the Blood Pack, Blue Suns, and Eclipse were coordinating an assault on Archangel's base. The initial stages had actually begun a few days ago, the source informed her apologetically. The source hadn't been able to get word out earlier because Eclipse had shut down external communications, convinced that Archangel's team was tapping them.

Which they were. Liara had put them on the lead toward those comm frequencies herself.

"Goddess," she hissed. "Spirits of fire and judgment. Jesus fucking Christ." She cursed her lack of timely intel in every term and language she could think of. Her biotics prickled along her spine, the sensation building until a sudden surge blasted datapads off her desk, scattering them around the room. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths; it had been a long time since she'd lost control that way. Her agents in Eclipse were ordinarily useful, enough so that she'd been careful not to compromise them. It was very difficult to find sources on Omega who were loyal, effective, and able to avoid irritating Aria. She only had one informant in the Blood Pack on Omega, and he was as dumb as a brick. She'd never managed to get an agent into the Blue Suns; they were too tightly associated with the Shadow Broker.

And the result was that she'd gotten this information too late. They were going after Garrus, and she'd found out _too damned late_ to intervene or even warn him. She'd tried so hard to help him, and now she'd failed. Again. She'd couldn't bear the thought of adding his death to her list of losses.

Her eyes were filling with tears. She pressed the heels of her hands against her closed eyelids so hard it hurt. _Not now_, she told herself savagely. _You don't get to cry about this now._ Taking deep breaths, she tried to clear away the adrenaline flooding her system and _think_. There had to be something she could do. Maybe she had some other agent on Omega she could send to assist? Or... Shepard. Could she get a message to Shepard somehow? The commander would not willingly leave a teammate in jeopardy... if it was really Shepard. If Cerberus had not altered her character beyond recognition. Perhaps she could give new orders to her source in Eclipse...

She read the message again and sagged in her chair. She had just received the message, but it was time-stamped several hours earlier. The mercs had made their first moves days ago. Whatever was happening on Omega was surely moving too quickly for her to intervene. There was no way to accurately predict what the current situation was. _He might be dead already._

Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks at that thought. She scrubbed them with the back of her hand. She could not, would not, let herself think that way. For the moment, she would just have to wait, and do her best to put the problem out of her mind.

In the meantime, she still needed to figure out what Shepard was doing.

She put a couple of queries out to certain agents. Cerberus's cell structure being what it was, sources in other cells wouldn't be likely to know anything about Shepard's unit, but they might know something about Cerberus's overall priorities.

But it was just barely possible that she might be able to get some information from someone within Shepard's cell, if she had guessed correctly.

_Dear Dr. Chakwas,_

_I don't know if you'll be able to get this message, but I'm very interested to hear about your new position. It is always so good to hear about old friends, after all. If you have concerns about the security of your messages, please send to me using the following encryption protocols:_

Her console flashed an alert: _Personal message from Tali'Zorah. Keywords relevant to recent activity._

Liara blinked, startled. Ordinarily she'd save a message from Tali to read when she needed a break, but the VI's judgment that it had relevant keywords caught her attention. She opened the message.

_Liara,_

_I don't know how to say this. It's insane, and impossible, but... I saw Shepard. Alive. Please don't think I'm crazy, Liara. She knew me, spoke to me. She remembered a favor she did for me that no one else should know about. She asked me to join her. I couldn't, I had a duty to the Fleet that I have to carry out._

_I'm worried for her, Liara. She's working with Cerberus. I don't understand any of it. Maybe she's been infiltrating them all this time? Or something? Can you find out anything about what's going on?_

_Tali_

Liara let out a long breath, elated. Here it was, confirmation from a source she could trust that Shepard was herself. She bit her lip, trying to decide how to answer. She had mostly avoided directly lying to Tali up to this point, and she wasn't about to start now. She wrote back, promising Tali that she believed her and would look into things.

She was still trying to chase down leads and get insight into Cerberus's agenda a few hours later, when a fresh alert lit up her console.

Announcing Archangel's death.

"No," she said aloud. "_No_." Her eyes burned and she could feel the strain from her teeth clamping together. Confirmation. She wouldn't believe it until she had... until she had confirmation.

She pulled together every stream of information from Omega that she considered even remotely reliable. The picture that emerged was chaotic. The death toll among the mercenaries had been immense. The survivors were in disarray, communications were a mess, but she soon noticed a crucial fact:

No one had claimed the bounty.

Which meant _they _couldn't verify his death. And the merc groups themselves were a shambles. The Blood Pack seemed to have collapsed into in-fighting, which meant Garm was dead. A second Eclipse contact notified her that Jaroth was dead. And while her reports were fragmentary, they led to the conclusion that Tarak was also dead. All three of the mercenary leaders dead: that couldn't be coincidence. Liara got up from her desk and paced, shaking the tension out of her shoulders.

If she considered the situation as a whole, it no longer looked like random chaos. It looked like a pattern. A suspiciously _Shepard-shaped_ pattern. She took a deep breath, and another, trying to calm herself. She'd held on to hope for two years; she just had to hold on a little while longer.

* * *

><p>Garrus hadn't adjusted to the ship's time yet. He'd been living on Omega time for months, only to wake disoriented from his injuries and surgical anesthetic, and even that was only a few days ago. But he could tell it was the night shift: lights dimmed, everything quiet, only a few crew members in the CIC, giving him wary glances as he paced quietly by. He took the elevator back down to the crew deck. Since he couldn't sleep, maybe he'd take another look at the primary cannon and think about upgrades, like Shepard had asked. He rounded the corner into the mess and was surprised to see someone there. It was Joker. Garrus hadn't been aboard for more than a few days, but he hadn't seen the pilot leave the cockpit yet. "You're up late, aren't you?" he observed.<p>

Joker started, his eyes focusing. He adjusted his cap. "What are you, my mother? So I couldn't sleep."

Garrus shrugged. "Doesn't make a difference to me, as long as you can fly."

"I can always fly." Joker tilted his chair back on two legs. "Have a seat, if you like."

Garrus hesitated for a moment before folding himself into the offered chair, human-scale and jabbing into his back in odd places. The two of them should have a lot to talk about. Until a few days ago, he hadn't seen Joker in years. He couldn't think of anything to say, though. Everything seemed unreal: Shepard, alive, glaring gashes in her skin a testament to her reconstruction; his team, betrayed to their deaths, leaving him racked with grief and rage; the Normandy, the same but different, its crew... working for Cerberus.

"How are you feeling?" asked Joker. "After... you know." He waved a hand in the direction of Garrus's mangled face, awkwardly.

Garrus tried to recall if he'd heard Joker asking after anyone before. Particularly him. On the SR-1, they'd treated each other with mutual respect, but not much warmth.

"I'm... all right," he said. Absently, he touched the bandaged side of his head. There was no feeling. He wondered how much pressure he'd have to apply to feel _something_. All numb. He wasn't sure how much was nerve damage and how much, the meds. "I'm lucky to be alive, and Chakwas stocks the good stuff."

Joker snorted. "Don't I know it."

A somewhat more comfortable silence settled between them. Garrus broke it, this time, saying, "So. Cerberus."

He wasn't quite asking a question, but Joker heard it. "The Alliance wouldn't let me fly. I'm obviously unstable, since I kept insisting it wasn't a geth ship that took my girl down. It looked nothing like a fucking geth ship." He hunched his shoulders. "Got me for insubordination, too."

Insubordination that had led to Shepard's death. Still, Garrus had never blamed him. He'd disobeyed his share of orders himself. And he'd seen Joker after the attack, his eyes distant and haunted. "You gave the rest of us a chance to evacuate," he pointed out.

"Yeah. I guess. Shepard doesn't seem to hold a grudge either, for some reason."

"You talked to her about it?"

"Sort of. She told me to get my ass out of the cockpit faster next time. Anyway, Cerberus let me fly. I only found out about Shepard later."

Garrus nodded. "And Dr. Chakwas is here. What about the rest of the old crew?" Being surrounded by Cerberus hirelings made him feel on edge.

Joker shrugged. "The Alliance crew is scattered all over the place. I don't know where most of them are any more. I heard Alenko got promoted, but we didn't stay in touch. I guess he's Anderson's new golden boy, or something."

"Mm. I suppose Wrex is still on Tuchanka."

"As far as anybody knows, yeah. Tali was on Freedom's Progress, but she had to go back to the Flotilla. Shepard asked the Illusive Man where everyone was. Even he didn't have a clue about you."

Garrus lifted his healthy mandible, but it was a poor substitute for a smile. Knowing that he'd eluded Cerberus surveillance for two years would have given him a keen sense of satisfaction a few days ago. Now the satisfaction felt dulled. "What can I say," he muttered. "I know how to cover my tracks."

Joker snorted, but his smile quickly fell. He took off his cap and began fiddling with it. "Apparently he also said Liara's on Illium, working for the Shadow Broker. Do you know if that's true?"

That punched right through the numbness and he shifted in his chair. After all this time, he wasn't prepared for it to hurt this much. The Shadow Broker? Was that why she'd left, so suddenly? Unbidden, the memory of her eyes and the scent of her skin came back. He drew a breath, and another, carefully, feeling as though he'd taken a krogan fist to the gut. His hands had tightened into fists, he realized, and he consciously relaxed each muscle. "I wouldn't know," he said at last, working to keep his voice even.

Joker squinted at him. "Really? I thought, if anyone knew what she was doing, it would be you."

"I don't." It came out in a growl. He managed to unclench his jaw for long enough to add, "I haven't heard from her in years."

"Huh. Okay." Joker leaned back in his seat. "Sorry. Didn't realize that was a sore spot."

"It's in the past," Garrus said, aiming for a lighter tone. He suspected he was missing the mark. He'd been trying to convince himself it _was_ in the past for two years, without much success. And as much as he'd wanted to forget about it and move on, the fact that he still didn't know _why_ she had left made him itch. He hated unsolved problems and unanswerable questions. Always had. He couldn't shake the riddle that Liara posed. She hadn't even written, like she'd said she would. He hadn't really expected her to, but that broken promise still bothered him, too. Sometimes he saw her in his dreams. Sometimes things were... good. Familiar. Reminding him of the times they'd had together. And then he'd ask her for an explanation. She never answered, not in any way that made sense; she'd stay silent or babble nonsense about the Protheans while he demanded answers, until he was shouting and she was crying. Then he'd wake up disgusted, hating himself both for making her cry and for being unable to just let it go.

"Right." Joker didn't sound convinced. "Sorry I brought it up."

"No need," said Garrus, more easily.

"I should be getting some rack time." Joker rose stiffly to his feet. He started toward the shared crew quarters and then hesitated. "It's, uh, good to have you back aboard, Garrus."

"Thanks," he said, startled. He watched Joker go, considering.

Maybe he wasn't the only one who didn't entirely trust Cerberus.

Unsettled by the conversation, Garrus headed toward the forward battery. Focusing on weapon schematics for a while would help clear his head.

Liara, working for the Shadow Broker. His serious, earnest, easily flustered asari archaeologist—an agent of the Shadow Broker. It didn't compute. It was disturbing enough that, even after all that had happened to him, he couldn't get the notion out of his mind. A notion he'd have scoffed at, once upon a time. But given her abrupt departure, anything was possible. He didn't know what to think. A new thought occurred to him suddenly. Had she owed something to the Shadow Broker? Had she been under duress at the time, and he hadn't seen it? But if so, why hadn't she asked for help? The idea that she'd needed help, and been afraid or reluctant to ask him for it, grated. She could have asked. Should have asked. Surely she'd known that.

Over the next weeks, Shepard kept him busy enough. They'd left Omega behind, with Mordin Solus installed in the science lab. The presence of another non-human, someone who wasn't Cerberus, made Garrus feel slightly more at ease. He knew the salarian by reputation and had no doubt that he could handle himself, whether in the lab or on the battlefield. The presence of Zaeed Massani, who was lurking down on the engineering deck, was not as reassuring. Garrus knew Massani by reputation too, and didn't trust him for a second. But it was Shepard's call, and she seemed confident that she could deal with him.

Cerberus had given this Normandy a nice set of weapons, but Garrus knew he could make them better. Shepard's eyes lit up when he showed her the schematics for the Thanix cannon. He wasn't supposed to have them, but he still had some friends in the Hierarchy, and it was for a good cause. He was looking forward to installing and using them. Beyond his work in the battery, Shepard had him accompany her regularly: to the Citadel, for a brief meeting with Anderson; to the prison ship Purgatory; to Korlus. Their crew complement was filling up with eccentrics: a thief, an angry biotic, a tank-grown krogan. Garrus was wary of all the new additions, and surprised to find the thief relatively likable. She was certainly a more stable and predictable element than the other two.

And then they got the orders to go to Horizon. Their first opportunity to really see what they were up against with the Collectors. The whole mission was grim and disturbing as hell, and was capped off with a run-in with Alenko that left Shepard cold and furious.

Afterwards, Garrus found himself roaming the ship again, tired but too irritated to sleep. He slowed down when he saw light coming from the port observation deck, unusual for that hour of the cycle. Poking his head in, he found Shepard on one of the glossy black couches, a bottle of something in hand.

"Garrus!" she said, raising the bottle in a salute. "Come on in and join us. I bet there's something dextro-friendly at the bar."

"Us?" He looked around for another person.

Shepard gestured, and Garrus finally made out Kasumi, slumped on another couch and snoring softly. He entered the room cautiously. "How much have you had to drink, Shepard?"

She shrugged. "Don't know. Don't feel drunk."

"Hm." He inspected the offerings, selected a bottle of turian brandy, and poured himself a glass before joining Shepard on the couch. "You doing all right?"

"Sure," she said. "I'm just fine. Why wouldn't I be? It's not like my boyfriend just told me I'm a traitor."

He took a drink. "You're not a traitor, Shepard."

"Are you sure? I'm not sure. See, he _got_ to me. And now I'm not sure."

"I'm sure," he said firmly. "You're working in the best interests of your people and the whole galaxy."

"I haven't forgotten Toombs, or Kahoku, or anything else they've done, you know."

He glanced around and up, wondering if Kasumi had disabled the cameras and other surveillance in here, as he had in the battery and his quarters. "I know, Shepard."

"And it's not like I don't know Cerberus is manipulating me." She made a sour face. "He's always been so goddamned stubborn. There's one right way to do everything, and Kaidan Alenko knows what it is."

Garrus snorted. "Reminds me of my dad."

"You should tell him that. I bet it would go over real well." She shook her head. "To tell the truth, it's one of the things I like most about him. He thinks about things differently than I do. Keeps me honest." She took a long pull from her bottle. "Doesn't make it any less annoying."

Garrus made a noncommittal grunt. It seemed like she needed to vent; the least he could do was listen.

"_You_ didn't hold Cerberus against me," Shepard commented.

"I was a little preoccupied with staying in one piece at the time. I did ask questions."

"Later. After you were aboard. And you heard me out. If you, a turian, can see that Cerberus is just a means to an end, why can't he?"

Garrus thought about that. And not only about that. "I guess I get it, in a way. He thought he knew you. Maybe he thought you two had something special. Then you were gone, and now you show up again in a way that calls everything into question. Was he right about you? Or were you pretending all along?" He shut his mouth, abruptly, feeling as though he might have said too much.

Shepard was silent for a moment. "You have a point there, I suppose. I imagine it's pretty hard to swallow the idea that I'm back from the dead." She frowned. "I thought... I thought what we had there was... some trust, you know? I never hid who I was. I make tough decisions to get tough things done. I did it on Torfan, I did it on Virmire, I'm doing it right now. The only thing I ever asked from any of you is to trust me that I make these decisions for the right reasons, and if he trusted me before... Can you love someone if you don't trust them?"

Garrus's grip tightened on his glass. He suddenly realized he'd emptied it at some point. The conversation was hitting too close to home. Trust. Love. Questions without answers. "It's not that easy, Shepard," he said.

"Ought to be, if you really care," she grumbled. She glanced sideways and nudged her boot against his. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Uh-huh." Shepard didn't bother to hide her skepticism. "Sounds like you know more about this subject than you're letting on."

Spirits. He put down the glass, not quite daring to look at her. "Maybe. But, if you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about it."

Her eyes narrowed. "You know you can come to me with any problem you have, right?"

"Thanks, Shepard, but I'm fine. Really."

"All right." She sighed and rubbed her eyes. "I should get some sleep."

Garrus stood and offered her a hand. She accepted, and he hauled her to her feet. "Where are we headed next?" he asked, walking with her to the elevator.

"Illium," she said. "Got a couple more of the galaxy's finest misfits to recruit. You in?"

"Absolutely."

She stepped into the elevator. "See you in the morning, then."

"Good night, Shepard."

She nodded as the elevator doors closed. Garrus headed off to his own tiny cabin. He was halfway there before he remembered who else was on Illium, and the alarms started going off in his head.

* * *

><p><em>Thanks to Smehur for an excellent job of beta reading!<em>


	18. Answers

_A quick note: as of this chapter, I've changed the title of this story from the ever-less-accurate **One Night on Noveria **__to **Nights, Days,** **Shadows**. _

* * *

><p><em><strong>Chapter Eighteen: Answers<strong>_

Liara had been preparing for this moment since she heard Shepard was back, but as the doors slid open behind her, she realized she wasn't really prepared at all. She was momentarily annoyed that Nyxeris had let them in, since she was still on a call with a recalcitrant client. She stiffened her spine and focused on the conversation, crisply uttered the threats that _might_ induce him to pay her what she was owed. Only when she'd finished the call did she turn to face them.

Well. She definitely hadn't been prepared for Shepard to bring both Garrus and Lawson with her.

"... Nyxeris, hold my calls," she said.

Her eyes slid over each of them in turn. Lawson looked much the same as she had two years ago, much the same as she ever did through Liara's surveillance footage. She met Liara's eyes coolly, keeping her face bland and still, as if they had never met before. Shepard, in the middle, looked like... herself, except for the orange glow of cybernetics in her eyes and leaking through the cracks in her skin. But she greeted Liara with a smile, and it was a familiar expression. Garrus...

The worst of her fears had been assuaged when she received a short, careful message from Dr. Chakwas, informing her that Shepard was alive and well and that Garrus was alive and recovering from his injuries. Liara had been grateful for the doctor's promised reports, but not satisfied until she'd managed to hack the surveillance system that Cerberus itself had installed on the Normandy. When she'd heard his voice and seen his face, even half-hidden behind the bandages, she'd finally let herself break down, sobbing tears of pure relief.

In person, the wounds looked more livid, raw around the edges of the bandage. His eyes met hers with cold intensity; his demeanor was stiff and impassive, that of a model turian bodyguard. An observer would hardly have guessed they'd even met before.

As Shepard settled herself in the chair across from Liara, her armor creaking, Garrus took up a position next to the door, arms crossed, pistol within easy reach. As if she were a threat to Shepard. Her stomach lurched. He probably wasn't even thinking about it, she realized, and forced herself to return her attention to Shepard.

Pulling up the requested information on Thane Krios and Samara was easy enough. Since she'd been eavesdropping on conversations around the Normandy, she'd anticipated the request and had the files prepared already. Lawson's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. She probably suspected her surveillance. Liara would have to make sure that Lawson didn't manage to cut off her access. She only realized she was treating Shepard as she would a client, with distant professional courtesy, when Shepard's eyes sharpened and she leaned forward.

"If you know anything about the Collectors, you know I could use your help."

Liara's insides clenched. She should have expected this invitation, but somehow she hadn't foreseen it. "I can't, Shepard. I have... other obligations."

"Like what? Are you in some kind of trouble?"

Liara got out of her chair abruptly and turned away, trying to compose her face. No, she wasn't ready for this at all. She was not ready to tell Shepard the whole story. She thought about the Shadow Broker and Feron, and Rolina and Nireen and Devesh. "A lot has happened in the last two years, Shepard. I have... debts to pay. Work to do."

"Can I help?" She looked back at Shepard. Her gaze felt weighty, seeming to hold something infinite in the red depths.

"There is something," Liara said, and explained the hacking she needed.

Shepard's eyes flickered. "I can do that. No problem. Why do you need me, though?"

Liara's eyes dropped. "There aren't a lot of people I can trust."

Shepard nodded. "I'll get you your data and be back in touch."

She went out, with Garrus and Lawson at her back. Neither of them gave Liara so much as a backward glance. When Nyxeris had followed, returning to her desk, Liara let out the breath she'd been holding the whole time. Her hands were shaking. That had been so much harder than she'd expected.

* * *

><p>"Well," murmured Shepard, "she's different." She rolled her shoulder and set out across the trading floor.<p>

Garrus wasn't so sure. He made a noncommittal noise. Trailing after Shepard, keeping an eye out for threats, he thought back over the conversation. Yes, Liara carried herself with more confidence than in the old days, and her demeanor had been distant. She'd learned how to control her expressions, somewhere along the way. Her eyes had landed on him and then flickered away, and he'd felt a moment's anger that she could do so that easily. Maybe she couldn't stand the sight of him any more. Spirits knew he didn't always recognize himself, if he caught his reflection out of the corner of his eye.

He'd put down the anger, though, to look at what his visor was telling him. Elevated heart rate. Fluctuations in body temperature. Irregular breathing pattern. He didn't know precisely what the data added up to—guilt, perhaps, or shame—but they told him that her appearance of calm was hard-won.

So was his. He'd steeled himself before meeting Shepard at the airlock, and they'd both been taken aback when a smiling asari informed them that Liara had paid their docking fees and instructed her to assist them. Shepard's eyebrows had gone up. Garrus had managed to maintain a neutral expression then, but he had a harder time when they walked into her office and he saw her for the first time since she'd told him she needed time to _clear her head_. It still made him angry, that implication that he was a _distraction_, something that was confounding her, and he held onto that anger as he watched her, letting Shepard do the talking.

Now, strolling through Nos Astra at Shepard's back, he felt the anger fading away, replaced with... something else. Curiosity, maybe. His detective instincts suggested that he might finally get some answers, with a little pushing. She was hiding something, still. He knew it in his bones. Well, she was an information broker, after all; she must be hiding a lot of secrets. Most of them didn't concern him. But he was sure that she was hiding something personal. And the task she'd given them made him think. Shepard handled the hacking, her fingers flying over her omni-tool; Garrus kept a lookout and considered. Cracking into secure networks, downloading data—just what was Liara up to?

Garrus put his suspicions to one side while they dealt with other business in Nos Astra, including a firefight through the Dantius Towers to catch up to the drell assassin on Shepard's list. He kept them in mind, though, as he, Shepard, and Taylor returned to Liara's office the next morning. He observed her like a suspect. He'd witnessed, and taken part in, his share of interrogations over the years, and one of the things he'd learned was that if you weren't asking the questions, it was even more important to watch the suspect carefully. Her eyes slid toward him when they came in and he took up his former position near the door. _Elevated heart rate_. She swallowed. Her eyes returned to Shepard and remained fixed on her. She smiled, but the skin around her eyes didn't crinkle. A practiced smile, not a spontaneous one. The signs were much the same for humans and asari. Liara and Shepard exchanged pleasantries, and Liara offered Shepard credits for the hacking work. Garrus wasn't sure whether to be amused or offended by that one.

Finally Shepard asked, bluntly, "Are you working for the Shadow Broker?"

"No," said Liara. "Actually, I'm planning to kill him."

She projected calm and resolve, but his visor told him a different story. She went on, "I've been working to take him down for two years. This data could be what I need to get a step closer."

He wished he could see Shepard's expression as she tilted her head to the side. "What the hell happened? I've never seen you like this before. It's hard to imagine the archaeologist I knew two years ago, plotting a murder." Her voice remained calm, too, soothing, that tone she used to draw people out.

Liara looked down for a second, her cheeks tinged faintly violet. _Elevated body temperature_. She stood, shifting her weight from side to side. Whatever had happened, she wasn't at peace with it. And for some reason she was now having trouble looking at either him or Shepard, her eyes fixed somewhere over Shepard's shoulder. "I was on a job with a friend. Things... didn't work out as planned. We fought the Shadow Broker's agents. My... friend... didn't escape. I don't know if he's dead, or being interrogated... tortured..." She stopped and took a deep breath, then turned to pace toward the window. "I need to find him. I owe him my life. And I need to make the Shadow Broker pay for what he's done."

Garrus couldn't see her face for a moment, but he was getting plenty of biometric readings pointing toward her agitation. As he watched, they crept back into a normal range. Liara resumed her seat, her face once again calm.

"If you come with me, I can help you," Shepard pointed out, reasonably enough. "You'd stand a better chance against a big player like the Shadow Broker with some backup."

Liara's calm shattered. Her eyes widened, her pulse climbed, and she shot out of her chair again. "I _can't_, Shepard. I need to follow leads, find patterns, chase clues. I need to work. I can't do that on the Normandy."

"That's ridiculous. We've got resources."

Liara shook her head emphatically. "You're traveling, you're in deep space. Your communications are routed through comm buoys. I need constant access to data and my contacts. Shepard, I know your mission is important, but I can't drop everything to come with you. I—" She checked herself. "I'm sorry."

Garrus was fairly sure that wasn't what she'd originally intended to say. Part of him was irritated that she was prioritizing her personal business over a vital mission; the rest of him was trying to figure out _why_. Just what was this captured friend to her, anyway? His chest tightened.

"This is insane." Shepard's voice grew sharp, dropping its former placating, persuasive tone. "Spending two years of your life hunting down the Shadow Broker? That's an obsession. And do you really think you can take him on?"

Liara's lips tightened. "_You_ taught me not to label things as impossible, Shepard. And you don't know what he did! You couldn't. You were gone. For two years, and we all did what we had to do." Her eyes met Garrus's, briefly, before shifting away. "I had to make a life for myself. Find a new purpose. I did that, and I accumulated some debts along the way. But let's not argue. I don't have enough friends left to lose another."

Shepard leaned forward. "Fine. I get it. You can't conduct your business from the Normandy. But if we're friends, Liara, let me help you. You can come to me with your problems."

"I—" She looked to the side. Her throat worked for a moment. "All right. There is something. The data you gave me helped me identify a target. The Shadow Broker has a number of agents on Illium, but the most important is someone called the Observer. If I can identify the Observer, that should put me one step closer to the Shadow Broker. Nyxeris has narrowed the Observer to one of five operatives. Perhaps you can help me refine the list a bit."

Shepard settled back in her chair. "Point me in the right direction, and I'll talk to these operatives for you."

Liara shook her head. "This is a delicate operation, Shepard. I don't want to tip them off before I'm ready to move. And I can handle the violence myself." Garrus wondered just what she'd been doing in the last two years to gain that confidence. "I just need you to find some data fragments on certain servers and send them to me."

* * *

><p>Once they'd left, Liara closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. Her hands were shaking, and she felt far too warm. She took several slow, deep breaths. That had gotten... much closer to the truth than she'd planned. She ought to tell Shepard the truth. As a friend. It was surely her right to know what had happened to her body while she was... unaware. She should know, too, that the Collectors had been seeking it. That information might be useful to her mission. But it was a truth Liara had guarded for so long that it was hard to talk about it, even elliptically, as she had just been doing. And since Shepard seemed to be always accompanied by Garrus, telling one meant telling the other, which was even more difficult.<p>

She hadn't missed his scrutiny, or his carefully maintained stoic expression. Neither gave her much insight into what he was thinking or feeling. Liara shook her head. She couldn't focus on his reactions, when she was the one who had abused his trust. Whatever they had had was surely in the past, no matter how strongly she still felt about him.

She turned her attention to her console and tried to focus on her work. She had almost succeeded in keeping herself occupied for a time when Shepard called in.

"Liara? The data doesn't make sense. All five suspects are male, but the Observer is female. Something's not right here. Who gave you this information?"

"My assistant, Nyxeris. She gave me the information," said Liara, puzzled. And then it hit her, and she felt cold rage building up inside her. She activated the call button on her desk. "Nyxeris, could I see you in here for a moment?" Into her comm, she said, "Shepard, I'll talk to you later."

"Good luck, Liara," said Shepard.

Liara felt the biotic charge building up in her when the door opened and Nyxeris came in. "Ma'am?" she asked, shutting the door behind her.

Liara hit her with the strongest warp attack she could muster. Nyxeris collapsed to the floor with a scream, writhing. Liara drew the pistol she kept under her desk and walked over. "You," she said, her voice shaking. "You were the Observer all along. How many times did you lead me astray?"

Nyxeris's face contorted. "You're making... a mistake..." she gasped.

Liara flung her straight up. Her body bounced off the ceiling. She cried out again. "I don't think so," said Liara. "The only mistake I made was trusting you." Once the realization had struck her, all the pieces fell into place. Why had her leads never panned out? Why had she chased down one dead end after another? Nyxeris had wormed her way into Liara's trust, always helpful, never too obsequious, and little by little she'd become the only person Liara dared rely on. Nyxeris's fingers twitched, trying to marshal an attack of her own. Liara shot her in the chest. Nyxeris gasped, and Liara watched the blood flow with a kind of distant anger. Nyxeris fell to the floor. Liara put a round between her eyes.

Once she was sure Nyxeris was dead, she searched her body methodically and thoroughly. Yes, her omni-tool had a significant cache of encrypted files. This, _this_, might finally be the lead Liara had been looking for for _two years_. She returned to her desk and set her best decryption program to work on it. She also made a call to some extremely discreet individuals who could dispose of almost anything for a substantial fee.

With that done, she buried her face in her hands. She'd killed before, but seldom at such close range. And never someone she knew. Or thought she'd known. She lowered her hands and looked at Nyxeris lying on the floor, her limbs twisted at unnatural angles. Then she fled to the tiny bathroom adjacent to her office and threw up. Trembling, she splashed cold water on her face, trying to regain her composure, and slowly returned to her desk.

What a fool she'd been. No wonder she hadn't made any progress in months. Absently, Liara rubbed the scar on her arm where the assassin's knife had cut her. Over a year ago, and she'd hired Nyxeris not long after that. And since then she'd been managed, deliberately hindered. She wondered if Nyxeris had had orders to kill her eventually. Fearing the consequences of her search for others, she'd isolated herself. She had made a great many mistakes. And others had paid the price. Liara squeezed her eyes shut, at once relieved that Shepard had been there to help, and frustrated that she still _needed_ her help.

* * *

><p>Shepard herself appeared in the door of Liara's office a few hours later, after the cleaners had come and gone. "Did you have any trouble?"<p>

"Not particularly," said Liara, forcing her voice to stay calm. "Nyxeris was very skilled, but she needed more practice with her barriers. Practice I'm afraid she won't be getting. She did have some interesting data hidden away. Thank you, Shepard. I... wouldn't have caught her without your help."

Shepard gave her an appraising glance and nodded. Then she came in and settled her armored weight in the chair. Garrus and Jacob Taylor followed her in, standing to either side of the door. "What's your next step?"

"Much the same as before. I need to sift information, go through the layers the Shadow Broker uses to hide himself. Nyxeris's personal files may be the key. I'll need to decrypt them to be sure."

She was uncomfortably aware of Shepard's measuring gaze. "Liara, are you all right?"

"I'm fine." She folded her hands in her lap, so they couldn't betray her by trembling. "Why do you ask?"

"You're being very... intense about all this. Just what did the Shadow Broker do to you?"

"I told you..."

"You didn't tell me much. There has to be something more to it than that."

Liara took a deep breath and looked at her hands. Shepard really did deserve to know. "Did Cerberus ever tell you how they recovered your body?" She glanced up at Taylor, briefly. He looked blank. Perhaps he didn't know. Shepard slowly shook her head.

Liara stood, filled with restless energy, and turned to look over the trading floor. She could say it, but she couldn't look at Shepard while she did. "I gave it to them. I gave you to them, Shepard. Because they said they could rebuild you."

She heard something, the slight creak of metal, and turned back toward them. Shepard sat still, simply looking up at her, and Taylor looked surprised, still leaning against the wall. Garrus had moved, straightened up and taken a half step toward her. His impassive mask had dropped for a moment, and he looked at her with eyes wide and mandibles slightly loose. Now that she had started, the words spilled out of her. "To do that, I had to take it from the Shadow Broker. He was going to sell your body to the Collectors."

Shepard broke in. "Why didn't you tell me about this before now? And what would the Collectors want with my... with me?"

Liara shook her head. "Because I screwed it up, Shepard." She blinked, trying to force down the tears that threatened to come. "Everything went to hell, and I barely escaped with my own life. The Shadow Broker's agents took my friend, and... I gave you to Cerberus. I told myself... I told myself that Cerberus was the only chance to get you back. But I knew they would use you for their own purposes, and still, I let it happen. I'm sorry, Shepard, I thought..."

Shepard interrupted her again. "It's all right."

Liara swallowed down the thickness in her throat. "Is it?"

"Yes. You did the right thing. This mission is important. I couldn't do it if you hadn't given me a second chance." To Liara's surprise, she smiled, her skin crinkling around the reddish scars on her cheeks. "And frankly, I'd rather be alive than otherwise."

"Thank you," said Liara, rather faintly. She'd had two years to second-guess herself, to worry about her decision and what everyone, most importantly Shepard, would think of it. "I..." She glanced up to where Garrus still stood frozen by the door. "I was afraid you'd hate me."

Shepard shook her head. "So that's your grudge against the Shadow Broker?"

"He would have sold you to the Collectors. And I told you, he took my friend." She looked down at her desk. "And the rest... let's just say it's been a long chase, the last two years. I've lost... a great deal, along the way."

Shepard stood and reached over to touch Liara's arm. "Well, you haven't lost me."

Liara had to fight down the tears again. "That means more to me than you know."

Shepard smiled. "Listen, I have some business back on the ship. But we can talk again later, all right?" Liara nodded. "And when you track down the Shadow Broker, you call me if you need backup."

"I will."

"Then I'll see you later, Liara." Shepard headed for the door. Taylor fell in behind her as she passed through, but Garrus remained. Liara met his eyes. His uninjured mandible flickered out, and he looked as though he wanted to say something, but he didn't speak. Liara wasn't sure what to say, either. The moment lengthened while they stared at each other.

The door slid open, and Shepard leaned in. "Coming, Garrus?"

He blew out a breath. "Right behind you," he said, and followed her out.

Alone in her office, Liara heaved out a deep sigh. She felt as though a great weight had been lifted from her, one she'd been carrying so long she'd stopped noticing how heavy it was. Shepard was well, and she wasn't angry.

She sat down to work with a lighter heart than usual, though she frowned at the accumulation of messages. She would probably have to take on a new assistant. Preferably, this time, one who was not spying for the Shadow Broker. She began to work through the new messages.

Half an hour after they'd left, her terminal pinged. _New personal message. High importance_.

Seeing the sender, she swallowed before opening it.

_I think we need to talk. Can we meet? GV_

Her breath and pulse quickened. She shouldn't have been surprised, really. She checked the time and sent a swift reply.

_Meet me at Eternity in two hours? L_

* * *

><p><em>Um, so I imagine most of you were hoping for more face time between our leads. Next chapter, promise. Thanks to Smehur for the beta.<em>


	19. One Night on Illium

_**Chapter Nineteen: One Night on Illium **_

Garrus was already at Eternity when Liara arrived. He'd chosen a corner booth with his back to the wall and a clear view of the entire club. Scanning the room, Liara didn't spot anyone familiar except Aethyta, behind the bar. She approached her to order her drink and start her tab. "I'm buying for the turian in the corner as well," she said.

Aethyta glanced in that direction and nodded. "Whatever you say, kid. Date tonight?"

Liara put on a smile. "Something like that. It's rather... complicated."

Aethyta snorted. "If it's too complicated for you, let me know. I'll give you some pointers."

Liara rolled her eyes. Innuendo from Aethyta was nothing new. Taking her glass, she turned from the bar and moved across the room. Garrus watched her approach with no particular expression. Her heart was pounding, a fact he was undoubtedly aware of. She slid onto the bench, settling herself not quite within arm's reach. She took a sip, not really tasting the drink, and not sure what to say.

Garrus broke the silence. "So I'm thinking you didn't go to Thessia, after all."

She sighed. "No. I'm sorry."

"And where did you go instead?"

"Omega," she said, and saw him tense out of the corner of her eye. "I... you told me to let it go, about Shepard, but I hadn't been able to. I'd hired an agent to look into certain rumors on Omega. Feron. He's the one the Shadow Broker captured. So in a way, it's my fault he was involved in this at all." She frowned at her glass. "In a way. So I went to Omega, and from there we raided one of the Broker's bases. After that I came to Illium."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, his voice low but resonating harshly. "You didn't have to go alone."

She dropped her head. "Believe me, I have a great many regrets about what I did."

"Then why?"

She stole a glance at him. "I suppose I wasn't sure you'd agree."

"Because of Cerberus?"

She shook her head. "I didn't know about their involvement, or the Shadow Broker, or the Collectors, until I got to Omega. Afterwards... yes, afterwards I thought you'd be angry that I gave Shepard to Cerberus."

Garrus was silent for a few moments. "Yeah. I suppose I would have been."

"As for why I didn't tell you before I left the Citadel..." She took another swallow. "You had a life there, a job, family ties, prospects of becoming a Spectre. I didn't think I could ask you to throw all that away."

"Mm." He emptied his own glass and set it down on the table, turning it with gloved hands. "I did that anyway, all by myself. I took off for Omega a few months after you left."

She knew that already, but she seized the chance to ask him a crucial question. "Why?" She turned to look into his face.

He sighed, looking off into the distance. "I didn't have much patience, I suppose. C-Sec was an even worse grind than before. Well, you know what it was like. It didn't get any better. Long shifts, new regs, more forms to fill out. We were badly shorthanded and the new personnel didn't always adjust to the work well. All of us who'd stuck it out were burning out. I was having more and more trouble seeing the point of staying. And then I had a case that went bad. I'll spare you the story, but I traced the culprit back to Omega and went after him myself."

"What happened to Spectre training?" To her annoyance, she'd never managed to crack the Council's highly classified files, including candidate evaluations.

Garrus turned to face her. "I could have made it. If I'd been willing to say Shepard was lying or deluded, or that everything to do with the Reapers was Saren's fabrication. That was made clear to me very early on."

She smiled. "And of course you wouldn't."

His laugh was short and bitter. "No. I told them what they could do with those demands. I was on Virmire and Ilos myself. I wouldn't disavow Shepard or the evidence I've seen with my own eyes. Not that my testimony mattered to them."

So his prospects as a Spectre had foundered on the rock of his own integrity. His father should have been proud. Liara almost asked him if he was in touch with his family, but thought better of it. She took another drink. "How is Shepard, really?"

He considered for a moment. "She's... herself. She fights just like she used to—well, except for that new tactical cloak thing, which is unnerving. She _commands_ just like she used to. It's her. I'm certain of it."

"Good," she whispered.

"She talks to me more than she used to. I don't think she trusts the Cerberus hires as much. She's winning them over, too. Most of them were in awe of her before she set foot on the ship. By the time this mission is done, they'll be hers."

Liara smiled. "That sounds familiar. How's her state of mind?"

His mandibles pulled in and down. "She keeps a lot under wraps, so it's hard to tell what she's really thinking. You remember how she was after Virmire."

"Yes, I do." She looked down, feeling a pang of grief for Ashley.

"It's like that. She's very focused on the mission. She doesn't talk about her... disappearance, except to joke, now and then. Frankly, I'm surprised she's not... less functional." His voice grew warmer. "In spite of everything she's been through. Being disavowed, Cerberus, the Council and Alliance holding her at arm's length now, Alenko... she just takes it in stride. I don't know how she does it. She's not drinking, as far as I can see, she's not hiding away in her quarters, she seems perfectly sane. She just keeps going."

"What happened with Kaidan?" Her surveillance had caught a bit of muttering about Alenko and Horizon, but not in enough detail to give her the full story.

Garrus sighed deeply. "He was stationed on a colony that the Collectors hit. We ran into him in the aftermath. Harsh words were exchanged. Strangely, he's less willing to overlook the Cerberus connection than you or I." He took a drink.

"Oh dear," Liara murmured. "Perhaps I should try to explain—"

Garrus shook his head. "I doubt it would help. You can if you really want him to shout at you, I suppose. I'd recommend just staying out of it, myself."

Liara nodded, still troubled, and cast about for another topic of conversation. "She seems to rely on you a lot," she ventured.

"She keeps a pretty fluid rotation, actually. I think she's getting acquainted with everyone's quirks, making sure we know how to work together. But yeah, she wanted me to be here on Illium. We have a couple of team members who are not... the most trustworthy around a large civilian population." He grimaced.

Liara had a fairly good idea of which team members he was referring to. "I didn't just mean in the field. It must be good for her to have someone she can trust on the team." She caught herself pleating her napkin with the fingers and smoothed it out again.

Garrus looked toward her, and she found her face heating under his scrutiny. "Yeah. It was good to see a friendly face."

Liara nodded stiffly. She wanted to ask more questions, to ask about _him_, but she wasn't sure it would be welcome. He was the one who spoke, saying quietly, "I hadn't heard anything from you in two years."

She flinched, took a breath, and spilled it all out at once. "I was afraid you'd be angry, and I wouldn't be able to explain. And I couldn't bear to give you more lies. I kept trying, I started message after message, and none of them seemed right. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know how to apologize enough."

At that, his eyes softened. "I suppose I can understand that," he said, then paused. "What have you been doing? You were clearly leaving a lot of things out, back at the office."

She scanned the crowd around them out of reflex and inched closer to him so she could lower her voice. "Well. I took a job when I came to Illium. I—" she pushed down the thickness in her throat and tried to keep things light. "I'm not sure there's really that much interesting to say about the work of an information broker. Obviously there are things I can't talk about in public. I spend a lot of time staring at screens and analyzing data. Goddess. It's even harder to talk about this than about being an archaeologist." She forced a laugh. When she looked up and met his eyes, his gaze was measuring, thoughtful. She swallowed and tried to smile.

#

When she'd made her confession to Shepard, back in her office, Garrus had wanted to charge across the room and demand to know why she hadn't fucking _told_ him, asked for his help. He'd stopped himself after the first step, and when she looked him in the eye, her expression was no longer guarded, but full of sorrow and guilt and worry.

It was how she looked now, tense, eyes damp, writing off her work as dull and tedious when he could tell there was more to it than that. Something had gotten to her, badly; something she didn't want to talk about in public. He couldn't maintain his anger when she looked like that.

He could understand why she'd made her choices, too. He remembered snapping at her when she couldn't stop talking about Shepard's disappearance; he remembered being relieved that she'd dropped the subject afterwards. Maybe if he hadn't... he pulled himself back from the thought. There was no point in revisiting the past that way. Her explanation made sense. More than that: it _fit_ with the person he'd known and cared for two years ago. That gave him a deep sense of satisfaction. It meant he hadn't been wrong in assessing her character and personality back then, and the uncertainty and bafflement he'd felt in thinking about her ever since faded.

He just wished she had talked to him then, instead of making a choice for him.

Changing the subject, he took a drink and said lightly, "I'm surprised you haven't asked about this yet." He waved his hand vaguely at the right side of his face.

She looked down and took a breath. "I know what happened."

"You do?" He was only momentarily surprised. "Ah. You have eyes on the Normandy."

She looked up at him, unwavering. "I had eyes on Omega, too."

He blinked, startled again. He thought he'd covered his tracks well enough. "What? How?"

Her shoulders rose and fell. "I put the pieces together. I wanted to keep track of my friends. I found you'd left the Citadel, and I tried to guess what you'd do. I took a look at your unsolved case files and made a guess from there."

"That's a secure database," he muttered, fixating on the irrelevant. He felt oddly stunned, trying to process this latest revelation.

"I've learned a lot about hacking." Her lips pressed together. "It's hard to get good information on Omega. I collected a lot of surveillance footage. I tracked all kinds of sources of news, most of them unreliable. But you left... a wide trail, as you went. I knew what you were doing. I tried... I tried to help where I could."

"Help." The word fell from his mouth. "How?"

"What I do now. Information. I found ways to get you things you might need."

"The weapons shipment," he said, more pieces coming together. "Mierin's contact on Illium."

"He didn't know it was me. I worked through intermediaries. It was the only way I could think of." She swallowed. "I wanted to help you, but I wasn't sure you'd take help from me."

The stream of information they'd gotten from Illium had been priceless. Names. Codes. Locations. Credits. Crucial intel. He could easily think of half a dozen times when they'd needed information badly, and gotten a tip at exactly the right time. He'd never suspected that someone had been watching, quietly pushing resources their way. It made him feel a little guilty for all the times he'd let his anger run rampant, back on Omega. He leaned toward her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Liara—thank you. It did help. A lot."

She leaned closer and her left hand came up, touched his face, the gentlest sensation of pressure on the injured side. "I placed informants where I thought it would do some good. It wasn't enough. I would have warned you, but I didn't hear in time."

He started to ask, "When did you—" but stopped when she leaned close enough that her cheek brushed against his. She flinched at his response and drew back, ducking her head. Her cheeks were tinged violet, and he was reminded of the first time they'd been this close, back on Noveria. His visor helpfully informed him her heart was pounding. His was, too.

He slid his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. She came willingly, slim and light and warm. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, a puff of breath against his skin, and then her lips were soft and warm on his neck. He flicked his tongue against her jaw line and the side of her neck, and she tasted exactly the way he remembered.

#

Liara gasped at the sensation of his hot, raspy tongue on her skin. His answering chuckle seemed to settle somewhere in her midsection, filling her with warmth and yearning. Her kisses grew more urgent, traveling over his neck and face; she looped her arms around his neck, seeking out the sensitive skin at the back of his head. His right hand traced the curve of her waist and hip, while his left arm pulled her in, closer, until she was firmly pressed against the unyielding ridges of his armor.

"Ow," she said, muffled.

"Sorry." He relaxed his hold, drawing back far enough to look into her eyes. "Let's get out of here."

_Yes_, her body agreed, and she pulled back to give herself a little space to think. Her apartment was halfway across the city. "My office is just a few minutes' walk," she said.

"Perfect," he rumbled.

She passed Aethyta a credit chit as they left and got a knowing smirk in return.

Liara didn't quite recall, afterwards, how they had gotten across the trading floor without colliding with anything. They stumbled up the stairs, arms wound around each other, and as soon as they made it into the office and locked the door behind, she was fumbling with his unfamiliar heavy armor, her fingers small and clumsy on the seals. Garrus laughed and took over while she undid her own clothes and slipped them off. The air was cool on her bare skin, the smooth surface of her desk strange under her naked bottom as she leaned back against it to watch Garrus undress. Revealing the natural shape of his body, heavy shoulders and broad chest, narrow waist and strong limbs made heat pool in her body, the longing tug on her mind. She reached out and ran her thumb across the old scar on his arm, where the shot had grazed him on Noveria, a groove hardly noticeable on the plating. She followed with her lips. His breath caught, and she found her way to a scar across his ribs that she didn't recognize.

"What happened here?" she whispered.

"Vorcha with a blade. Wasn't wearing armor. Stupid mistake."

She kissed it, felt the first light touch of their minds joining, and saw, briefly, the vorcha's savage face.

He ran his hand over the ridged scar on her arm. "And this?"

She swallowed. "Assassin. Also a stupid mistake." She thought of that night and felt him catch the memory from her.

They explored each other, mapping new scars with touches of fingers and tongues, drifts of memory. They fell more deeply into each other, a long, slow meld. She explored his mental landscape, too, tentatively, softly, even as she gently traced the edges of the half-healed wounds on his neck. There was a core in him that remained solid, fundamentally unchanged, perhaps tempered and refined, the clear intensity and passion and discipline that had always defined him; but there were knots of guilt and grief and glass-edged ridges of anger surrounding it like shattered tombstones. And as they merged together, she became aware of his own slow exploration, and showed him her own pools of rage and guilt.

She wasn't sure whether she was pulling or he was pushing, but she fell onto her back on her desk. She dimly heard something clatter to the floor, but she didn't care. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, moaned as their bodies came together. She reveled in his heat and the roughness of his skin and the low rumble of his voice as pleasure built up and washed through both of them, pushing the pain of the last two years aside.

When she slipped out of the meld and came back to herself, sometime later, she was still on her desk and wrapped around him, both of them panting and sweaty. Garrus was resting his head on her shoulder. Behind him, she could see the stars above Nos Astra's skyline. Her fingertips traced the edges of the scales on the back of his neck. "I missed you," she said softly.

He laughed, rumbling pleasantly against her chest. "I missed you, too. Between being angry and baffled."

She bit her lip. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left like that. I regretted it, later, but I could never find the words to explain." Her hands wandered to his shoulders, the ridge of his collar, muscle and plate, feeling the calm rise and fall of his breath.

"I was pissed as hell at first, but I wasn't going to chase after you," he muttered. "And then the more I thought about it, the more I was confused. I'd thought things were actually working between us, and when you left, I didn't know what to think. Was something not working for you? Had I been reading you wrong all along? Were you bored?"

"No no no," she said. "It wasn't anything like that—"

He went on, "I just kept swinging between anger and confusion, and I couldn't let it go." He propped himself up on his elbows and looked down at her. "And then when you explained to Shepard today, everything suddenly made sense. So I thought we should talk, maybe clear the air."

"And here we are."

He grinned, a lopsided but real, relaxed grin. "Here we are."

"I'm so sorry."

"Liara. You've apologized enough. You did what you thought was necessary, and I understand."

She closed her eyes. "Thank you."

After a moment, she pushed on his shoulder and he obligingly stood, letting her climb to her feet. She went to the liquor cabinet and found a bottle of racemic wine and two glasses.

His browplates twitched up. "Keeping liquor at work? Tsk."

She shrugged, pouring. "Some clients like to meet face to face, and some of them like a glass now and then."

He took a look at the label as she handed him his glass and coughed. "Spirits, that stuff costs a fortune."

She smiled as she took a sip. "I know."

They both drank in silence, the wine cool and crisp in her mouth. "So," said Garrus. "Where are we now? Was that—" he made an unfamiliar gesture with his free hand "—the last old business between us, or... something else?"

Liara bit her lip. "I don't know. What do you want? For me, there hasn't been anyone... serious. The occasional casual encounter, that's all."

"And the assassin. The same for me, minus the assassin."

"Good," she said, shivering at the memory. "So if you want to... well. Try again." She looked down, swirling the wine in her glass. "I would."

"I can't stay on Illium."

"I know. Any chance you'll be back?"

"Definitely. There are only so many places to resupply." He was drifting closer to her. "And I happen to like this one."

She relaxed. "Any chance you'll write?"

"Sure. If you do."

"It's a deal."

"I do have a request."

"All right. What is it?"

He stepped closer, until he was right in front of her, looming tall, and she could feel his breath when he said, "If you are ever in trouble, or need help, you ask me."

Liara couldn't stop the brief flash of annoyance. "I can take care of myself."

"I don't doubt that. But _if_ something comes up, don't presume I can't or won't help. Ask." His eyes were sharp and intent.

She took in a breath and released it. It was a fair, reasonable request. Especially after what she'd done before. "I will."

"Good. Now." He finished his glass and set it down. "The Normandy leaves tomorrow, but I don't have to report for several more hours."

Liara smiled, setting down her own glass. "Oh? And how do you propose to spend them?"

He bent and pressed his face into the side of her throat. She sighed and relaxed into the touch. His arms came around her, his hands sliding under her thighs, and he lifted her effortlessly. "I have a few ideas. Starting with this nice big window over here."

* * *

><p><em>Thanks to the fabulous Smehur for the beta. I'm not quite sure how long the next chapter will take, possibly a little longer than usual.<em>


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